Pakistani Taliban Hire New #2… And Other News

Must Find New #2

After a US drone in North Waziristan killed former Pakistani Taliban #2, Wali-ur-Rehman, the terror organization must choose a new #2.

And they already have – out with the old #2 and in with the new #2! Pakistani Taliban militants have chosen Khan Said as their new deputy commander. The position of #2 is a tough one to fill, especially since it’s always the #2 who gets killed in drone strikes – never the #1! But Khan Said has a great resume! It includes (but is not limited to) acting as deputy to Rehman, helping plan a 2011 attack on a Pakistani naval base, and freeing nearly 400 militant inmates in a jailbreak last year. The decision to hire him was unanimous. “There was absolute consensus over Khan Said,” one Pakistani Taliban member said. But… can he properly fill out his expense reports? Via: Reuters

Ricin lettersThe ricin letters keep coming! Someone sent a ricin-laced letter addressed to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg in an effort to stop his anti-gun efforts. The letter never reached Bloomberg but the three officers who did come in contact with the mail experienced diarrhea. Good thing it didn’t reach Bloomberg – that would have been an unfortunate sight watching him testing out New York’s new bike program with diarrhea dribbling down his bike shorts. Another ricin letter was intercepted on Thursday, this time addressed to President Obama. The text in the letter was identical to the one sent to Bloomberg and included the line: “what’s in this letter is nothing compared to what I’ve got planned for you.” Diarrhea? Fox News & Politico

Herpes MAC RihannaA Rihanna concert lasts a few hours, but herpes lasts forever. A Harlem woman claims she got herpes at a Rihanna concert in Brooklyn from lipstick endorsed by the pop-star. The woman is suing M.A.C after a sales rep applied a used tube of “RiRi Woo” to her lips at a pop-up shop during the concert. According to the NY Daily News, she wanted her lips to look hot — not inflamed. Two days after the lipstick was applied, Greenidge developed a cold sore on her lip that her doctor diagnosed as herpes. “I wasn’t able to work for two weeks. It cost me a lot of money,” Starkeema Greenidge, a waitress, told the Daily News. Greenidge claims the herpes has caused her “mental anguish and emotional distress” and the company needs to improve its sanitary practices immediately if it wants to prevent further infections. Or maybe next time don’t let a stranger smear used products on your face at a Rihanna concert… NY Daily News

Sochi CorruptionCorruption in Russia? You don’t say…. Boris Nemtsov, a former Russian deputy prime minister-turned-Kremlin critic, is claiming that Russian officials and businessmen have stolen billions of dollars during the years of preparations for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi. In 2007 Russia announced the Games would cost about $12-billion. Six years later, that number rose to $51-billion. Where did all this money go? Let’s see: there’s the Olympic stadium, three Olympic villages, a ski jump, hockey arenas, Alpine facilities, an Olympic cross-country venue, major upgrades to the city’s roads, bridges, hotels, trains, port, airport and its underlying power grid. Oh and $30 billion to Russian officials who “supervised” everything. National Post 

El Salvador ABortion CaseEl Salvador sounds like a fun place to get knocked up! The Supreme Court of El Salvador has refused to allow a seriously ill pregnant woman to have an abortion, even though her fetus has almost no chance of survival. All abortions are prohibited in El Salvador under any circumstances – no exceptions! The woman suffers from lupus and kidney failure while the fetus is missing part, or possibly all, of its brain. Well, if she makes it through childbirth, she can always flush the fetus down the toilet… BBC News

Newborn baby ChinaThe 22-year-old mother who flushed her newborn baby down the toilet in Jinhua, China, is no longer considered a murderer by police but is considered incredibly stupid. The baby boy was found alive inside a toilet pipe and was saved by rescuers who detached the section of pipe with the infant inside and took it to the hospital. The police are labeling the case an “accident” at this time after believing the umarried mother’s story she did not intend for the child to fall into the toilet. The police said she tried to retrieve the baby with a stick, then decided to flush the toilet to clear away the blood. The baby has now been released from the hospital and taken home by his maternal grandparents. CNN

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