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Good One Greece: Greece Demands €279 Billion in Nazi Reparations

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras And German Chancellor Angela Merkel Nazi Reparations

Running out of schemes to meet their massive debt repayment deadlines (short of implementing market reforms), Greece has decided to play the Nazi card.

In an obvious attempt to dig itself out of its deep debt hole, Greece is demanding €279 billion in World War II reparations for suffering and occupation from Germany.

“We will push for this as much as we can,” Costas Isychos, Greece’s deputy defense minister, said, describing the war reparations as “an open wound” for a country that had suffered one of the most brutal occupations under Hitler.

“We have to close this wound. It is not related, whatsoever, to Greek debt or any policies connected to the memoranda,” he said, referring to the deeply unpopular bailout accords. “They are two very different issues. The left has always been sensitive to this issue.”

While Greece continues to deny the Nazi reparations are linked to the country’s current economic plight and the tough austerity measures Berlin has pressed for in exchange for international aid, the timing is awfully convenient… Just days before Athens is scheduled to make a roughly $487 million payment on a loan from the International Monetary Fund, the cash-strapped country concluded that Berlin owes them $302 billion – a sum bigger than the $260 billion bailout Greece received from the European Union and IMF in 2010.

The German government says the issue was resolved legally years ago and bringing it up now is a “dumb” attempt to distract attention from Greece’s looming credit crunch. Berlin paid 115m Deutschmarks to Athens in 1960 in compensation but now Greece says it did not cover payments for damaged infrastructure, war crimes or the billions of dollars that the Bank of Greece was forced to lend to the enemy.

Good one Greece. What could possibly go wrong with a European nation demanding that Germany pay war reparations for a previous world war?

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Turkish Men Show Their Balls by Wearing Miniskirts

TURKEY-WOMEN-RIGHTS-DEMO

Men throughout Turkey and neighboring Azerbaijan are tweeting images of themselves in miniskirts to protest the death of a young woman who was murdered after fighting off a sexual assault by a minibus driver.

The brutal death Ozgecan Aslan, a 20-year-old student who fought off an attempted rape before her body was burned and dumped in a riverbed, provoked a widespread reaction on social media and spurred Turks everywhere to protest violence against women.

On Wednesday, a group of men in Azerbaijan are believed to have started the hashtag #ozgecanicinminietekgiy, which translates to “wear a miniskirt for Ozgecan.” The hashtag went viral and thousands of men from Azerbaijan and Turkey have since tweeted out images of themselves wearing skirts in honor of women’s (and Scottish men’s?) rights.

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A Facebook page supporting the campaign explains, “If a miniskirt is responsible for everything, if [wearing] a miniskirt means immorality and unchastity, if a woman who wears a miniskirt is sending an invitation about what will happen to her, then we are also sending an invitation!”

On Saturday the protest went from the internet to the streets as hundreds gathered in dresses, skirts and miniskirts to march through Istanbul in solidarity with women who have been protesting violence against women since the recent murder of Ozgecan Aslan.

Miniskirts Protest

Prominent Turkish lawyer and activist Hulya Gulbahar said the skirt protest is “very effective” and the first time women’s rights have been so widely endorsed in Turkey.

“The women’s movement is trying to tell society, ‘My dress is not an excuse for your rape or sexual harassment.’ But society didn’t want to hear these voices. People try to find excuses for rapes and killing. But they didn’t find any in this case, because Aslan was very innocent, purely innocent. The protest shows that a short skirt is not an excuse for rape.”

Women’s rights in Turkey don’t exactly have a stellar rep. Reported sexual and physical violence against women in Turkey has risen 14-fold since 2002. Just last summer a Turkish court ruled that a woman who was attacked and wounded with a knife by her ex-husband had “provoked” him by wearing leggings. And President Recep Tayyip Erdogan hasn’t been much help tackling the issue, declaring last year that he doesn’t believe in men and women’s equality. So if Turkish men have to take to the streets dressed in miniskirts to drive the point home, then they might as well look good doing it:

Turkey Skirt

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ISIS Threatens to Come to Rome… Traffic Permitting

 ISIS to Rome

The Italian government is on high alert after the Islamic State threatened to conquer Rome – with Allah’s permission, of course.

A recent video that appeared to show the beheading of 21 Egyptian Coptic Christians in Libya included balaclava-clad extremists armed with an ominous message.

“Today we are south of Rome,” one masked militant said. “We will conquer Rome with Allah’s permission.”

