Archive | October, 2014

Guns Rights Trump Death Threats for Video Game Critic

Video Game Critic 

Feminist writer and video game critic Anita Sarkeesian canceled her Wednesday speech at Utah State University (USU) after the school said it is not legally permitted to block people from carrying concealed weapons into the venue despite a disturbing death threat.

Anita Sarkeesian, a feminist cultural critic who has become a target of harassment by gamers, planned to speak at the school despite email threats of a “Montreal Massacre style attack” until campus police told her that state law allowed anyone with a concealed firearm permit to bring their weapon to the event.

The director of Utah State University’s Center for Women and Gender, along with several other people, received an email promising a mass shooting if they didn’t cancel the speaking engagement. The letter, which claims to be written by a Utah State student, states that “feminists have ruined my life and I will have my revenge”. The writer claims to have “a semi-automatic rifle, multiple pistols, and a collection of pipe bombs” and plans to carry out a “Montreal Massacre-style attack”.

In light of the threat, Sarkeesian requested firearm searches at the venue but was ultimately turned down because of Utah’s relaxed open-carry laws.

“In accordance with the State of Utah law regarding the carrying of firearms, if a person has a valid concealed firearm permit and is carrying a weapon, they are permitted to have it at the venue,” the university said in a statement.

Thinking that angry gamers plus concealed weapons equaled a recipe for disaster, Sarkeesian decided to opt out.

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Meanwhile, the angry little gamer is probably in his room working on his excuse for when his mom catches him trolling around the internet. “You don’t understand, mom! She said stuff about my video games.”

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Texas Hospital Botches Ebola Outbreak

Ebola Opps Texas Hospital

Nurses at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas are making some scandalous accusations about how the facility treated the first Ebola case in the United States.

On Tuesday, several anonymous nurses spoke to reporters in a conference call organized by National Nurses United and complained that the hospital’s sloppy Ebola protocols left workers and hospital systems prone to contamination. One nurse said Thomas Eric Duncan, the first Ebola patient diagnosed in the United States, languished for hours in a room with other patients upon arrival and that officials resisted isolating him. “Oh, you’re coming from Liberia and your temperature is 103? Well just sit over here in this crowded waiting room for a few hours!”

Others accused the hospital of providing nurses with flimsy protective gear while they were dealing with Duncan’s highly contagious blood, vomit, and feces. Plus, Duncan’s lab samples were sent through the hospital’s pneumatic tubes, which nurses say could’ve contaminated the entire system.

Based on this testimony, it was no surprise when the Texas Department of State Health Services confirmed Wednesday that a second health-care worker who treated Duncan has tested positive for Ebola.

The latest infected nurse reported a fever on Tuesday and was immediately isolated – but not before she flew to Cleveland and back. Although this was the day before she felt sick and people with Ebola are not contagious until they exhibit symptoms, the CDC wants to contact all 132 passengers “because of the proximity in time between the evening flight and first report of illness.”

CDC Director Thomas Frieden said that the nurse should not have been traveling on a commercial airline (no kidding) and admitted that the Dallas hospital was still learning how to cope with the Ebola crisis (again, no kidding).

“I wish we had put a [rapid response team] on the ground the day the first patient was diagnosed,” Frieden said. “That might have prevented this infection.”

The infected health-care worker will soon be transferred from the Dallas hospital to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, because clearly Dallas didn’t handle the first case all too well.

On a lighter Ebola note, yelling “I have Ebola” on a plane can lead to trouble of the “I have a bomb” variety. A man on a US Airways flight from Philadelphia to the Dominican Republic reportedly sneezed and joked that he had Ebola. Big mistake. Flight attendants reported the incident and when the plane landed, passengers were told to stay on the plane as crews in hazmat suits came onto the aircraft and whisked away the Ebola joker despite his insistence that “I ain’t from Africa!”

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Texas: Ebola for Some, Abortions for Others!

Abortion Restrictions Texas

While some Texans are busy fearing an Ebola outbreak, others are out celebrating/cursing the latest Supreme Court decision which has blocked vital components of the strict antiabortion laws enacted in Texas last year by Gov. Rick Perry.

