Archive | April, 2014

Dr. Seuss Book Deemed “Too Violent” For Toronto Public Library

Hop on Pop Library

STOP. You Must Not Hop on Pop. Or at least according to one library patron who believes that Dr. Seuss’s beloved 1963 children’s book Hop on Pop should be banned from the Toronto Public Library because of the book’s violent themes.

The popular picture book was one of seven books that patrons with too much time on their hands have asked the Toronto Public Library to remove from its collection over the past year.

In Hop on Pop’s case, the patron complained that “it was violent and encouraged children to be violent with their fathers.” The crazed Torontonian library buzzkill not only recommended the book be removed, but also requested the Toronto Public Library apologize to Greater Toronto Area fathers and pay damages resulting from the book’s violent message. Someone must have had a rough hop on pop experience…

Despite the bizarre demand to ban Hop on Pop because it “encourages children to use violence against their fathers,” the Toronto Public Library rejected the request after careful consideration because the story actually advises children against hopping on their fathers.

“The children are actually told not to hop on pop,” reads a recently released report by the library’s Materials Review Committee.

The annual list of patron requests to reconsider material on Toronto library shelves averages about half a dozen. This year, in addition to Hop on Pop, anonymous library users also demanded the following books be banned: the children’s book Lizzy’s Lion the 2012 movie That’s My Boy, starring Adam Sandler, the 1983 romance novel A Kiss, Killing Kennedy by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, and “Complete Hindi,” an adult language learning kit.

The committee rejected all of the requests.

Maybe next year instead of publishing the names of the “shocking and disturbing” books, they should release the names of the anonymous library patrons requesting their removal…

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Sarah Palin’s America: Baptizing Terrorists Since 2001

Sarah Palin Baptizing Terrorists

Speaking at the National Rifle Association (NRA) convention last week, Sarah Palin gave America a taste of what life would be like if she were in charge – and it involves baptizing terrorists via waterboarding.

The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee let terrorists (and the NRA crowd) know how the United States would deal with their enemies if she were president.

“They obviously have information on plots to carry out jihad,” Palin said of terrorists. “Oh, but you can’t offend them, can’t make them feel uncomfortable, not even a smidgen. Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”

First, thank God that’s a hypothetical. Second, that wasn’t even the dumbest thing she said at Saturday’s NRA rally.

According to Palin, baptizing terrorists is a smart solution to the war on terror but creating gun-free zones in schools and other public buildings is “stupid on steroids.

“Maybe our kids could be defended against criminals on the spot if more Mama Grizzlies carried,” she said, firing up the crowd at the Indianapolis convention. “And [the] Obama administration wants you ID’d for that? Well, then go ahead and carry a sign too. A sign that says ‘Yeah, I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.’

Palin also went after Joe Biden’s recent advice to fire in the air to scare off attackers by saying:

“Just aim up in the air – that was his directive, his advice. Well, fine, Joe Squirt Gun, if your rapist is a bird.”

So always carry a gun, kill everyone you see as a threat, and baptize terrorists whenever the opportunity presents itself. Got it.

But Sarah Palin’s not the only one going gun crazy these days. The great state of Georgia just passed one of the biggest expansions of gun rights, dubbed the “Guns Everywhere” bill. The Guns Everywhere bill is exactly what it sounds like. The bill will now allow Georgians to carry firearms in schools, bars, churches, airports and government buildings – basically everywhere. Well, everywhere except the state Capitol. The lawmakers who passed the Guns Everywhere bill don’t want any gun-wielding maniacs coming into their place of work – that would be too dangerous.

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White Supremacist Killer Into Gay Black Hookers. And Other News…

Glenn Miller Black Hookers

Former Ku Klux Klan leader Frazier Glenn Miller, who is accused of killing three people this month at a Jewish Community Center in Kansas, apparently has a thing for black hookers.

