Knock-Knock Jokes, Murder Trials… And Other News

Knock-Knock

Knock-knock jokes do not go over well in murder trials.

George Zimmerman’s defense lawyer, Don West, learned this the hard way after his knock-knock joke during his opening statement to the jury in the Trayvon Martin case was met with silence.

“Knock-Knock,” West said.

“Who is there?”

“George Zimmerman.”

“George Zimmerman who?”

“All right, good. You’re on the jury.”

Cue awkward silence… Still, a little lighter than the prosecutor’s opening: “Good morning. F*cking punks. These a**holes always get away.” The prosecutor was using George Zimmerman’s own words in an attempt to paint Zimmerman as a “loose-cannon vigilante”. Should make for an interesting trial! Fox News

Obama Climate ChangeNeeding to distract everyone from the NSA scandal (among others), President Barack Obama has laid out a package of measures aimed at curbing climate change. The plan involves regulating carbon emissions from both new and existing power plants and calls for renewable-energy projects on public lands and federal facilities, as well as infrastructure improvements designed to prepare the U.S. for severe weather. Obama told the audience at Georgetown University, “As a president, as a father and as an American, I am here to say we need to act”. The President also pledged to “lead the world in a co-ordinated assault on a changing climate”. But what about those Republican climate change deniers? Obama: “We don’t have time for a meeting of the Flat Earth Society!” New York Times

Cherokee ChildThe U.S. Supreme Court threw out a lower court order requiring a South Carolina couple to give Native American Dusten Brown back his biological daughter the couple had raised since birth. The Court ruled the young girl did not have to be returned to her biological father simply because he was an American Indian. Brown had argued that the Indian Child Welfare Act of 1978, which was written to prevent many Native American families from being split up, entitled him to custody of the girl, who was 3/256th Cherokee. Not much – but still more than Justin Bieber! The Supreme Court didn’t go so far as to grant the couple an adoption, but threw out the South Carolina court decisions awarding custody to the father. Reuters 

Moscow AirportWhere in the world is Edward Snowdiego? Part 2 of …many? According to Vladimir Putin, Edward Snowden is hanging out in a Moscow airport but since he is in the pre-immigration area of the airport, he is technically not yet on Russian soil. U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry urged Russia to “do the right thing” and return Snowden. But Putin doesn’t care. The Russian president said the NSA leaker will not be extradited to the United States because he hasn’t committed any crimes in Russia. And the Cold War 2.0 begins. BBC News

SCOTUSLet the voter discrimination begin! The Supreme Court has been busy striking things down left right and center – and today was no different. SCROTUS SCOTUS struck down a key part of the Voting Rights Act, which mandated which regions with a history of racial discrimination had to get federal approval for changes in election law. By a margin of 5-4, the Court said ‘no thanks’ to section 4 of the 1965 Voting Rights Act and ruled that an updated formula was needed to decide which jurisdictions’ election laws need monitoring. Obama was not happy. In fact, he was “deeply disappointed.” He said in a statement, “Today’s decision invalidating one of its core provisions upsets decades of well-established practices that help make sure voting is fair, especially in places where voting discrimination has been historically prevalent.” CNN

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