Crocodile vs. Portly Accountant… And Other News

Crocodile vs Accountant

Performing crocodile ‘injured by portly accountant’ in Russian circus accident! You can’t make headlines like that up.

A crocodile for the Soviet Circus was injured Tuesday after the company’s 260-pound accountant fell on it. Apparently the winner of the crocodile vs. portly accountant fight was the portly accountant. After the circus’ bus hit a pothole, the accountant fell on top of the Fedya, a two-meter long crocodile who was sleeping peacefully on a blanket. Fedya was feared for dead but after a three-hour vomiting session, he appeared to be doing better. The accountant only suffered minor injuries and was issued a reprimand for not wearing a seatbelt… and probably for eating too much. Independent 

Rob Ford EscaladeEven when he’s locked up in “rehab”, Toronto mayor Rob Ford still finds a way to use up police resources. Ford’s black Cadillac SUV was seized on Tuesday after Bracebridge police pulled over a 36-year-old woman and arrested her for drunk driving – at 2:30 in the afternoon. The police released a statement saying Lee Anne McRobb of Muskoka Lakes Township was the “lone occupant was found to be impaired by alcohol.” A source at the rehab facility where Ford is receiving treatment told CBC News that McRobb had previously been a patient there, but was discharged in the past five or six days. The two have since become Facebook friends. Still no word on why she was driving Rob Ford’s car, but you know Ford’s at a top-notch rehab facility when their discharged patients wind up in the drunk tank. CBC News

Thailand Coup CrazyOk… so it’s definitely a coup now. After declaring martial law on Tuesday, Thailand’s army denied they were staging a coup d’etat. How can it be a coup if the caretaker government remained in charge? Well, things have escalated a bit since Tuesday. Following months of political turmoil, the Thai military has officially announced it has taken control of the country and suspended the constitution, making it the 19th real or attempted coup since the monarchy fell in 1932. Army General Prayuth Chan-Ocha went on television to announce he’s taken over as prime minister, and to make him extra popular, he also imposed a 22:00 to 05:00 curfew, along with a ban on political gatherings and suspension of normal television programming. BBC News

911 Memorial RestaurantA 9/11 restaurant is leaving a bad taste in New Yorkers’ mouths – and it’s not because the food sucks. The Pavilion Cafe, run by Danny Meyer’s Union Square Events, is set to open in the summer in the National September 11 Memorial & Museum. The menu is expected to offer “an array of local, seasonal fare in a relaxing and comfortable environment.” The restaurant insists they’re not opening for commercial reasons but rather to “create a thoughtful experience and bring our hospitality [to the museum and visitors].” The museum’s hospitality was on display Tuesday night when a VIP dinner was held for wealthy donors to the museum. The VIPs partied near the “remains depository,” where 8,000 unidentified body parts are stored, leaving victim’s families a little peeved. “To have a festive occasion on human remains, it’s repulsive, it’s repugnant,” said construction worker John Feal, a Ground Zero volunteer and activist for 9/11 first responders. NY Post

Moose at TimsIn ultra Canadian news, a northern Ontario man found a baby moose on the side of the highway and did what any red-blooded Canadian would do and brought it to Tim Hortons. “She still had the umbilical cord and was still wet when I found her,” Stephan Michel Desgroseillers. “The wolves would have got to her.” After stopping to share a Tim Hortons coffee and some timbits with the baby moose, Desgroseillers eventually took the 25-pound baby moose to the Wild at Heart Animal Shelter where he is currently being cared for. Canoe

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