The Texas law, which Rick Perry and his fellow Lone Star conservatives say is designed to protect women’s health, required all abortion clinics in the state be “ambulatory surgical centers,” regulated under the same standards as hospitals and forced doctors performing abortions to first obtain admitting privileges at a nearby hospital. The new restrictions effectively shut down all but eight abortion clinics throughout the state – which are all clustered in metropolitan regions in the eastern part of Texas. And by abortion clinics, I mean family planning clinics, which provide a multitude of services to women who otherwise cannot afford them, of which abortions are only one part.

But now, in a 6-3 ruling (Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito opposed, obvs), the Supreme Court has ordered Texas not to enforce parts the law – at least until more appeals can be filed on the larger questions of the Texas law’s constitutionality. The Supreme Court blocked the surgical-center requirement entirely and the admitting-privileges requirement as it applied to clinics in McAllen and El Paso.

“The U.S. Supreme Court gave Texas women a tremendous victory today,” said Nancy Northup, president of the Center for Reproductive Rights. “Tomorrow, 13 clinics across the state will be allowed to reopen and provide women with safe and legal abortion care in their own communities.”

“This fight against Texas’ sham abortion law is not over. HB2 was designed to gut the constitutional protections of Roe v. Wade and half of the state’s clinics remain closed,” she added.

“We’re seeing the terrible impact these restrictions have on thousands of Texas women who effectively no longer have access to safe and legal abortion,” said Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America. “We’re relieved that the court stepped in to stop this, and we hope this dangerous law is ultimately overturned completely.”

Although it’s only temporary, Tuesday’s ruling could lead to access by the millions of women unable to reach the major cities where the few remaining facilities are still open.

But the court’s ruling won’t stop Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, a Republican who is the favorite in next month’s governor’s race, from defending Rick Perry’s restrictive abortion bill to the death – because it’s not like there are more pressing medical crises happening in Texas right now…

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Where in the World is Kim Jong Un? And Other News…

Kim Jong Un

Where in the world is Kim Jong Un? The mystery surrounding the whereabouts of Kim Jong Un, who has not been seen in public since early September, grew even more mysterious Friday after the Supreme leader missed a ceremony to pay tribute to his late father and grandfather on what is a VERY important national anniversary.

Kim Jong Un’s absence and rumored illness has recently fueled speculation that he’d been overthrown in a coup, but the prevailing theory is that the dictator hurt his leg and doesn’t want to appear weak in front the people who worship him. Sources say the injury, possibly related to cheese induced obesity or gout, took place around late August or early September while Kim was inspecting military exercises. Either way, North Korean sources say Kim Jong Un will be Kim Jong Unavailable for at least 100 days. Reuters

Secret ServiceThe biggest threat to President Obama is… internet trolls. More than half of the threats made against Obama are made online, but given the recent missteps of the Secret Service, government officials are now questioning how adept the security team has been at handling them. Lawmakers and private security officials are sceptical about whether the Secret Service can adapt to the new social-media landscape. “I don’t know if they’ve adapted to these new threats,” said Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT), who chairs the House Oversight and Government Reform subcommittee on national security. “The attacks are going to come, no matter what. Are there new and creative ways of detecting them? I’m not convinced they’ve tied those loops.” If the Secret Service can’t stop a man from running with a knife in the White House or prevent an armed felon from getting on an elevator with the president, how can they sort through zillions of social-media postings to determine who is a harmless internet troll and who is a not-so-harmless internet troll with a detailed plan? Washington Post

ISIS militantsThe unnamed war on ISIS and other various terrorist organizations… isn’t going well. According to American intelligence officials, the 46 cruise missiles the U.S. fired last month at a Syrian terrorist cell killed just one or two key militants. The strikes on a compound near Aleppo didn’t do much to deter the Khorasan Group since earlier news reports caused many militants to scatter before the strikes hit, minimizing the missiles’ effect. Meanwhile, ISIS is quickly taking over the Syrian border town of Kobane from the Kurds and are also threatening to overrun a key province in western Iraq. The ISIS invasion has gotten so bad that local residents are fighting back – with tea. Four ISIS militants at a check point in Jalawla, 70 km north east of Baqubah were poisoned by a local resident after he offered them some tea that he had poisoned earlier. Looks like the tea had a higher success rate than the 46 U.S. cruise missiles. AP