Since Libya is just a stone’s throw across the Mediterranean Sea from Italy, Italian authorities are playing it safe by deploying 5,000 troops to guard embassies and monuments across the country. I mean, if thousands of refugees can make it across every year (minus a few drownings…), how hard can it be? Which is exactly why Italy’s Interior Minister Angelino Alfano urged NATO to intervene “for the future of the Western world,” adding “ISIS is at the door. There is no time to waste.”

But the Italian people aren’t too worried about the impending threat – because they know how bad Italian traffic is.

Using the Twitter hashtag “#We_are_coming_o_Rome”, Italians have responded to the Islamic State with warnings about traffic, bureaucratic corruption, and a few restaurant recommendations – because why not?

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Besides, could ISIS really do more damage in Rome than Dutch football fans?

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Strauss-Kahn: My Orgies Were Legal… And They Only Happened 12 Times

dominique-strauss-kahn

Former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn is firmly denying charges of aggravated pimping at a trial in northern France.

Strauss-Kahn, best known for firmly denying raping a New York City hotel maid in 2011, is facing pimping charges along with 13 others, including a former police commissioner and a brothel owner nicknamed “Dodo the Pimp.” The once French presidential hopeful, whose career pretty much unraveled amid allegations he raped a hotel maid, is accused of helping procure sex workers for a prostitution ring based at a hotel in Lille. Paying for sex with anyone over 18 is not illegal in France, but it is against the law to procure prostitutes for others or to run a prostitution business.

But Strauss-Kahn insists he is innocent, arguing that he did not organize the orgy parties and he didn’t know the women engaging in anal orgies were prostitutes.

“I committed no crime, no offence,” Strauss-Kahn said when he took the stand Tuesday.

While the ex-IMF head admitted to participating in a few rare sex orgies organized by businessman David Roque in Lille, he said prosecutors had greatly exaggerated the frequency of his “licentious evenings”.

“The prosecution gives the impression of unbridled activity,” he told the court. But, he added: “There were only 12 parties in total – that is four per year over three years.”

Only 12? What a prude.

On the second day if his trial, it was revealed that in addition to sex parties, Strauss-Kahn allegedly brought a prostitute with him to IMF headquarters in Washington, D.C. Once again, Strauss-Kahn denied knowing she was a prostitute – he was simply under the impression that hot young girls dig orgies with fat grey bankers.

If convicted, Strauss-Kahn and 13 other defendants face 10 years in prison and a $1.7 million dollar fine.

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City of Paris to Sue Fox News Over “No-Go Zones”

Paris Sues Fox

Paris is planning to sue Fox News after derisive on-air comments damaged “the honor and image of Paris”.

Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo announced the lawsuit during an interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour.

“When we’re insulted, and when we’ve had an image, then I think we’ll have to sue, I think we’ll have to go to court, in order to have these words removed,” Hidalgo said. “The image of Paris has been prejudiced, and the honor of Paris has been prejudiced.”

Hidalgo is upset with the news channel’s portrayal of life in Paris’ Muslim neighborhoods in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo attacks – but more specifically with its coverage of supposed “no-go zones” for non-Muslims in certain European cities. The network’s morning show, Fox & Friends, even went so far as to produce a map showing the “no-go zones” where non-Muslims are not welcome.

On another Fox show, a guest who was identified as a security expert claimed that in Britain “there are actual cities like Birmingham that are totally Muslim, where non-Muslims just simply don’t go in”. He also claimed that in parts of London, “Muslim religious police” beat and injure “anyone who doesn’t dress according to Muslim religious attire.”

To which British Prime Minister David Cameron replied:

“When I heard this, frankly, I choked on my porridge and I thought it must be April Fools Day… This guy is clearly a complete idiot.”

Critics have accused Fox News of using the controversial “no-go zones” idea to perpetuate a fearful narrative about Muslims. Wait… Fox News is engaging in anti-Muslim fear-mongering?! I can’t believe it! I can totally believe it.

But to be fair, over the weekend Fox News did apologize to “the people of France and England” for mistakenly suggesting that certain European cities have “no-go zones” where non-Muslims are not welcome. And they did make it clear that it’s actually America who has “no-go zones” where Muslims are not welcomed – otherwise referred to as the Fox News studios.

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Rupert Murdoch: Moslems Must Destroy Their Growing Jihadist Cancer

Rupert Murdoch

As France mourns the 17 people who died in last week’s attacks on Charlie Hebdo, Fox CEO Rupert Murdoch decided to give his two cents on the matter.

Referring to the terror attacks in Paris last week, Murdoch tweeted “Maybe most Moslems peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing jihadist cancer they must be held responsible.”

And just in case that wasn’t offensive enough, he added in a separate tweet, “Big jihadist danger looming everywhere from Philippines to Africa to Europe to US. Political correctness makes for denial and hypocrisy.”

