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Current Event Cat of the Day: Canada’s Hockey Team(s)

Current Event Cat - Canada Hockey

Can’t beat Canada at their own game! Canada’s women’s hockey team took the Olympic gold in Sochi Thursday, beating the Americans 3-2 in overtime.

The Canadian team started out a little shaky (ok, a lot shaky) and stayed pretty shaky until the very end. Team USA had a 2-0 lead with 3:26 left in regulation, but Canada ended up tying the game with 54.6 seconds left. Then, in the overtime sudden-death match, Canada’s Marie-Philip Poulin scored the golden goal on goalie Jessie Vetter to win Canadian women’s fourth straight gold medal in women’s ice hockey.

“To be back here with my jersey on and gold medal around my neck is the best thing ever,” said Poulin.

Looks like President Barack Obama owes Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper one case of beer. The two leaders agreed to wager two cases of beer: one for the women’s final game and another for today’s men’s semifinal showdown between Canada and the U.S.

Upon hearing the news after coming back from a trip to Mexico, Harper sent out a tweet to rub the Canadian victory in Obama’s face.

Screenshot 2014-02-20 22.31.44Bets are a great way to spice up sporting events, but Stephen Harper doesn’t need another case of beer. He can just scan his passport at the Canadian beer fridge, like all Canadians do.

team-canada-beer-fridge So here’s a better idea for a bet (taken from a Chicago billboard): Loser keeps Justin Bieber. After all, no one wins with dual-citizenship!

Loser Keeps BieberAt the very least it should make today’s men’s match more interesting…

UPDATE: America keeps Bieber.

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Gay is OK in the NFL… And Other News

NFL Gay OK

Turns out NFL players are more tolerant than the rest of American society.

According to a new survey from ESPN, 86% of NFL players are OK with having a gay teammate – and the other 14% have had too many concussions to even understand the question. The study, which surveyed 51 NFL players (so the margin of error is about a million…), reveals that while most players are fine with a gay teammate, 12 out of 51 wouldn’t shower around them – presumably because they’ve seen one too many prison movies. Gay NFL players (aka Michael Sam – the only openly gay player) will still face some locker room homophobia though. 32 players said they had teammates or coaches who used homophobic slurs last season, and when asked whether an openly gay player would be comfortable in a NFL locker room, just 25 players said yes. Another 21 NFL players said they wouldn’t feel comfortable and five refused to respond – which I’m going to put down as a no. ESPN

JobsIs lifting 900,000 people above the poverty line worth killing off 500,000 jobs? We’ll soon find out in this year’s election battle! Adding fuel to the fiery income inequality debate, a new report by the Congressional Budget Office says that Obama’s proposed minimum wage hike would destroy some jobs but also take people out of poverty. According to their estimations, raising the federal minimum wage from $7.25 an hour to $10.10 by 2016 would move 900,000 people above the poverty line, raise overall real income for all by $2 billion, boost earnings for some 16.5 million people, but potentially destroy 500,000 jobs. Luckily, the 500,000 marginally skilled people who will lose their jobs can easily find new employment in this booming economy. Oh wait… Politico

Russia Hockey Team EliminatedThe Russian hockey team, Putin’s prize Olympic possession, has been knocked out in the quarterfinals. The Olympics are over for Russia, everybody go home. Russia’s early elimination ended with the team getting booed off the ice following their surprising loss to Finland. After the crushing defeat, in which Russia only scored one goal, Russian Coach Zinetula Bilyaledinov told reporters to “eat me alive right now” after one journalist asked him: “What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics …” Well that’s kind of a weird thing to say. Meanwhile, the U.S. and Canada will face off in hockey after beating both their opponents. Toronto Star

Man in Tiger CageA Chinese man decided to sacrifice himself to a bunch of Bengal tigers after seeing how depressing their caged lives were. Yang Jinhai climbed into the Chengdu Zoo tiger enclosure in an attempt to offer his body up as dinner in order to improve the lives of the caged animals. Unfortunately, 27-year-old Yang Jinhai wasn’t the filet mignon he thought he was. The mentally disturbed (obvs) man spent 20 minutes making “exaggerated movements” while trying to tempt the tigers, but the tigers treated him like chopped liver. “I asked them to bite me and let them eat my meat, and so I did not fight back,” Jinhai told a local paper after zoo staff tranquilized the animals and rescued him. Daily Mail