Mexico GravesMexi-noooooo! Two weeks after 43 students disappeared in rural southern Mexico after clashes with police, authorities say the suspects have led them to new burial pits and more bodies. Attorney general Jesus Murillo Karam announced on Thursday that the suspects revealed four additional mass graves last weekend in the city of Iguala containing 28 badly burned bodies. Four new suspects were arrested on Thursday, taking the total number of those detained to 34, including 26 police officers. Wait, the police did this? I guess life in Ferguson, Missouri isn’t looking so bad now. Prosecutors attribute the student disappearances to police, who killed six people and wounded at least 25 in two separate attacks in the city of Iguala, after which officers rounded up some protesting students and drove off with them. Police are believed to have turned over the students to a local drug gang that apparently had ties to the family of Iguala’s mayor. Holy Mexican soap opera! BBC News

Ebola Worst Since AIDSEbola is the worst things since unsliced bread AIDS. While speaking before a World Bank forum on the Ebola crisis, CDC Director Thomas Frieden declared that the virus is the worst thing ever – minus AIDS. “I would say that in the 30 years I’ve been working in public health, the only thing like this has been AIDS,” he said, adding that the world needs to work fast to stop the outbreak, which has killed more than 4,000 people, including 200 health workers. Luckily, a prominent “pro-life” Republican in South Carolina has the solution: kill anyone who has Ebola. Unless, of course, they’re a fetus. Todd Kincannon, the former executive director of the South Carolina GOP, took to Twitter to express his views that “people with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately” and “the protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate execution and sanitation of the whole area.” He also blames the spread of Ebola on the people of Africa for: “Eating each other.” NBC News

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What Poses A Greater Threat to World Peace: ISIS or America?

Harvard ISIS Threat

According to Fox News, neither. The greatest threat to world peace is a “bunch of snot-nosed brats” from Harvard.

Several Harvard students were asked by Campus Reform’s Caleb Bonham whether the U.S. or ISIS pose the greater threat to world peace.

“It’s America. America’s making decisions that are much more likely to affect the world,” one student said.

“As a Western civilization, we’re to blame for a lot of the problems that we’re facing now,” one student said during the interview. “I don’t think anyone would argue that we didn’t create the problem of ISIS, ourselves.”

“American imperialism and our protection of oil interests in the Middle East are destabilizing the region,” another added.

The Fox Outnumbered hosts were shocked and appalled by the students’ answers, with their responses ranging from disbelief to rage to simply mocking the students with snobby British accents (see reactions here). Clearly these kids do NOT SUPPORT OUR TROOPS and clearly they have fake British accents because apparently that’s a thing among rich unpatriotic anti-American brats?

The guest judge, country star John Rich, who sporting a cowboy hat (presumably to lend credibility to his thoughts), was especially outraged at the anti-American sentiment he was hearing.

“These are obviously kids that don’t know somebody who’s serving. They don’t have anybody in their family that’s ever taught them about this country and what the DNA of our country is about,” said Rich, who added that his grandfather served in WWII and his father taught him about the importance of saying the Pledge of Allegiance each morning.

Now, the hosts over at Outnumbered were quick to point out that America is by no means perfect (although it comes pretty close) and it’s perfectly acceptable to criticize your country. Unless they disagree even in the slightest with that criticism – then you’re just a snot-nosed brat who hates the troops. Next.

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Dallas Ebola Patient Dies

Current Event Cat - Hazmat Ebola

Texas Health Presbyterian announced on Wednesday that Thomas Eric Duncan, the first person to be diagnosed with Ebola within the United States, has died.

Duncan, who caught the virus in his native Liberia while helping an infected, pregnant neighbor get to the hospital, was being kept in isolation in a Dallas hospital and receiving experimental drugs – which clearly didn’t work. The 42-year-old, who was visiting Texas to marry his baby mama, is the first of five patients treated for Ebola in the U.S. to have succumbed to the disease.

