Severe Clown Shortage Plagues Nation!

Sad Clown Clown Shortage

The US is facing a clown shortage – and it’s no laughing matter.

The World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns (yes, it exists), reports that membership has fallen from about 3,500 to 2,005 in the past decade. The nation’s imminent clown shortage has been brought on by a decline of interest in clowning, as well as the “advanced age” of its existing clown pool.

In an interview with The New York Daily News, the Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger warned that unless immediate action is taken, the time-honored profession of freaking out little kids and adults alike may soon be a thing of the past.

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Kohlberger. “The older clowns are passing away.”

In addition to old clowns dying off, Kohlberger says it’s difficult getting younger people who develop an early interest clowning to stick with it on the professional level. I can’t imagine why – the money was be pretty good minimum wage at best.

“What happens is they go on to high school and college and clowning isn’t cool anymore,” Kohlberger continued. “Clowning is then put on the back burner until their late 40s and early 50s.”

On the bright side, the declining clown population may cause a drop in the number of people suffering from coulrophobia, a fear of clowns. So the US clown shortage may be a good thing after all – because let’s face it, clowns are creepy and everybody knows it. I mean, what kind of grown man wakes up, puts on white face paint, red lipstick, and giant rubber shoes and DOESN’T think about murdering you in your sleep?

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