Pussy WhippedPussy Riot got pussy whipped in Sochi today. While the six members of the punk rock band/left-wing organization attempted to perform in Sochi, Cossacks and other security officials moved in to attack them with horsewhips. Video footage shows the Cossacks using their weapon of choice (whips) along with what appears to be pepper spray. The incident lasted less than three minutes, but left one group member on the ground bleeding. The attack comes just a day after Russian police detained two members of the group for 10 hours for what turned out to be no reason. With all the headlines they making at the Sochi Games, I bet Putin is wishing he hadn’t pardoned them after all. BBC News

Kiev ProtestsAfter a violent week of clashes between protesters and police, Ukraine President Viktor Yanukovych has finally agreed a truce with opposition leaders. Was it the 25 deaths? The 240 injuries? The EU’s threat to adopt “targeted measures against those responsible for violence and use of excessive force”? Or President Obama’s warning that “there will be consequences” for anyone who steps over the line in Ukraine? Either way the president has agreed to start “negotiations” aimed at stabilizing the situation and ending the bloodshed. Earlier in the day, Yanukovych sacked the head of the armed forces, but what the protesters really want is for Yanukovych to sack himself. How will Yanukovych negotiate himself out of that one? Stay tuned. Chicago Tribune

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NBC Reduces Olympian Bode Miller to Tears

 Bode Miller Interview

NBC (along with every reality TV show producer) knows that Americans love a good sob story and networks executives love a cheap ploy for ratings. But when NBC’s Christin Cooper interviewed Olympian skier Bode Miller, she may have gone too far with the whole gut-wrenching Olympian backstory narrative.

After tying for a bronze medal in the men’s super-G at the Olympics in Sochi, effectively becoming the oldest medalist in Alpine skiing, 36-year-old Bode Miller geared up for an interview with NBC.

Determined to tow an emotional story line, NBC’s Christin Cooper asked Bode Miller about his feelings about his late brother, Chelone, who died last year at age 29.

“Bode, you’re showing so much emotion down here, what’s going through your mind?” Cooper asked.

Fair enough, Miller had already admitted that there was “a lot of emotion riding” on the race. But then Cooper pressed on, repeatedly pressing Miller for more detailed answers.

“I know you wanted to be here with Chelly experiencing these games; how much does it mean to you to come up with a great performance for him? And was it for him?” Cooper asked.

At this point tears started to trickle down Miller’s face, but Cooper badgered on.

“When you’re looking up in the sky at the start, we see you there and it just looks like you’re talking to somebody. What’s going on there?”

Too much. Bode Miller broke down, falling to his knees in tears. NBC chose to air 75 seconds of Miller crying instead of cutting to Matt Lauer. The interview ended when Miller eventually got up and walked away as NBC’s camera awkwardly lingered on the scene.

Viewers were appalled at NBC’s invasiveness, prompting a series of #NBCFail tweets. But Miller didn’t seem too phased about the interview tweeting, “Please be gentle with christin cooper, it was crazy emotional and not at all her fault #heatofthemoment.”

NBC Sports also issued a statement Monday morning saying:

“Our intent was to convey the emotion that Bode Miller was feeling after winning his bronze medal. We understand how some viewers thought the line of questioning went too far, but it was our judgment that his answers were a necessary part of the story.”

Read: An NBC interview isn’t over until someone is sobbing.  

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Putin Cuddles The Gay Out Of Dutch Speedskater Ireen Wüst

Putin_Ireen Wüst_Speedskater

After winning gold at the Sochi Olympics, Dutch speedskater Ireen Wüst went to celebrate at a party held in her honor. On the guest list? One Vladimir Putin.

The openly gay speedskater told Dutch broadcast NOS that while there she “got a cuddle” from Putin.

“He congratulated me and asked if everything was OK in Russia and I congratulated him on (Russian speedskater) Olga Graf, of course, for her third place (in the 3,000 meters). He was happy to see me, but then he had to leave again. But I cuddled him.

