Archive | April, 2013

Joe Fresh in Damage Control Mode… And Other News

Joe Fresh in Bangladesh

Damage control: Activate! Joe Fresh Style!

Loblaws, the company that owns the Joe Fresh clothing line, said that it will provide compensation for the families of victims who worked at the Bangladesh factory that collapsed last week. The incident left 380 people dead and hundreds missing. After Joe Fresh labels were found amid the rubble, it was revealed that the clothing line was produced in the factory. No wonder Joe Fresh sandals are only $4…. The garment workers in the factory reportedly get paid about $38 a month. That’s almost 10 pairs of Joe Fresh shoes! CBC News

henry gribbohm lost his savingsMeet someone who’s dumber than a carnie: New Hampshire idiot, Henry Gribbohm, decided it was a good idea to spend $300 of his $2,600 life savings attempting to win an Xbox Kinect for his kids in a game of “Tubs of Fun” at a local carnival. Not ready to admit defeat after losing the first time, Gribbohm went home, got the rest of his savings and continued playing until his bank account was completely empty. He did manage to get a consolation prize: a giant stuffed banana with dreadlocks. Gribbohm told local reporters. “I was going to get an Xbox Kinect…They lied to me.” Umm… this is the type of guy carnie games were made for (i.e the mentally retarded). CBS Local News

Ladies Night! With Guns!Shooting ranges are now taking cues from trashy bars by introducing Ladies Night! Women-only gun groups are popping up around the country (well, mostly around the south…) with the aim to “to teach a lady how to handle a gun safely.” With fun names such as Shooting Divas, Gun Powder Gals, and Pistol Packing Ladies, these groups want to show the world that guns and femininity go together like… carnie games and idiots? Anyways, it sounds like a great place to pick up women! On second thought, using cheesy pick up lines on women holding guns might not be the smartest decision. That won’t stop Henry Gribbohm from partaking though! Raw Story

Colbert Busch Went ThereOh no she didn’t – oh yes she did! Elizabeth Colbert Busch “went there” in her debate with Mark Sanford on Monday night. “When we talk about fiscal spending and we talk about protecting the taxpayer, it doesn’t mean you take that money we save and leave the country for a personal purpose,” said Colbert-Busch, in a direct attack on Sanford’s 2009 Argentinian trip with his mistress aka his hike on the Appalachian trails. Mark Sanford did what any cheating husband would do and pretended he didn’t hear her. But the moderator wasn’t having any of that, saying, “She went there, Governor Sanford.” The two are in a closely watched race for a South Carolina House seat. The Daily Beast

Whites Need Not ApplyNo ‘whites’ need apply. A casting call to hire a new CBC host that was looking for someone who was “any race except Caucasian”, has been withdrawn amid complaints. The Craiglist ad for the children’s show, Patty and Mamma Yamma, read: “Please only submit [an audition tape] if you match the following criteria: Male between the ages of 23-35 years; Any race except Caucasian.” The hiring agency has seen apologized for the “mistake”, saying the misinterpreted the request for a cast with diversity. First, what kind of casting agency posts host positions for children’s shows on Craigslist?  Second, if they were looking for someone to host a show about a yam puppet who runs a fruit and vegetable stand in Toronto’s Kensington Market, they should have just said “Asians only”. Problem solved. National Post

Syria Crosses the LineNot even new explosions in Syria and accusations of chemical weapons will be enough to get Obama involved. As deadly bombings hit central Damascus on Tuesday, killing 13 people, Obama told reporters in a White House news conference that he still wasn’t ready to get involved. Despite CIA evidence that Syrian forces used chemical weapons, Syria still hasn’t crossed the magic red line into Iraq 2.0 territory. Obama needs more evidence: “What we now have is evidence that chemical weapons have been used inside of Syria, but we don’t know how they were used, when they were used, who used them,” he said. New York Times

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Obama: Guantanamo Must Close – For Real This time!

