Brazil Should Have Built a Vagina Stadium… And Other News

Brazil Stadium

Brazil’s World Cup stadium partially collapsed on Wednesday, killing at least three people.

The workers were killed when an evil crane collapsed while lifting a piece of the stadium’s roof into place, causing the roof to buckle and destroy part of the stands. Brazil has been rushing to finish the Itaquerao Stadium in order to meet FIFA’s December deadline to have all 12 venues ready – but now that the crane has cause damage to the exterior many are wondering if they will be prepared. Considering the workers’ union is halting construction for 30 days while authorities investigate, I’m going to go with ‘not prepared.’ Looks like they should have consulted with Qatar first and built an ultra sturdy, vagina-like stadium. A vagina stadium would never kill anyone – minus all those migrant workers who died building it. Globe and Mail

NorveloAmerican women need to start working on a Plan C, because apparently Plan B is ineffective for women over 176 lbs. A European version of the “morning-after pill” called Norvelo (identical to Plan B) has planned to introduce a new warning label, warning consumers that the emergency contraceptive starts to lose potency in women who weigh more than 165 pounds. And after 176 lbs, the pill becomes completely ineffective.  The average American woman weighs 165 pounds, so many of Norvelo’s current users may want to switch to a new type of morning after pill – unless they want to pay a visit to the abortion clinic– or if they live in Texas, deal with a bunch of obese ‘mistakes’ running around in nine months. CBS News

BADSANTA.jpgMerry Christmas: A 62 year-old mall Santa in Massachusetts has been charged with groping an 18-year-old elf. The Bad Santa (not to be confused with Billy Bob Thornton) has been released on $1,000 bail after pleading not guilty to indecent assault and battery for allegedly groping his 18-year-old assistant/elf. Herbert Jones denied pinching the elf’s butt and making suggestive comments but until the case is resolved Hones must stay away from the mall and refrain from putting on his big red Santa suit. TIME

Aids in GreeceGood news: People are not giving themselves HIV in Greece to get benefits. The World Health Organization retracted their claim that half of new HIV cases in Greece were self-inflicted so that the individuals could get benefits of $1,000 a month. WHO blames a “gross editing error” for the HIV statistic that was published in a report last month. The bad news: there are still some people intentionally injecting themselves with the HIV virus to collect state benefits – but not nearly as many as the WHO first claimed. The new statement reads: “Half of the new HIV cases are self-injecting and out of them few are deliberately inflicting the virus.” Few is better than half! The Guardian

Rouhani Music VideoHassan Rouhani: Iranian President…. and pop star? Iran’s President Hassan Rouhani has been featured in an online music video, entitled Nowsafar (New Journey). To celebrate his 100 days in office and presumable to pay tribute to Barack Obama’s 2008 Yes We Can video, Rouhani’s music video shows him delivering a speech at his endorsement ceremony with Iranians singing/speaking his words.  Now that I think of it, the black and white clip is a total rip off of Obama’s music video! The video opens with Rouhani’s speech: “In the presence of the holy Koran and before the nation, I swear to the omnipotent God to safeguard the official religion of the country and the Islamic Republic as well as the country’s constitution.” Ok, it’s a little different from Obama’s… The Atlantic

Hot SauceTime to stock up on Sriracha hot sauce! After a month long battle between Huy Fong Foods and neighbouring residents over the strong smell of the hot sauce, a California judge has ordered that the plant must stop any operations that cause the strong odours and quickly make the changes necessary to limit future smells. Although the judge stopped short of shutting down the factory entirely, it’s a victory for residents of the Los Angeles suburb who complained that the hot sauce fumes were “extremely annoying, irritating and offensive to the senses.” Huy Fong Foods founder David Tran has previously said that he will not change the type of chilli pepper used because it makes for a better hot sauce. Tran’s slogan throughout the controversy, “If it doesn’t smell, we can’t sell!”, has now become “ If it smells, I’m going to jail.” Catchy. USA Today

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