Al-Qaeda Sets Up a Complaints Department

Al Qaeda Sets Up Complaints Department

Al-Qaeda is on a corporate mission to slowly morph itself into Office Space/The Office/some kind of Dilbert cartoon.

Al-Qaeda has long had a reputation for bureaucracy. Papers rescued from the house where Osama bin Laden was killed revealed the detailed / controlling nature of the organization’s correspondence with its various branches. Al-Qaeda’s Office Space-esque behaviour popped up again last week when it was revealed that the terror network required its member to fill out expense reports. This week, the latest news is that al-Qaeda has set up a complaints department.

The al-Qaeda bureaucracy posted a new notice this week saying:

“Any one who might have a complaint against any element of the Islamic state, whether the Emir or an ordinary soldier, can come and submit their complaint in any headquarters building of the Islamic state. The complaint should be in writing, provide details and give evidence. We promise that we will ensure accountability for anyone committing violations, and they will be sent to the Sharia court of Iraq and al-Sham.”

The Iraqi and Syrian branches of al-Qaeda set up these complaint departments in areas where they hold control. Civilians can put in their various complaints about their newly merged Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham, a.k.a. Lebanon and Syria in al Qaeda speak (apparently the militants’ long-term goal is to turn Iraq, Syria and Lebanon into a single Islamist state).

The biggest complaint in the al-Qaeda controlled Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham?

“My wife is a slut”

Via: The Telegraph

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