Once arrested, authorities then began looking into his past and discovered that in 1986 Raleigh police officers had caught Miller in the back seat of a vehicle, in mid-act with a black male prostitute masquerading as a woman. Miller claims that he lured the man to the meeting with the intention of beating the prostitute, bragging that he had a “violent history of going around picking up ni**ers and beating the hell out of ‘em, particularly ni**er f**gots.” When he was arrested with the transvestite, he claimed he was planning to “whip his ass.” Yes, just as soon as they were finished with the sex act portion of the evening… ABC News

obama-putinThings are still tense on the blurry border of Russia and Ukraine. In the pro-Russian town of Slaviansk, Ukrainian forces took back three checkpoints manned by armed separatists on Thursday, killing five in the process. Russian President Vladimir Putin warned Kiev of “consequences” if the army is used against its own people while Secretary of State John Kerry warned Moscow that if Russia continues to escalate the situation in Ukraine, it would be a “grave” and “expensive mistake,” leaving the U.S. with no choice but to invade impose sanctions. But no matter how tense the situation gets, Obama said he would always have Putin’s back – if he were drowning. At a news conference in South Korea on Friday, President Obama said he would “absolutely” save Putin if he were drowning. “I’d like to think if anyone were out there drowning, I’d save them,” the President said in response to the question. Ok, so his criteria is pretty wide, but it’s still something. Reuters

Barack Obama plays football with a robotIn other Obama news, the president spent his Thursday in Tokyo battling Japanese robots.  Obama’s visit to the National Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation began with the intention of highlighting  the recent renewal of a 10-year collaboration between the two countries in the sciences and ended with him playing soccer with a Japanese robot from Honda. Honda’s humanoid robot ASIMO, which was dressed in an astronaut suit and is about the height of a 10 year-old child, went through a series of soccer drills with the president after he introduced himself in a metallic voice. After kicking some balls around, the president told students, “We saw some truly amazing robots—although I have to say the robots were a little scary. They were too lifelike. They were amazing.” Kind of like drones? Washington Post

RUSSIA-UKRAINE-POLITICS-PUTINAnd in other Putin news, the Russia president believes that the Internet is “a CIA project” that Moscow must “fight” to resist. Huh. Does that mean all the online pictures of Putin shirtless with animals are really just western propaganda? I guess so. Speaking Thursday at a media forum in St. Petersburg, Putin said that the Internet originally was a “CIA project” and “is still developing as such.” To resist that influence, Putin said, Russia needs to “fight for its interests” online. And by fight for its interests online, he means have the Kremlin exert greater control over it. National Post

Charlotte-Bell-michelle-obama-dads-resume-ftrWell, that’s one way to start your job search – send your daughter to the White House! At the White House’s annual “Take Our Daughters to Work Day” on Thursday, an enterprising young girl seized the moment and offered First Lady Michelle Obama her unemployed father’s CV. Charlotte Bell, 10, told Mrs. Obama her dad had been out of work for several years. Apparently he had worked for the Obama campaign in 2012 and has been looking for a policy job ever since. After Michelle and Charlotte spoke, the First Lady held up the document and told the press, “Well it’s a little private, but she’s doing something for her dad, right?” Mrs. Obama took the resume with her when she left the event. Meanwhile, Mr. Bell is eagerly waiting by the phone. ABC News

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PR Fail: #myNYPD Backfires on NYC Police Department

 New York City Police Department

The New York City Police Department learned the hard way that asking New Yorkers to tweet photos of themselves with police officers may not be the best idea.

On Tuesday, the New York City Police Department asked: “Do you have a photo with a member of the NYPD? Tweet us & tag it #myNYPD.”

Little did they know New Yorkers are a cynical bunch and the police department’s public outreach campaign quickly turned into a PR fail.

The twitter call-out did elicit a few family friendly images of smiling police officers, but mostly people were just being dicks about it and posted photos of police brutality and officers asleep on the job.

Screenshot 2014-04-25 21.44.31

Screenshot 2014-04-25 21.44.59

Screenshot 2014-04-25 21.46.04 Screenshot 2014-04-25 21.45.52

#myNYPD became so popular that at one point, the hashtag was trending in the top 10 on Twitter, not only for New York, but in the world. The backlash quickly spread to the Los Angeles police department where #myLAPD began to trend, followed by the Seattle, San Francisco and Denver police departments.

Deputy Chief Kim Y. Royster said in a brief statement Tuesday night that the NYPD is working on “creating new ways to communicate effectively with the community” and stated that the uncensored and open dialogue was good for the city. Yes, it was good for the city. It taught everyone a very valuable lesson: be careful what you ask for on the internet.

