South Sudan Signs Ceasefire… And Other News

Ceasefire

In an attempt to prove they’re not the least desirable vacation spot in Africa, the South Sudanese government and rebels signed a ceasefire deal after more than a month of trying to kill each other.

The ceasefire calls for an immediate end to all military operations and both parties also agreed not to attack civilians and refrain from rape, sexual abuse and torture. Sounds like a pretty ceasefire deal. 500,000 people have been forced from their homes during the violence, which began when rebels loyal to ousted Vice President Riek Machar tried to stage a coup. So the good news is the conflict is over (for now), but the bad news is nobody cares because Justin Beiber’s DUI is still dominating the headlines. CNN

Kiev UltimatumAfter last week’s anti-protest laws set off days of public demonstrations and violent clashes, Kiev experienced its first fatalities when two protesters died of gunshot wounds. Now the opposition is giving President Viktor Yanukovych 24 hours to dismiss the government, call early elections, and repeal legislation limiting acts of protest. And what happens after 24 hours? Boxer-turned- politician Vitaly Klitschko will attack! “Tomorrow if the President does not respond … then we will go on the offensive,” he said a cheering crowd on Wednesday evening – which was about 24 hours ago…. New York Times

Rape Tribal EldersOh India, you so rapey. India is yet again the scene of another horrific rape – but this time it was ordered by the “court”. On the orders of tribal elders in a village in eastern India, a 20-year-old women was brutally raped in public by as many as 12 men. The court ordered gang rape was apparently punishment for having an affair with a boy from another community – what a slut! In an interview from the hospital, the girl told a reporter, “I had an affair with a man. We were dragged to a gathering where our community headman was present. They told me to pay 50,000 [rupees]. When I said I couldn’t, they brutalized me.” Eleven men have been arrested so far, including the village head, but the victim, who is currently recovering in the hospital, says she lost count of the number of attackers. So to sum up the week in current events, if you’re a women, don’t book a flight to India, if you’re a flamboyant gay man, don’t book a trip to Russia, and if you’re a person who enjoys living, stay the hell away from Syria. The Guardian

Pope InternetFinally something the Pope and I can agree on: the Internet is great! Pope Francis must have discovered cat memes or porn or something because in a statement released Thursday, he called the Internet “something truly good, a gift from God” and hailed its ability to bring people closer together. In honour of the Catholic Church’s World Communications Day the Argentine-born pope said that “unprecedented advances” in technology have made it easier to engage with people of varying religions, thereby “creating a sense of the unity of the human family.” But no Pope talk is complete without a stern warning. The Pope lectured Catholics that the obsessive desire to stay connected can actually isolate people from their friends and family and make it difficult to engage in self-reflection. Tweet your comments to @pontifiex. CBS News

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