So this was Putin’s plan all along… seduce the lesbian athletes with his rugged manliness. Problem solved. I mean, what women can resist a shirtless Putin? (aside from his ex-wife, of course)

Vadimir-Putin-Shirtless

Putin and Ireen Wüst’s cuddle session did not sit well with the gay activist group, Queer Nation. The organization has condemned the Olympic athlete for “having a cuddle” with the anti-gay propaganda president.

 “The Olympic athletes have said that they will not make political statements during the Games yet that is exactly what Ireen Wüst did,” said Duncan Osborne, a member of Queer Nation. “By embracing Vladimir Putin, a man who has trampled on the human rights of LGBT Russians, political dissidents, artists, undocumented immigrants, and others in Russia, Wüst has endorsed his fascist agenda.”

But while Wüst may have ventured into the dark side, there is one Olympic athlete who may be too much for Putin to handle: 29-year-old Olympic skater-turned-commentator Johnny Weir

While commentating on the Olympic ice-capades for NBC, the former figurer skate, who looks like a strange combination of Pee Wee Herman and Rob Schneider, decided to go full-on flamboyant. While Weir is not officially protesting Russia’s anti-LGBT laws during the Sochi games, his fashionable get-up and refusal to be anyone but his flamboyant self is a big middle finger to Putin. Although I wonder what he would do if Putin went in for a cuddle?

Johnny Weir

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There Are Two People Not Happy About Michael Sam Coming Out: His Dad and Rush Limbaugh

limbaugh_michael_sam

When NFL prospect Michael Sam came out of the closet, he was greeted with hearty congratulations from NFL executives, celebrities, pundits, and even the president. But there are at least two people who are still grumbling over his public proclamation of gayness: Michael Sam Sr. and Rush Limbaugh.

Michael Sam, who if drafted would become the first openly gay active player in the NFL, has received a lot of support over the past year from his teammates and more recently, the public. But winning over his dad is proving to be more difficult.

Last Tuesday, Sam texted his father, Michael Sam Sr., while he was celebrating his birthday at a local Denny’s with the message “Dad. I’m gay.”

The message hit Sam Sr. so hard he couldn’t even finish his meal.

 “I couldn’t eat no more, so I went to Applebee’s to have drinks. I don’t want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment. I’m old school, I’m a man-and-a-woman type of guy,” Sam Sr. said.

I don’t know what’s sadder, a father not accepting his son or celebrating your birthday at Denny’s.

Rush Limbaugh is equally “old school” (read: bigoted) when it comes to Michael Sam’s sexuality. Apparently being the first openly gay college football player is an assault on heterosexuals

Speaking on his radio show on Tuesday, Rush responded to Sam’s coming out by saying:

“Heterosexuality has no political agenda and there is no agenda attached to it. Heterosexuality does not have activists.”

“Heterosexuality may be 95, 98 percent of the population. They’re under assault by the 2 to 5 percent that are homosexual.”

Rush then turned his rage on people who support Michael Sam’s decision while also criticizing football for causing brain damage among its players – including President Barack Obama who has said he would not let a son of his play due to the risk of injury.

“Why is it OK now for a gay man to play football? I thought last week it was stupid to play? Now all of a sudden it’s courageous?” Limbaugh said. “Why is it courageous? Well, because he’s gay. All right. Well, what’s the courage? Where is the courage? Why does being gay make him courageous in entering the NFL?”

I don’t know, but Rush must know what he’s talking about – after all, he’s certainly no stranger to brain damage and after four marriages he must know a thing or two about the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. 

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American Bobsledder Johnny Quinn Breaks Down Bathroom Door

JOhnny Quinn

American bobsledder Johnny Quinn learned the hard way that in Soviet Russia, bathroom stalls you.

The Olympian found himself locked inside a bathroom in Russia’s Olympic Village in Sochi after taking a shower. Luckily, Quinn had two things on his side: the poor quality of Russian construction and his bobsledding skills. So the 6-foot, 220-pound former football player pulled a “Kool-Aid man” and smashed through the door.

“I was taking a shower and the door got locked/jammed. With no phone to call for help, I used my bobsled push training to break out. #SochiJailBreak,” Quinn tweeted, along with a photo of the (cardboard) door in ruins.

Quinn has since posted another photo of the smashed door with a Photoshopped image of himself in the hole looking super tough while wearing bobsleddin’ gear. Heeeere’s Johnny!!!