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Cliven Bundy Knows “About the Negro” (But Fox Didn’t Until It Was Too Late)

 Cliven Bundy

Cliven Bundy, the Nevada rancher who became a Fox News hero after he refused to pay the federal government for grazing his cattle on federal lands, knows a thing or two about the Negro – and he’s definitely not afraid to say it.

Sean Hannity and the Fox News crew began their love affair with the 67-year-old rancher after a standoff broke out between Cliven Bundy and federal rangers. Bundy had been grazing his cattle on federal lands for two decades without paying the proper fees like all the thousands of other Nevada ranchers do. But Bundy had a good reason not to pay the feds – he doesn’t believe in the United States federal government.

“I’ll be damned if this is the property of the United States. They have no business here,” he said.

Well that settles that! Spoken like a true Fox News patriot! Except the feds weren’t buying it. As armed federal rangers tried to force him off his land, militiamen and conservative pundits rallied by the side, winning the standoff and making him the darling of Fox News. In a two-week stretch this month, Fox News devoted four hours and 40 minutes to Cliven Bundy’s heroic story during late afternoon and evening broadcasts.

But then he kept talking…

In an interview with The New York Times earlier this week, Bundy got to telling people about his views on race relations. Spoiler alert: they aren’t very progressive.

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he began, going on to complain about how he thinks they just sit on their porches all day.

“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton.”

“And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

And all of a sudden Republicans felt the urge to distance themselves from the cattle rancher…

Fox News host Sean Hannity, who led the charge in promoting Bundy’s cause, said Thursday that Bundy’s racist remarks are “beyond repugnant” and “beyond despicable.” And Rand Paul, who had previously expressed support for Bundy, said in a statement, “His remarks on race are offensive and I wholeheartedly disagree with him.”

Meanwhile Cliven Bundy is standing by his statement, saying he’s not a racist but only somebody who spoke his mind, perhaps using politically incorrect language. Perhaps?

When asked to elaborate on his comments, Bundy said he “didn’t really mean it to compare (African-Americans’ current plight) with slavery. I meant to compare it with maybe life on the farm or life in the South, where they had some chickens and the gardens, and they had something to do.”

“They’re not slaves no more. They seem to be slaves to the welfare system.”

Well that sounds much better…  Just give them some chickens so they have something to do other than mooch off the welfare system – says the man whose cattle have been illegally feeding off public lands for two decades.

And as further proof that Cliven Bundy isn’t racist and his comments were taken out of context, the rancher claimed he personally knew a black man.

“He’s been in and out of my home,” Bundy said. “I think he feels welcome as anybody else.”

Well, not anymore…

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Sherpas Go On Strike!

Current Event Cat - Mount Everest Sherpas

After 16 Mount Everest guides were killed in an avalanche last Friday, the rest of the Sherpas have decided to quit the mountain and go on strike.

The Mount Everest Sherpas announced Tuesday that they will abandon the rest of the climbing season to memorialize their 16 colleagues killed in last week’s avalanche.

“We had a long meeting this afternoon and we decided to stop our climbing this year to honor our fallen brothers,” said sherpa Tulsi Gurung.

Well, that and the Sherpas wanted to stick it to the Nepalese government for refusing to offer better compensation to avalanche victims’ families. After the Sherpas discussed going on strike, drumming up a bit of Sherpa publicity in the process, government officials in Nepal finally agreed to meet with them and create a relief fund for those killed or injured.

Originally, Nepal was only going to offer about $413 to families of the dead Sherpas but the Sherpas took this opportunity to demand better rescue and treatment facilities for guides and a higher share of revenue from foreign climbers.

The Nepalese government earns millions of dollars each year in fees for climbing permits and some guiding companies charge up to $60,000 per person. The Sherpas typically make between $3,000 and $6,000 in the three-month Everest climbing season. Not bad for Nepal, but not great considering they have to risk their lives everyday hiking up and down a snowy, avalanche-prone, oxygen-starved mountain.

Meanwhile, about half the teams at Everest base camp are descending amid uncertainty over this year’s climbing season and the fear that they will be stuck on top of a mountain without a Sherpa. And without a Sherpa, there’s a good chance they’ll end up like this:

Mount Everest Victim

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Missouri Mayor Resigns After Anti-Semitic Comments

Anti-Semitic Dan Clevenger

The anti-Semitic mayor of Marionville, Missouri, who “kind of agreed” with the white supremacist accused of killing three people at a Jewish community center, resigned Monday night after the city council voted to begin impeachment proceedings against him.

