Syrian Army Retakes Golan Crossing… And Other News

Syrian ARmy Retakes Golan

Another victory for the Syrian Army! Which is good news Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and bad news for the rebels fighting to oust him.

The anti-Assad rebels briefly seized the sole crossing between Israel and Syria on Thursday morning, leaving UN staff to run around panicking. But in the end the Syrian army managed to push them back and reassert their control over the Golan Heights. Austria has already said it will withdraw its peacekeepers from the Golan Heights because of the fighting, much to Israel’s chagrin. Israel is worried that without UN presence, the Golan Heights, situated on the Israeli-Syrian border, will become the go-to place for attacks on Israelis – either by Islamist extremists fighting for the rebels, or by Hezbollah militants fighting on the government side. BBC News

No KnivesTSA 1 month ago: Knives are fine on planes now. TSA today: No knives on planes! The Transportation Security Administration gave into congressional peer pressure (the worst kind of peer pressure!), and announced that its abandoning a plan to allow passengers to carry small knives, souvenir bats, golf clubs and other sports equipment onto planes. Shampoo and water were still forbidden under the plan though. The TSA faced fierce backlash from lawmakers, airlines, and the public, all of whom didn’t like the idea of small knives on planes. Congress called the plan “dangerous, unnecessary and irresponsible.” Sounds like someone’s still scared of 9/11… Associated Press

Philly Building CollapseBangladesh isn’t the only place with decrepid buildings. On Wednesday morning a building collapsed in downtown Philadelphia, killing six people and injuring at least 14. The building, which was under demolition, unexpectedly fell to the ground, sending debris through the wall and roof of a neighboring Salvation Army. Rescue crews rushed to the scene, digging through the rubble in search of survivors. A 61-year-old woman was pulled from the debris hours after the building collapsed. She is recovery from non-life threatening injuries. CBS News

Google PornNo porn for you! Google is banning porn apps on its new futuristic glasses, Google Glass. Apparently orn apps violate the most recent additions to Google’s developer policies for Google Glass, which ban sexually explicit material. Bad news for MiKandi, the adult app store that just released the first porn app for Google Glass. In unrelated news, projected sales for Google Glass drop by 90% among the male demographic. CNN

Paris JacksonParis Jackson, one of the three Michael Jackson kids, attempted suicide on Wednesday by taking a meat cleaver to her arm and swallowing a bunch of Motrin. The 15-year-old reportedly called a suicide hotline prior to the incident and because of that the cops do NOT believe her intent was to kill herself. The police officers who responded to the 911 think the late Prince of Pop’s daughter really “wanted to be saved”, which is why she called the hotline to make sure EMTs got there in time. TMZ’s source also says “who takes Motrin to kill themselves?” and “she’s into the drama.” Attention seeking or not, if you grew up locked in a house with Michael Jackson and a kid named Blanket, you’re bound to be f*cked up.  TMZ

Trish StaineSome people puke after running 10 miles, others chug Gatorade, and some give birth. After running 10 miles, Trish Staine, 33, an aspiring half-marathon runner, had unbearable backpains. Eventually she went to the ER and realized she was 8 months pregnant.  She was then whisked away to the delivery room where she gave birth to a daughter. The Minnesota mother of three said she hadn’t gained any weight or felt fetal movement in the months before. AND… her husband had had a vasectomy. Staine said her husband has a good sense of humor but “he’s still in shock. Everybody is teasing him.” About him not being the father…? Huffington Post

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