Rounding Out the CPAC Roadshow…

CPAC 2013

The annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), held over the weekend at the Gaylord Convention Center, is a breeding ground of current and future GOP leaders, all coming together to discuss the conservative agenda. Although lately it seems like more of a failed candidate roadshow.


And rounding out the “most interesting” speakers of the weekend:

Bachmann CPACMichele Bachmann

Michele Bachmann bounded onto the stage full of enthusiasm as the music of tween pop starts One Direction blared in the background.

Bachmann ripped into the Obama administration for cancelling the White House tours – something almost every Republican seems fired up about. I guess it’s the only way a Republican can get into the White House these days.

“We are paying someone to walk the president’s dog, but we can’t pay for a veteran to go on a White House tour?”

Aside from that, Bachmann spoke about the Benghazi incident, tried to paint gun control as a women’s issue, and criticized the president’s taxpayer-funded lifestyle of excess.

But mostly she just shouted stuff about love.

“This is our movement, the movement of love, the movement of care. We do this because we love each other and we love our nation!”

Santorum CPACRick Santorum

Rick Santorum gave an emotional speech dripping with social conservatism. No surprise there.

In his ode to traditional values, Santorum blamed America’s problems not on the economy but on moral rot of modern society.

Santorum warned: “for those in our movement, who want to abandon our moral underpinnings, what does it profit a movement to gain the country but lose our own soul?”

Mittens CPACMitt Romney

In his first public speech since the election, Mittens returned to CPAC as a defeated candidate but tried to keep things fairly positive.

“My optimism about America wasn’t diminished by my campaign. In fact, it grew.”

Mittens acknowledged the fact that he probably wasn’t he best person to offer advice on a winning strategy and apolologized for losing the election.

 “I’m sorry I won’t be your president, but I will be your coworker and work shoulder-to-shoulder alongside you.”

Awwww. Mittens.

Palin CPACSarah Palin

There’s nothing like a good ole folksy speech to fire up the crowd, and this year Sarah Palin did not disappoint. Palin took the stage amid a round of cheers, giving a populist speech criticizing the president and Karl Rove but not really offering any specifics on conservative policies.

As usual Palin was critical of the Washington elites:

“We don’t have leadership coming out of Washington, we have reality television.” Has Sarah Palin forgotten about her short-lived reality TV “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”?

And Barack Obama was no exception:

“Mr. President, we admit it: you won. Accept it. Now step away from the teleprompter and do your job.” Palin said as she read from her teleprompter.

Palin also drank a 7-11 Big Gulp during her speech. Either she was sticking it to Mayor Bloomberg or she was afraid of pulling a Marco Rubio.

And just when you thought CPAC couldn’t get any better, she throws in a sex joke about her and her husband Todd.

“He got the rifle, I got the rack.”

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