Mayor Ex-Mayor Dan Clevenger beat the city council to the punch and resigned from office  following outrage over his anti-Semitic comments in support of Frazier Glenn Miller, the former Klansman who went on a Jew killing spree in Kansas City last week.

Clevenger called Miller a friend and said he “kind of agreed with him” on some issues – mainly that Jews are ruining the country. Probably not the best idea to call a racist serial killer your friend, but go on…

“He was always nice and friendly and respectful of elder people, you know, he respected his elders greatly. As long as they were the same color as him,” Clevenger said of the 73-year-old killer.

“Kind of agreed with him on some things but, I don’t like to express that too much.”

Keep going…

“There some things that are going on in this country that are destroying us,” Clevenger told reporters last week. “We’ve got a false economy, and it’s some of those corporations are run by Jews because the names are there. The fact that the Federal Reserve prints up phony money and freely hands it out, I think that’s completely wrong. The people that run the Federal Reserve, they’re Jewish.”

And Clevenger’s views aren’t anything new. Nearly a decade ago, the Marionville mayor wrote a letter to the editor of the Aurora Advertiser.

I am a friend of Frazier Miller helping to spread his warnings,” wrote Clevenger. “The Jew-run medical industry has succeeded in destroying the United State’s workforce.”

“Made a few Jews rich by killin’ us off,” he continued, adding that the “Jew-run government backed banking industry turned the U.S into the world’s largest debtor nation.”

Well the bad news (for Clevenger) is that the residents of Marionville don’t want a raging anti-Semite for a mayor (anymore), but the good news is that he can move to the small Spanish town of Castrillo Matajudios – which means Castrillo Kill Jews in English.  Clevenger has until May 25 to bask in small town Spanish anti-semitism. On May 25 the town’s 56 residents will vote on whether to change the name of the town to something a little more appropriate. But even if the vote passes, if the town is JUST NOW considering a name change, I have a feeling Dan Clevenger will fit in nicely.

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Racist Easter Eggs

Current Event Cat - Easter Eggs

Easter eggs may come and go but racist messages can last forever.

While most kids spent their Easter weekend stuffing their faces with chocolate eggs, the children in one Virginia neighborhood were learning about white genocide.

Parents in Henrico County, Virginia were outraged during their Easter Sunday egg hunt when they discovered that Easter eggs with hidden racist messages had been left on neighborhood lawns.

The Smiths were having an egg hunt with their 3-year-old son Sunday afternoon at their home when they discovered the offensive eggs.

“My husband noticed the last Easter egg and I knew it wasn’t one that we put out,” Jackie Smith recalled. “We opened it and it’s got the white supremacist stuff in it.

And the hate-filled eggs weren’t contained to the Smiths’ yard. Other neighbors found various notes hidden in plastic eggs saying “Diversity = White Genocide”, “Mass immigration and forced assimilation of non-whites into our lands is genocide”, and suggesting the kids visits websites such as WhiteManMarch.com and WhiteGenocideProject.com.

“We don’t want other kids around here who can read being like, ‘Hey mommy what’s the million man white march or what’s the genocide project?’ Most of us don’t want to explain genocide to our 6-year-olds,” Jackie Smith explained.

Police have canvassed the area and are working with the Computer Crimes Unit to gather more information about the racist Easter egg incident. Apparently the idea for putting racist messages in Easter eggs originated with White Man’s March founder Kyle Hunt, so his followers are looking pretty suspicious right now. I just hope they only put racist messages in the white eggs, not the colored ones – otherwise they’re total hypocrites.

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U.S. Airways Sends Porn Tweet Apology, Then Apologizes

U.S. Airways Tweet

While American Airlines is busy hunting down 14-year-old white girl terrorists, U.S. Airways is sending out pornographic tweets to disgruntled passengers.

When a pissed off passenger took to Twitter to air her grievances about sitting on the tarmac for an hour, U.S. Airways responded with a nice little note… and a picture of some girl getting nosedived by a 777 replica. Oops. Full version available here.