New Push to Close Guantanamo

Sounds a little too familiar… but once again President Obama has pledged to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, amid a growing hunger strike.

Obama announced today at a White House news conference that his administration would give it another go and try to talk congress into closing the U.S. military-run detention center. Congress previously blocked all efforts to close the prison but for some reason Obama thinks renewed discussions will change their minds. Second time’s a charm!

“I’m going to go back at this,” he said. “I’m going to reengage with Congress to try to make the case that this is not something that’s in the best interests of the American people.”

Obama said that the prison is harmful to U.S. interests and is no longer necessary to keep Americans safe.

“It is inefficient, it hurts us in terms of our international standing, it lessens co-operation with our allies on counter-terrorism efforts, it is a recruitment tool for extremists, it needs to be closed.”

This news comes amid reports of a growing hunger strike. One hundred of Guantanamo Bay’s 166 prisoners are now participating in a hunger strike, protesting poor conditions and lack of trials. 21 of the strikers are being force-fed through a tube, a tactic made public in a recent New York Times op-ed written by a prisoner.

The hunger strike has gotten so bad, that it prompted the US to send in 40 nurses and medical specialists to monitor the situation. I’m no Guantanamo expert, but I believe this Current Event Cat sums it up well:

Current Event Cat - Medic to Guant

If Congress doesn’t stop blocking the closure, starvation may be the best hope to close down Guantanamo. In which case, they should probably stop force feeding them and sending over medical staff…

But, “I don’t want these individuals to die,” Obama says.

Just give it time…

Via: USA Today

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NBA’s Jason Collins: Yep, I’m Gay

Jason Collins Gay Athlete

Jason Collins became America’s first openly gay male pro athlete. Really? Seems like there should be more.

The 34-year-old NBA center, who is currently a free agent, came out on the cover of Sports Illustrated, proclaiming:

“I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.”

I guess coming out on the Sports Illustrated cover is like coming out on the cover of People for athletes.

The basketball player has said it is “mind-boggling” to be the first active male athlete in a major sport in the US to come out as gay. He also revealed that the Boston Marathon bombings partially inspired him to come out.

The recent Boston Marathon bombing reinforced the notion that I shouldn’t wait for the circumstances of my coming out to be perfect. Things can change in an instant, so why not live truthfully?

His grandma, however, wasn’t so sure about the whole ‘coming out’ plan:

My maternal grandmother was apprehensive about my plans to come out. She grew up in rural Louisiana and witnessed the horrors of segregation. During the civil rights movement she saw great bravery play out amid the ugliest aspects of humanity. She worries that I am opening myself up to prejudice and hatred. I explained to her that in a way, my coming out is preemptive. I shouldn’t have to live under the threat of being outed. The announcement should be mine to make, not TMZ’s.

So far, Jason Collins has been inundated with messages of support. Even President Obama gave him a call to offer support and congratulate the NBA player. But what’s even more important than getting a call from the president is increasing your Twitter base. Jason Collins gained some 10,000 Twitter followers just one hour after the story came out. So that’s the trick…

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Queen Beatrix

Current Event Cat - Dutch Queen Beatrix

Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands has abdicated the throne, handing it over to her son Willem-Alexander.

Princess Beatrix, formerly known as Queen Beatrix, signed the abdication deed on Tuesday after a 33-year reign. Beatrix, 75, announced her plans to step down back in January, citing that it was time for a new generation of royals to take over.

Willem-Alexander will be the first Dutch king since 1890. He was sworn in today as huge crowds of orange-clad partygoers celebrated in the streets. What kind of king will Willem-Alexander be? According to him he wants to “be a king that can bring society together, representative and encouraging in the 21st Century”. Well that sounds very generic.

Meanwhile, over in England, Prince Charles passive aggressively sat down at the royal breakfast table and slowly placed the newspaper headlines down for all to see.

Your move Queen Elizabeth.