Here's Johnny

Athletes and journalists in Sochi have been complaining that their accommodations are in rough shape, taking to Twitter to vent their grumbles. But are the shoddy accommodations a result of cutting corners and a lack of preparation or was this Putin’s plan to win all along? Maybe the Russians activated the door lock to keep Quinn from competing, paving the way for RUSSIAN VICTORY! Little did they know that their inferior cardboard doors are no match for 220 pounds of American muscle.

Via: CNN

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Current Event Cat - Olympic OPening Ceremonies

Friday’s Olympic opening ceremonies marked the official start to Putin’s Olympic Games. The decidedly gay display of fireworks and dancing wowed the crowd, highlighting Russia’s history, geography and athletic and artistic achievement. But it wouldn’t be a Russian tribute without a few glitches and a dancing bear.

At the start of the Olympic opening ceremonies, five large snowflakes were supposed to transform into the five Olympic rings – but only four of them made it. The five rings were supposed to join together and erupt in pyrotechnics to get the party started but a technical glitch left the fifth Olympic ring in the dark.  Instead, they were eventually darkened and moved out of the arena, just as Russian President Vladimir Putin was introduced. You know someone’s going to get shot for that later…

Snowflake Fiasco

But the show went on; Russian police sang Daft Punk, a pop band belted out Queen in Russian, a giant bear greeted everyone, the Germans paraded around in their matching rainbow outfits – you know, typical hetero stuff.

Bear

German Uniforms

As for the actual Olympic Games, everything is going great (for the Netherlands…)  The Dutch are leading the pack with 3 gold medals, followed closely by Canada and Norway. Russia is a few behind in 6th place, so Putin will need to dole out a few more angry glares to motivate Russia’s athletes.

Screenshot 2014-02-10 12.58.06

Jamaica, however, is off to a rough start. In addition to a lack of medals, the Jamaican bobsled team lost their luggage on the way to Sochi. The two man team missed their first training session on the Sochi Olympic track after some of their gear was lost en-route to Russia.

“It’s really frustrating,” said Winston Watts, the bobsled driver, who has competed at three Games.

“The sled is here, but our blades that go on the sled aren’t and neither is the clothing that we wear when we slide,” he added.

Yeah well, next time think twice about flying Delta. Seriously.

Via: Sochi 2014

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Super Bowl Blowout

Current Event Cat - Super Bowl

The Super Bowl ended with a humiliating defeat for Peyton Manning and his merry gang of Broncos. The Seattle Seahawks shredded Denver 43-8 in the second-most-lopsided Super Bowl ever.

Seattle’s first NFL championship was good news for Reagan, who won $50 betting on the Seattle Angry Birds (although it did help that the other person picked New England… ). But Denver’s defeat was bad news for Peyton Manning who was recently named the NFL’s Most Valuable Player for the fifth time.

“To finish this way is very disappointing,” Manning said. “It’s a bitter pill to swallow.”

Despite winning MVP this season, breaking the single-season passing records with 5,477 yards and 55 touchdowns, and winning Offensive Player of the Year, Manning will have a hard time living this one down.

Peyton Manning Phones Home

In other Super Bowl news, rumours swirled that boxer Floyd Mayweather bet $10.4 million on the Broncos. Turns out, not even Floyd Mayweather is dumb enough to do that:

“Somebody lied to you all,” Mayweather tweeted. “If I was going to bet, I would have bet on the Seattle Seahawks. I’m the best defensive fighter, it’s only right to go with the best defensive team.”

“I did NOT bet $10 million on the Broncos. As a matter of fact, I didn’t bet at all. I can’t control what rumors that are put out there. … The only thing I would be $10 million on is myself.”

Joe Namath’s ridiculous fur coat also got peole talking at the big game.  The Hall of Fame Quarterback made an appearance for the coin toss wearing an oversized fur coat reminiscent of his younger days. Namath f*cked up the coin toss by throwing the coin in the air before Seattle had a chance to call heads or tails, BUT his coat did prompt an interesting of edition of who wore it better: IKEA Monkey vs. Joe Namath

Namath Ikea

Enough about the Super Bowl – it’s time to get to the most important sporting event of the season. No, not the Olympics – the Kitten Bowl!!!