After U.S. Airways realized they had posted a picture of a vagina swallowing a plane, they went into full damage control and deleted the Tweet. Unfortunately for them, it took a full hour for them to realize their pornographic error and by that time it had been retweeted hundreds, if not billions, of times.

US Aiways Apology

U.S Airways claims another user had sent the naked image to the company’s Twitter account and they were trying to flag the image as inappropriate but instead mistakenly included it in a message to a complaining customer. Right…

Meanwhile, now that American Airlines is dealing with teenage terrorist threats and U.S Airways is emerged in some kind of porn scandal, Southwest Airlines has seized the moment and decided to wow it’s passengers with a flight attendant turned comedian. Passengers on the short flight to Salt Lake City, Utah, were treated to a one-woman safety features/stand-up show that ended in raucous applause and cheers. The viral video had more than 630,000 hits by early Tuesday morning.

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Anti-Semitism Strikes in Kansas… And Other News

kansas-jewish-centers-shooting

Three people, including a man and his grandson, were shot dead at the Jewish Community Center and a Jewish assisted-living home in Overland Park, Kansas on Sunday afternoon, the eve of Passover.

Police have arrested 73-year-old Frazier Glenn Miller who is, not surprisingly, a major white supremacist. The former Kansas Ku Klux Klan “grand dragon” fired at five people but his hands must have been a little shaky because he only managed to hit three. Miller yelled “Heil Hitler!” from the back of the police car as he was taken away. Police have declined to say whether the incident is linked to anti-semitism, but considering the attack took place just before the Jewish festival of Passover, Jews were targeted, and the suspect yelled “Heil Hitler”, I’m going to go ahead and assume there was a little bit of anti-semitism there. BBC News

nigeria-violenceA bus station bomb in the Nigerian capital of Abuja during Monday’s rush hour has killed 71 people and wounded 124. The massive explosion ripped through the bus station, leaving the streets covered with blood and body parts. The bombing, which set a new record for the bloodiest extremist attack ever in Abuja, destroyed 16 luxury buses and 24 minibuses and cars – and dozens of people. “I can’t count the number of people that died. They took them in open vehicles. People were running and there was confusion,” said civil servant Ben Nwachukwu. So far no one has fessed up to the attack but all signs point to extremist Islamist group Boko Haram, who has been threatening to attack the capital for a while now. But even though the bus station bomb was a biggie, it wasn’t the biggest bomb of the week – no, that honor was reserved for last night’s Mad Men premiere. The television show only raked in 2.3 million viewers, down from the 3.4 million who tuned in for last season’s premiere. CBC News

Concerns-over-fraudElection fraud? In a war-torn developing country? Yep, looks like it. While it’s still way too early to tell if Afghanistan will face a presidential run-off (they’re slow counters), it is early enough to report on election fraud. Only 10 percent of the votes from the April 5 election have been counted, but the Independent Election Commission has already identified 870 cases of fraud at the polls – which could end up skewing the outcome. While some Afghans played it cool, others decided to go big or go home. In one instance, a member of Parliament forced his way into a polling place at gunpoint and made off with all the ballot boxes. New York Times

Smoking South KoreaSouth Koreans are willing to spend all their money on plastic surgery but they are getting fed up with footing the bill for smoking-related health problems. South Korea’s national health insurance body sued three cigarette makers for $51.9 million in damages for health issues related to smoking. The National Health Insurance Service (NHIS) has said it spends more than $1.6 billion on smoking-related diseases annually. “We believe the NHIS, as it takes responsibility for the health of the public and oversees the insurance budget, has a natural duty to bring this tobacco lawsuit,” said NHIS lawyer An Sun-young. Now they just have to worry about China’s notorious smog drifting over… Bloomberg

France DNAThere’s only one way to get to the bottom of a rape case: mass DNA testing!  And I mean mass. Police in La Rochelle, France are taking DNA samples from more than 500 male students and staff at a school where a girl was raped in a dark bathroom last September. Apparently investigators had exhausted all other leads in the rape case, so police figured mass DNA testing would reveal a match for the DNA traces found on the victim’s clothing. Students and faculty members are not being forced to give DNA samples, but if they refuse it will look awfully suspicious. So far no one has rejected the swab. Toronto Star

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