Now that the deadly virus has hit U.S. soil, it’s time to get serious. The Department of Homeland Security has ordered agents at airports and other ports to put in place new screenings for Ebola for passengers from West Africa, including taking temperatures of passengers. Beginning next week, passengers at Washington Dulles International, Kennedy Airport, O’Hare International, Hartsfield-Jackson International and Newark Liberty International will be screened and questioned by airport authorities.

While officials in the U.S. are making sure Ebola infected bodies stay out, workers in Sierra Leone are threatening to pile them up. Burial workers in charge of putting the bodies of Ebola victims in the ground have gone on strike, claiming they have not been given hazard pay by the government.

“We cannot bury them because we are risking our lives and those in charge are depriving us of our money,” one team member said.

Another declared that, “We don’t even care if dead bodies litter all over the city. All we want is our money. We have been stigmatized in our communities, so let the government try to pay us our money.”

So now there are Ebola corpses rotting in the sun? That can’t be good…

The CDC estimates that worldwide, nearly 3,500 people have died from the virus. The Sierra Leone strike could make the outbreak even worse as dead bodies begin to pile up. Maybe this is a job for the 4,000 U.S. troops Obama pledged to send over?

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The Rules According to ISIS

Journalist rules

After beheading two American journalists, ISIS forces in Deir Ezzor, Syria, have issued 11 rules to journalists who want to report from the region while avoiding being abducted and killed.

The 11 golden rules, all said to be non-negotiable, were established directly by ISIS for any journalists “who wish to continue working in the governorate.” Unsurprisingly, the rules are pretty damn restrictive. Among the conditions, journalists must swear allegiance as “subjects of the Islamic State” and no journalist is to publish any piece of work without first getting approval from the ISIS media office.

Although the vast majority of foreign journalists have already fled ISIS-held regions of Syria and Iraq, here are the full rules for any stragglers left behind:

1 – Correspondents must swear allegiance to the Caliph [Abu Bakr] al-Baghdadi … they are subjects of the Islamic State and, as subjects, they are obliged to swear loyalty to their imam.

2 – Their work will be under the exclusive supervision of the Isis media offices.

3 – Journalists can work directly with international news agencies (such as Reuters, AFP and AP), but they are to avoid all international and local satellite TV channels. They are forbidden to provide any exclusive material or have any contact (sound or image) with them in any capacity.

4 – Journalists are forbidden to work in any way with the TV channels placed on the blacklist of channels that fight against Islamic countries (such as Al-Arabiya, Al Jazeera and Orient). Violators will be held accountable.

5 – Journalists are allowed to cover events in the governorate with either written or still images without having to refer back to the Isis media office. All published pieces and photos must carry the journalist’s and photographer’s names.

6 – Journalists are not allowed to publish any reportage (print or broadcast) without referring to the Isis media office first.

7 – Journalists may have their own social media accounts and blogs to disseminate news and pictures. However, the Isis media office must have the addresses and name handles of these accounts and pages.

8 – Journalists must abide by the regulations when taking photos within Isis territory and avoid filming locations or security events where taking pictures is prohibited.

9 – Isis media offices will follow up on the work of local journalists within Isis territory and in the state media. Any violation of the rules in place will lead to suspending the journalist from his work, and he will be held accountable.

10 – The rules are not final and are subject to change at any time depending on the circumstances and the degree of cooperation between journalists and their commitment to their brothers in the Isis media offices.

11 – Journalists are given a license to practice their work after submitting a license request at the Isis media office.

Wait a minute… let’s go back to Rule #10. The the rules “are not final” and can change at any time? Well, that’s helpful. It might as well read “Journalists may be subject to the removal of their heads at any time for any reason by any member of ISIS.”

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Time to Panic: First Ebola Patient in U.S. Identified  

Rick Perry Ebola

The first case of Ebola inside the United States has been discovered in Dallas, Texas.

The patient, a 40 year-old Liberian man visiting the Dallas area named Thomas Eric Duncan, is currently being held in isolation at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital. Duncan had direct contact with a woman infected with Ebola in Monrovia, Liberia four days before he left for the U.S. to visit family members.

