Sarah Palin’s America: Baptizing Terrorists Since 2001

Sarah Palin Baptizing Terrorists

Speaking at the National Rifle Association (NRA) convention last week, Sarah Palin gave America a taste of what life would be like if she were in charge – and it involves baptizing terrorists via waterboarding.

The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee let terrorists (and the NRA crowd) know how the United States would deal with their enemies if she were president.

“They obviously have information on plots to carry out jihad,” Palin said of terrorists. “Oh, but you can’t offend them, can’t make them feel uncomfortable, not even a smidgen. Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”

First, thank God that’s a hypothetical. Second, that wasn’t even the dumbest thing she said at Saturday’s NRA rally.

According to Palin, baptizing terrorists is a smart solution to the war on terror but creating gun-free zones in schools and other public buildings is “stupid on steroids.

“Maybe our kids could be defended against criminals on the spot if more Mama Grizzlies carried,” she said, firing up the crowd at the Indianapolis convention. “And [the] Obama administration wants you ID’d for that? Well, then go ahead and carry a sign too. A sign that says ‘Yeah, I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.’

Palin also went after Joe Biden’s recent advice to fire in the air to scare off attackers by saying:

“Just aim up in the air – that was his directive, his advice. Well, fine, Joe Squirt Gun, if your rapist is a bird.”

So always carry a gun, kill everyone you see as a threat, and baptize terrorists whenever the opportunity presents itself. Got it.

But Sarah Palin’s not the only one going gun crazy these days. The great state of Georgia just passed one of the biggest expansions of gun rights, dubbed the “Guns Everywhere” bill. The Guns Everywhere bill is exactly what it sounds like. The bill will now allow Georgians to carry firearms in schools, bars, churches, airports and government buildings – basically everywhere. Well, everywhere except the state Capitol. The lawmakers who passed the Guns Everywhere bill don’t want any gun-wielding maniacs coming into their place of work – that would be too dangerous.

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