Via: Current Event Cats

Oops, Bush Became President… And Other News

Sandra Day and Bush

Oops, Bush happened.

Retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor suggested that the Supreme Court probably should have stayed out of the whole Bush v. Gore 2000 election fiasco. O’Connor, who provided the crucial fifth vote in the 5-4 decision to make George W. Bush president, said, “It turned out the election authorities in Florida hadn’t done a real good job there and kind of messed it up. And probably the Supreme Court added to the problem at the end of the day.” Oh well, no harm done.*

*Minus harm done to Iraqis, Hurricane Katrina victims, and those not fortunate enough to profit from the Bush tax cuts (among others)

Washington Post

Inseminate MeThink your mother is bad? Well, she might be, but here’s one even worse (hopefully): A British woman has been issued a five-year prison sentence for forcing her 14-year-old daughter to get pregnant via a sperm donor. The mother really wanted a fourth child but was denied adoption so she did what any normal human would do and forced her virgin daughter to inseminate herself. Over two years the daughter had to inseminate herself seven times, “alone in her bedroom, using syringes of semen and douches prepared by the mother”. Although she miscarried at 14, she went on to have another baby at age 16. The Guardian

Hillary 2016Looks like patiently waiting for 8 years may pay off for Hillary Clinton. Two new polls released this week reveal that Clinton is the early favourite in New Hampshire’s 2016 Democratic presidential primary. 61% of the voters surveyed in the state indicate they’d vote for Clinton while poor Joe Biden would only garner 7% of the vote. Republicans, on the other hand, are more divided – at this point (which really means nothing since it’s years in advance…), it looks like a four way fight between Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie and Paul Ryan. Huffington Post

Prague ExplosionPrague goes boom. 35 people were hurt in a gas explosion in central Prague Monday morning. The blast ripped through a building containing offices and an art gallery, prompting more than 230 people to be evacuated from the area. Officials do not believe anyone is trapped in the rubble, which is more than they can say for BangladeshCNN

Secret Afghan CashAfghan President Hamid Karzai has been getting secret bags of US cash from the CIA. Method of delivery: suitcases, backpacks, and plastic bags full of cash. I just love getting plastic bags full of cash. The New York Times says it smells corruption – tens of millions of dollars have gone to Karzai’s office and much of it is used to pay off warlords and politicians. Karzai admits the CIA sent him secret cash but that the money was for projects such as helping the sick. New York Times

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Chris Christie Still Has a Hard-On for Obama

Chris Christie and Obama

Everyone knows that it’s anti-Republican AND anti-American to make any kind of bipartisan comment, but Chris Christie doesn’t care – he tells it like it is!

Speaking on MSNBC’s Morning Joe show on the 6-month anniversary of Superstorm Sandy, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie continued his love affair with Obama, saying the President “has kept every promise he’s made”.

Chris Christie shrugged off criticism from Republicans who proclaimed him a traitor for praising Obama’s handling of the hurricane back in election season 2012. Christie was a fan of Obama’s hurricane style back then, and six months later, nothing has changed.

“The president has kept every promise that he made,” Christie insisted. “And that fact is, that’s what I was saying at the time. What I was saying at the time, I was asked about how was the president doing? And I said, he’s doing a good job, he’s kept his word.”

“Since that time, I have to say, everything that they promised they would do, they’ve done. And so, I don’t have any complaints or arguments with them this morning on the issue of Sandy relief.”

But Christie didn’t want to totally alienate the Republican base so he made sure to add:

“And so, everybody knows I have about 95 percent level of disagreement with Barack Obama on issues of principle and philosophy, but the fact is we have a job to do. And what people expect from people they elect is to do their job.”

Chris Christie is currently hiding out on the Jersey Shore, trying to avoid the Tea Party lynch mob who are undoubtedly after him. His best bet to avoid detection? Disguise himself as a beached whale – it will take the least amount of effort and it worked really well for Kim Kardashian.