Duncan is the first person to develop symptoms outside of Africa during the current epidemic that has officially killed more than 3,000 people. But will he be the last? Not if the number of schoolchildren he came in contact with are any indication…

Health officials are closely monitoring more than a dozen people who had close contact with the country’s first Ebola victim – including five schoolchildren and three members of the ambulance crew that took him to the hospital. Officials say they are just taking precautions and none of the people who came into contact with Duncan when he was experiencing active symptoms have shown signs in being infected. Yet…

But Americans have nothing to fear, Texas Governor Rick Perry is on the job! Yes, the man who can’t remember three talking points and believes socialized health care is the root of all evil will be tackling the Ebola crisis head on.

“This case is serious, but rest assured that our system is working as it should,” Rick Perry said. “There are few places in the world better-equipped to meet the challenge this patient poses. The public should have every confidence.”

Although hospital officials did acknowledge that the emergency room staff mistakenly sent Duncan home with antibiotics when he initially sought treatment a week ago even though he told them he had recently arrived from Africa… so maybe the public shouldn’t have every confidence, just some confidence.

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Chinese Officials Probe Pigeon Anuses for “Suspicious Materials”

Pigeon Anuses Probed

Pigeon Anuses Probed

With pro-democracy protests raging in Hong Kong, Chinese authorities aren’t taking any chances when it comes to security for its National Day holiday on Wednesday. Unfortunately, for 10,000 pigeons, this means their anuses must be probed.

The 10,000 pigeons, who were released today in celebration of National Day, were first forced to go through an anal security check for suspicious objects.

“Their wings, tail-feathers, even their anuses must be carefully checked,” an unnamed state security officer told the Legal Evening News.

The great pigeon inspection took place at the Yuetan city sports centre in western Beijing on Tuesday evening. The reports did not clarify what “suspicious objects” the inspectors were looking for, but obviously pigeons are known for hiding bombs in their beaks and guns up their bums.

The violated birds were then packed onto a truck and sent to Tiananmen Square in Beijing where authorities inspected them a second time. Once every bird anus had been inspected twice over, the “symbols of peace” were released at sunrise in a ceremony  to celebrate the 65th anniversary of the founding of the People’s Republic of China.

So far, no bird-related terrorist attacks have been reported. Success!

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Kim Jong Un May Be Suffering From Cheese Induced Gout

Kim Jong Cheese

Kim Jong Un’s mysterious month long absence from the public eye has led to speculation that the North Korean leader’s weakness for cheese has caused a bad case of gout.

The Supreme Leader’s health problems are so severe that even the North Korean media, which typically portrays the isolated nation’s leader as indestructible, has confirmed Kim is “suffering discomfort.”

The admission of “discomfort”, along with a video from July showing the increasingly overweight 31-year-old walking with a slight limp, have fueled the rumour mill.

The Chosun Ilbo, South Korea’s largest newspaper, reported that Kim had fractured both of his ankles and had surgery in Pyongyang in the middle of September to treat them.

“I heard that Kim Jong Un injured his right ankle in June after pushing ahead with on-site visits and ended up fracturing both ankles because he left the injury unattended,” the source was quoted as saying.

Well, that makes sense. Whenever you injure one ankle and leave it unattended, the other one will break itself in a gesture of solidarity. But even with two broken ankles, the Supreme Leader trudged on.

“Despite some discomfort, our Marshal continues to come out and lead the people,” said the narrator of a documentary called “Improving the Lives of the People,” showing footage of Kim limping through the Taedonggang Tile Factory last month.

“His whole body is drenched in sweat, but he does not stop working hard, instead showing concern for the health of the other workers.”

Other non-propaganda commenters have guessed that Kim has gout, which runs in the family, as well as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol partially brought on by an excessive cheese habit. The North Korean dictator is known to send representatives around the world in search of high-quality cheese after acquiring a taste for it while studying in Switzerland. In fact, some rumours have gone so far as to suggest that Kim got so fat from eating cheese that his ankles simply gave out.

Meanwhile, the rest of the impoverished country continues to starve.

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