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First, spelling Muslim as Moslem is a great way to show people you’re an old, out-of-touch racist. Second, if Rupert Murdoch thinks all Muslims have to apologize for terrorism, does this mean that all white people have to apologize for Rupert Murdoch?

Charlie Hebdo All Is ForgivenThe editors over at Charlie Hebdo have a slightly different take on the issue. The next cover of Charlie Hebdo, due to be published on Wednesday, features Muhammad holding a sign reading, “Je suis Charlie.” The tagline: “All is forgiven.”

Editor-in-chief Gerard Biard told reporters:

“We are happy to have done it and happy to have been able to do it, to have achieved it. It was tough. The front page… was complicated to put together, because it had to express something new, it had to say something relating to the event that we had to deal with.”

Zineb El Rhazoui, a surviving columnist at Charlie Hebdo magazine, said the cover was a call to forgive the terrorists who murdered her colleagues last week, saying she did not feel hate towards the gunmen and urged Muslims to accept humour.

The magazine plans to print 3 million issues just one week after the attack on its offices which left 12 people dead, including the satirical magazine’s editor and four other cartoonists.

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Terrorists Do NOT Like Cartoons…. And Other News

Cartoons

12 people have been killed in a shooting incident at the Paris office of French satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo, best known for its controversial cartoons.

Four of France’s best-known satirical cartoonists, including the magazine’s editor, were among the dead. A major manhunt has now been launched in Paris for three gunmen seen armed with AK-47s and pump-action shotguns. According to eye-witnesses the gunmen were yelling “Allahu Akbar”and “the Prophet is avenged.” Apparently the gunmen took issue with the magazine’s controversial series of cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammed. A killing rampage over some cartoons? Seems like an appropriate reaction… if you’re insane. President Francois Hollande called it a “cowardly murder” and declared a day of national mourning on Thursday. “Nothing can divide us, nothing can separate us,” Hollande said in a brief but defiant address. “We will win. Nothing will make us renounce our determination. Long live the republic. Long live France.” BBC News

Smoking ISISA top figure in Islamic State’s self-declared police force, known for their numerous beheadings, was found beheaded in eastern Syria with a cigarette placed in his mouth and a message written on his body. The Egyptian national’s body was found with signs of torture along with the message “This is evil, you Sheikh”. Residents in areas controlled by Islamic State have said the group has banned smoking in public. “We do not know whether Islamic State killed him or whether it was local people or other fighters,” said Rami Abdulrahman, who runs the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. Either way, someone was clearly displeased with the smoking ban. Lesson learned: you can behead and stone as many people to death as you want, just don’t come between a man and his cigarette. Globe and Mail

IraqA Syrian street magician was reportedly beheaded by Islamic State group militants after his performances were deemed to be insulting to God. The street magician, who was known as “Sorcerer,” was a staple in Raqqa until was whisked away by ISIS militants and later beheaded in a public square. According to ISIS, the street magician’s tricks were anti-Islamic because they were performed through “illusions and falsehood” – plus the Koran forbid the tricks because the time people spent captivated by them could have been better used by going to a mosque. No magic and tons of beheadings? Hmm. I’m starting to think these ISIS guys are dicks… IB Times

Uber GayPDA is a-okay unless you’re gay? Uber is under fire this week after a gay couple accused an Uber driver of throwing them out of the cab for kissing and cuddling during a New Year’s Eve ride in London. The couple claim they were asked to get out of the car and when they asked why, the driver said: “I take gays but they don’t normally do this.” Basically, the driver is fine with gays…. unless, of course, they do something gay. Uber has since suspended the driver as an investigation is pending and released a statement: “Uber does not tolerate any form of discrimination either by our partner drivers or towards our partner drivers.” Business Insider

GilbertsWarning: don’t spoil your children – or they might end up killing you. The founder of a multimillion-dollar hedge fund was found dead from a gunshot wound to the head in his upscale Manhattan home on Sunday. The 70-year-old president of Wainscott Capital Partners, had a gun in his hand in an attempt to make his death look like a suicide – but a suicide it was not. Gilbert’s son, 30-year-old Thomas Gilbert Jr., was charged with homicide and criminal possession of a weapon. The younger Gilbert allegedly killed his father after he cut his weekly allowance by $200. Under the new allowance agreement, Gilbert would have only received $400 for spending money per month in addition to $2,400 per month for rent – and that was enough to push him over the edge. Now, if you gun down your father over a $200 allowance dispute at the age of 30, it’s probably time to reexamine your life. Luckily Gilbert Jr will have plenty of time for self-reflection while he serves out his second-degree murder sentence – unless he pleads “not guilty by reason of affluenza”. FOX News

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Oops, They Did it Again: Russia Invades Ukraine

Russian-Tanks-In-Ukraine-AGain

For what I believe is now the 50th time, Russia has once again invaded Ukraine. Russian military tanks, artillery, air-defense systems, and combat troops have reportedly entered eastern Ukraine over the past two days.