Whale Disguise

Via: ABC News

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Sherpa Fight Breaks Out On Mount Everest

Mount Everest

A fight’s just not a fight unless it’s on top of Mount Everest and involves angry Sherpas.

A high-altitude brawl broke out between two European climbers and their Nepalese mountain guides on Mount Everest.

Two experienced climbers, Switzerland’s Ueli Steck and Simone Moro of Italy, were nearing Camp Three at 7,470m (24,500ft) on Saturday when the incident occurred.

The pair ignored their Sherpas’ orders to wait while they rigged up some ropes. Not ones to take well to instruction, the two climbers, accompanied by a photographer, continued to climb up the mountain. The Sherpas did not like this. Then some ice fell and hit one of them in the face. Their rage grew further.

Eventually the rage reached the point where an angry mob of Sherpas attacked the climbers in their tent, throwing stones at it until they emerged. A loud argument ensued and several punches were thrown.

Not wanting to be frozen Everest corpses, the climbers packed up their bare essentials and headed back to base camp where they felt it was the “safest place to be”.

Simone Moro (the Italian – obviously) was not prepared to apologize to the Sherpas though. According to him “getting hit by chunks of ice is a very natural occurrence” and “as it stands, no Sherpa has come forward to show any injury.”

More than 3,000 people have scaled Mount Everest, which straddles Nepal and China, since Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first conquered the mountain in 1953. This, to my knowledge, has been the first report of an angry Sherpa mob fight.

Via: BBC News

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The White House Correspondents’ Dinner (aka Nerd Prom) Was a Success

Obama at Nerd Prom

At the 99th annual White House Correspondents’ dinner Saturday night, affectionately (?) nicknamed Nerd Prom, Obama brought on the laughter… and the tears.

Entering to the rap track “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled, Obama launched into a series of jokes, taking aim at Republicans, the media, and himself.

On spending time with Republicans: “Some folks still don’t think I spend enough time with Congress. ‘Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?’ they ask,” Obama said. “Really? Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell?”

On the media: “I know CNN has taken some knocks lately but the fact is, I admire their commitment to covering all sides of the story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.”

On growing old: “I look in the mirror and say I’m not the strapping young Muslim Socialist that I used to be,”

It wasn’t all fun and games for the President though. Obama closed by paying tribute to the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing as well as the recent tragedy in Texas, praising everyone from first responders to local journalists (minus CNN) for serving the public good.

The usual assortment of journalists, Hollywood types, Cabinet members, governors, members of Congress, and for some reason the Gangnam Style guy attended the dinner. But one person was noticeably absent… Well, actually nobody noticed until she started tweeting about assclowns.

Sarah Palin, upset that her invite got lost in the mail, took to Twitter to express her disgust with Nerd Prom. 

“That #WHCD was pathetic. The rest of America is out there working our asses off while these DC assclowns throw themselves a #nerdprom” 

Palin Hates Nerd Prom

But most people (particularly Tom Brokaw) were just thankful that Lindsay Lohan didn’t ruin another White House Correspondents’ dinner.

Watch President Obama’s comedy routine below, along with a sneak peak at the new Obama movie, starring Daniel Day Lewis as Obama and Tracy Morgan as Joe Biden.

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Car Bomb in Syria

Current Event Cat - Syrian Car Bomb

Syria’s Prime Minister narrowly escaped an assassination attempt after a car bomb was detonated in Damascus.

The car bomb targeted Prime Minister Wael Nader al-Halqi’s convoy and while the PM survived unharmed, his faithful bodyguard died in the blast. That’s what bodyguards are for!

The explosion happened near a public garden and a school in the a well-to-do neighbourhood in the Mazzeh district of the capital. The bomb was reportedly placed underneath a parked car in the area. Surrounding vehicles were destroyed beyond recognition in the blast, including a badly damaged bus.