The first ever Kitten Bowl aired on Sunday afternoon to a crowd of screaming crazy cat ladies. The North Shore Bengals ended up taking home the first ever Kitten Bowl championship with a down-to-the-wire 24-20 victory over the Cedar Cove Cougars. Viewers were allowed to vote for the MVK (Most Valuable Kitten) and it ended in a tie between Snowball and Ferrell Owens. Congrats on your first Su-purrrrr Bowl guys!

Kitten Bowl

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Forget The Super Bowl, Forget The Puppy Bowl, This Year It’s All About The Kitten Bowl

KITTEN BOWL YEAH

Are you ready for some football kittenball??? On February 2 the Hallmark Channel will launch the first ever Kitten Bowl – the cat lovers’ answer to the Puppy Bowl.

For years, Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl has dominated the “cute animals playing football” market, but not anymore. This year the Hallmark Channel, with the help of host Beth Stern, will blow those dogs out of the water.

According to the official Kitten Bowl website, Kitten Bowl sounds fantastic:

“Kitten Bowl” is the greatest feline showdown in cable television history.  The competition will consist of two preliminary playoffs and a championship match. Along with basic obstacle courses of hurdles, tunnels, hoops, jumps, weave poles, lasers, lures and toys on strings, “Kitten Bowl” will feature clever locker room strategies, player profiles and “interviews,” and camera work and audio recordings from the athletes as they play the game!”

Sold! You had me at kitten.

But not everyone is down with the most adorable football line-up ever. Animal Planet, which has been airing Puppy Bowl since 2005, isn’t so pleased about their new competition.

“They’re copycats,” says Brian Eley, vice president for communications at Animal Planet. “And yes, we like our puns.”

If you prefer fuzzy felines over football, nachos, and men in tight pants, tune into the Kitten Bowl on February 2. The inaugural three-hour special event begins at 12pm EST. Who needs Peyton Manning anyway when you have a room full of the most adorable kitten athletes in the world?

And if you’re still not convinced, here is a cluster of football cuteness:

kitten bowl 3

kitten-bowl-cat-photos-017-480w

kitten-bowl

Kitten Bowl 2014

And if that didn’t convince you to tune in, then you should probably get off this site… we’re kind of all about kittens.

Via: Bleacher Report

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Jamaican Bobsled Team Headed to Sochi… Pending Funding

Jamaican Bobsled Team

Feel da riddum! Feel da rhyme! Get on up it’s bobsledding time! Jamaica’s two-man bobsled team has qualified for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, but they’ve run into a few funding issues.

Hopes for a Cool Runnings sequel rose after Winston Watts and Marvin Dixon, the two-man Jamaican bobsled team, qualified for the 2014 Olympics in Sochi.

Overjoyed, the Jamaican Olympic Committee tweeted the celebratory news on Saturday:

Screenshot 2014-01-19 18.42.37

But despite the celebratory mood, the Jamaican bobsled team still has one hurdle to face (other than being a Jamaican bobsled team): money. Sled driver Winston Watts said he is going to try raise $80,000 to cover the expenses of getting to Sochi. Watts was already forced to cut his four-man team in half due to budgetary restrictions

“In truth, we still don’t really know at the moment if we’d even have enough funds or sponsorship to fly to Sochi itself for the Games itself. It all depends. Our families need to be taken care of first. If there’s no funding, who knows?”

“But, I’m one of life’s optimists. I put my heart on the line for this. Any British companies out there interested in sponsorin’ us? Hopefully, the Jamaican Olympic Association will step in and support us now we’ve qualified.” Watts said.

Hopefully. But if they don’t I think there’s a movie out there that could help the team with some fundraising ideas. I believe it’s called Cool Runnings and it’s about some kind of Jamaican bobsled team raising enough money to get themselves to the Olympics…

For example, fundraising initiatives could include a kissing booth:

Or perhaps a catchy tune:

But the real question is, will they be able to make it without John Candy this time?

UPDATE: A group of enthusiastic Jamaican bobsled supporters have raised more than $25,000 in the internet currency Dogecoin – which I assume is Bitcoin’s little, slightly less legitimate brother.

Dogecoin Bobsled

Via: The Guardian

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