“Across the last two days we have seen the same thing that OSCE is reporting. We have seen columns of Russian equipment, primarily Russian tanks, Russian artillery, Russian air-defense systems and Russian combat troops entering into Ukraine,” Gen. Philip Breedlove, NATO’s top commander, said.

Gen. Breedlove expressed concern that the border between the former Soviet allies was now “completely wide open,” allowing Moscow to potentially bolster rebels in eastern Ukraine who are continuing to pick fights with government troops despite a so-called ceasefire. Nothing says ceasefire like sending in tanks!

The ceasefire agreed by the pro-Russian rebels and government forces more than two months ago is pretty much non-existent now. Amid fears of a return to full-scale fighting, Ukraine is redeploying troops in the east.

And once again, Russia is denying the whole thing. A Russian Defence Ministry official, Gen.-Maj. Igor Konashenkov, said in Moscow that “there were and are no facts” behind such statements and Russia had given up paying attention to such accusations by NATO.  Moscow also denied sending in troops and armour back in August but said some Russians may have been there as volunteers during their holidays and some soldiers may have gotten lost and “accidentally” crossed the border. Come NATO, how many times do they have to say it?! They were tourists taking a family vacation in a tank!!

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Tim Cook Is Proud To Be Gay But Russian Politician Vitaly Milonov Is Even Prouder To Be Homophobic

Vitaly Milonov Bans Tim Cook

Vitaly Milonov, a conservative lawmaker from the ruling party in Russia, has declared that Apple CEO Tim Cook should be given a lifetime ban from entering Russia because he could have AIDS… or Ebola.

Last week Tim Cook revealed publicly for the first time that he was gay in an essay for Businessweek.

“While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven’t publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me,” Cook said.

“Of course, I’ve had the good fortune to work at a company that loves creativity and innovation and knows it can only flourish when you embrace people’s differences.”

But not everyone is so open to embracing differences. Vitaly Milonov, a city legislator from St Petersburg who has gained a reputation in Russia for his homophobic stance and instigation of various anti-gay laws, claims that the Apple CEO would bring “Ebola, AIDS and Gonorrhea” if he was allowed into the country.

“What could he bring us? The Ebola virus, AIDS, gonorrhea? They all have unseemly ties over there,” Milonov said. “Ban him for life.”

Milonov also accused Cook of trickery, saying, “He’s like an artist, who at first popularized himself and then revealed himself to be gay.”

Despite his fear of contracting Ebola from the gays, the Russian politician admitted that he himself was still using the iPhone 6 and had no plans to stop doing so.

“The phone should not be blamed. It was created by Steve Jobs, who was a normal guy. After Jobs’s death another manager took over. They come and go, maybe he will get AIDS tomorrow,” Milonov stated.

Steve Jobs was a normal guy? Well, there goes any credibility Milonov might have had left.

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Current Event Cat of the Day: French Town Bans Clowns

Current Event Cat - France Clowns

Amid France’s bizarre crisis of pranksters dressed up as scary clowns terrorizing its citizens, one town in France has banned all clown costumes for anyone over 13 on Halloween and for a month afterward.

The phenomenon of dressing up as an evil clown and terrifying passers-by has spread across France in recent weeks. These evil clowns are causing all sorts of problems on the streets, scaring children and the general population, sometimes while armed with pistols, knives, or bats, and sometimes beating people up. A clown posse? That’s insane!

Last weekend, according to Agence France Presse, more than a dozen teenagers were arrested while dressed as clowns in the Mediterranean port town of Agde. They were reported to have pistols, knives and baseball bats. And in Montpellier, a man who assaulted a stranger with an iron bar while dressed as a clown was recently sentenced to four months in prison. The man later admitted that he was drunk and inspired by clown prank videos on YouTube. 

As a result of the recent clown terror, the village of Vendargues in southern France has put into place a ban on anyone wearing a clown costume. Mayor Pierre Dudieuzere said the ban is to “avoid any disruption… by evil clowns.. It’s about protecting children by preventing any ill-intentioned clowns from mixing with residents.” So if you see any “strange clowns” on the street, call the police – they can pack up to 200 of them in a squad car.

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