The blast is the latest in a string of attempts to eliminate top members of President Bashar al-Assad’s regime. Last week an official was shot with a silenced gun at a restaurant in the neighborhood. Last July a suicide bomb attack killed Syria’s defence minister and deputy defence minister and left the country’s interior minister seriously wounded.  Sounds like whoever they got to pull off this assassination wasn’t very good at their job.

So far, no one has claimed responsibility for the attack (possibly because they failed at their task…), but similar bombing have been linked to the jihadist al-Nusra Front, one of the rebel groups fighting the regime. Al-Nusra!!!

Syrian government forces and rebels have been fighting for years now. 70,000 people have been killed since the violence broke out in March 2011. And the bodyguard makes 70,001….

Via: Current Event Cats

Todd Akin Made a Legitimate Mistake… And Other News

Todd Akin

Former Republican Missouri Senate nominee Todd Akin has been having a rough time lately.

Why? Because he keeps “re-living” his legitimate rape comment. Awww. That’s almost as bad as re-living a rape! The politician regrets his comment about women not being able to get pregnant by rape because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down” if the rape was “legitimate.” Akin claims he would take back his comments in a second, “all of us are fallible, we make mistakes, we say things the wrong way. I’ve relived that moment many, many times.” Perhaps. But if it had been a legitimate mistake, wouldn’t Akin’s brain have shut the whole thing down? USA Today

MantiPoor Manti Te’o. First his twitter girlfriend turns out to be some guy named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, then the one time Notre Dame star was passed over Thursday in the first round of the NFL draft by 28 teams. Even the teams that desperately need a linebacker. Ouch. But did his career take a turn for the worse because of the whole dead girlfriend hoax thing? Not according to ESPN, who says Te’o struggled long before the hoax was revealed in the national championship game against Alabama, leaving clubs to wonder how he would fare against similar talent in the pros. ESPN

Baby BurnerCan a baby be the anti-christ? Sure, why not! At least according to Childean cult leader Ramón Gustavo Castillo Gaete. The bushy-bearded leader is on the run from police after four members of his group were arrested by Chilean authorities for the ritualistic murder of a baby. The group taped a 3-day-old baby girl’s mouth shut and threw her (alive) into a bonfire after calling on the spirits. Why? Because the leader of the sect believed that the end of the world was near and that the child was the Antichrist. Makes sense. One of the group members arrested was the baby’s mother, who approved the sacrifice. Hmm. I guess Farrah Abraham has isn’t the worst mother ever. NBC News

Hagel in SyriaDid Syria finally cross the red line? Perhaps. The US government is evaluating evidence that Syrian government troops have used chemical weapons during their civil war. US intelligence agencies assessed “with varying degrees of confidence” that Syrian President Bashar Assad’s forces had used small amounts of sarin gas, a deadly nerve agent banned by international treaty. Syrian officials have denounced the allegations as “lies”. Last year, Obama issued Syria a warning, saying that use of lethal chemical agents would prompt some type of American response. The investigation is still ongoing and no one seems prepared to start up Iraq 2.0 just yet. Los Angeles Times

Delayed FlightsAngry travellers rejoice! In a rare case of Democrat and Republicans coming together in harmony, U.S. lawmakers from both sides passed a measure designed to end budget-related air traffic controller furloughs blamed for widespread flight delays. Sequester cuts had led to a shortage of 1,500 air-traffic controllers which in turn led to thousands of people writing angry Facebook status updates about their flight delays. Thankfully, that’s all over now and we can go back to hearing about what they ate for lunch and looking at pictures of their ugly babies. CNN

Bomber goes to PrisonBoston Marathon bombing suspect moves from Point A to Point B. Or more specifically, from the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center to a prison. Or even more specifically, to a facility at Fort Devens where federal prisoners are treated. Many of those injured in the Boston blasts were also being treated at the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and were not super comfortable being in the same building with the suspected terrorist. BBC News

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