Tag Archives: Bill de Blasio

Voters Head to the Polls in New York, New Jersey, and Virginia

Voters

The vote is ON in three US states as voters head to the polls in the first major round of elections since last year’s Obama-Romney showdown.

Voters in New York City will bid farewell to three-term mayor Michael Bloomberg by choosing his successor while voters in New Jersey and Virginia will decide their next governors.

Here are Reagan’s top picks:

  • New York City Mayor: Bill de Blasio!
  • New Jersey Governor: Chris Christie!
  • Virginia Governor: Who cares? They’re both terrible.

New York City Mayor

Bill-de-Blasio-and-Joseph-LhotaAs a native Torontonian, my only criteria for a mayor of a major city is that they don’t smoke crack and “get hammered on the Danforth,” but New Yorkers may have slightly higher expectations.

Voters can choose between Democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio, a super liberal public advocate who ran Hillary Clinton’s 2000 Senate campaign and has a bi-racial family with their own choreographed dance moves and Joe Lhota, a Republican who ran the city’s public transport authority under Mayor Bloomberg and would NOT stop the subways if there were kittens on the track.

However, it’s not so much a choice as a foregone conclusion. Bill de Blasio is CRUSHING the polls so much that he is worried about depressing voter turnout. The Democratic candidate is leading the polls by about 40 points – so he better get working on that victory party.

New Jersey Governor

Chris Christie FoodIn another electoral race that isn’t so much a race as it is a crushing defeat, incumbent Republican Governor Chris Christie is expected to win re-election in New Jersey handily, despite yelling at every teacher he meets on the campaign trail.

But New Jersey voters aren’t watching to see if Chris Christie, the man who saved the state from Superstorm Sandy, can beat his Democratic challenger, state Senator Barbara Buono, because of course he can – he’s 20 points ahead and she can’t even raise money! No, New Jersey is watching to see if he’ll beat her so badly that he’ll be a shoo-in for the 2016 Republican presidential candidate.

Virginia Governor

Virginia Gubernatorial Candidates Hold Second DebateAnd then there’s Virginia…. The race for Virginia’s next governor is between ultra-conservative, Tea-party loving, state Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli and politically corrupt Democrat Terry McAuliffe who once left his wife and newborn baby in a car for an hour while he attended a fundraiser.

As one voter lamented, it’s like picking between “a heart attack and cancer.” So much for the lesser of two evils… Even two of the state’s major newspapers, the Richmond Times-Dispatch and the Roanoke Times, declined to endorse either candidate. Nevertheless, it seems Virginia voters are siding slightly with Democrat Terry McAuliffe and his questionable business deals – but spoiled ballots may be the true winner of this race.

Via: New York Times & CBS News

Leave a Comment

How To Save A Rhino By Shooting One… And Other News

Black Rhino

Kill a rhino, save a rhino! The Dallas Safari Club is auctioning off a permit to kill an endangered black rhino in Namibia.

Namibia has an annual quota to kill up to five black rhinos out of the country’s herd population of 1,795 rhinos. The rhinos who are singled out to be killed are aging, non-breeding beasts, which tend to kill off younger rhinos – so killing the mean older black rhinos is all part of Namibia’s population management technique. And now one lucky millionaire hunter can join in the fun! The Dallas Safari Club hopes to auction off the rhino kill for a million dollars – the proceeds of which will go towards The Conservation Trust Fund for Namibia’s Black Rhino. “First and foremost, this is about saving the black rhino,” Ben Carter, the executive director of the Dallas Safari Club said. But second and secondmost, it’s about killing the black rhino. Al Jazeera

Obama ScanThis week on Who is the NSA Spying on Now, Spain! The newest revelation to come from the Edward Snowden leaked documents is that the NSA collected data on 60 million phone calls in Spain over the course of December 2012. The news comes after confirmation that numerous world leaders, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel, have had their personal phones tapped. Obama apologized to Merkel but claims he did not know what the NSA was up to. The NSA has so many eavesdropping operations they can’t keep track of them – let alone brief the president on them! But now that Obama (and the rest of the world) knows, it’s time to put a stop to it. According to Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Diane Feinstein, the White House has decided to halt the spying programs targeting allied governments. “Unless the United States is engaged in hostilities against a country or there is an emergency need for this type of surveillance, I do not believe the United States should be collecting phone calls or emails of friendly presidents and prime ministers,” she said. Unfriendly leaders, however, are fair game. Reuters

one-world-trade-centerAnonymous street artist Banksy isn’t making many friends in New York City. After spraying graffiti all over town, Banksy has now insulted One World Trade Center in a rejected New York Times op-ed. Calling the building “biggest eyesore in New York,” Banksy views One World Trade Center as “a betrayal of everyone who lost their lives on September 11th, because it so clearly proclaims the terrorists won. Those 10 men have condemned us to live in a world more mediocre than the one they attacked, rather than be the catalyst for a more dazzling new one.” Ouch. He the went on to say, “It’s vanilla. It’s like something they would build in Canada.” Looks like he’s not making friends in Canada either. The Guardian

NYC MayorThe New York City mayoral debate is being delayed so residents can properly reflect on Hurricane Sandy. For some reason no one noticed this earlier, but the final debate was scheduled for October 29, the one year anniversary of the storm. Both candidates asked for the debate to be moved to Wednesday so they could properly mourn/pull a few publicity stunts in a desperate attempt to win some last minute votes. Democrat Bill de Blasio and the Republican anti-kitten candidate Joe Lhota issued a joint statement saying “this day should be marked with solemn reflection and remembrance.” The New York Times

Putin GayPutin has promised to make gay and lesbian athletes “feel comfortable” at the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Russia has been criticized recently over a new law banning “homosexual propaganda” targeted towards youth, but now Putin wants to make clear that gay athletes are A-Okay. “We will do everything to make sure that athletes, fans and guests feel comfortable at the Olympic Games regardless of their ethnicity, race or sexual orientation,” Putin told the International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach. Although Putin feels most comfortable wrestling bears in the wilderness, so maybe he isn’t the best judge of comfort… CNN

Leave a Comment

Bill de Blasio Doesn’t Have Anything on Jeff Wagner

Jeff Wagner

Bill Thompson is reportedly conceding the Democratic primary, giving Bill de Blasio free reign to go head to head with Joe Lhota, the infamous anti-kitten candidate, in the New York City mayoral race.

If either candidate ever needs a little campaign advice, there’s a new Minneapolis mayoral candidate on the scene who’s showing everyone how it’s done. And he’s got a catchy slogan to boot: Wake the F*ck Up Mineapolis!!!

Jeff Wagner is one of nearly three dozen of candidates running for Mayor of Minneapolis, but the member of the Democratic–Farmer–Labor Party has a unique message and an even more unique way of delivering it.

After creepily emerging from a lake dripping wet in his underwear, Jeff Wagner makes Minneapolis a few solid promises.

“I will not take money from the developers. I will not take money from the political angle. I will not even go to the strip clubs anymore. Wake the f*ck up!”

Jeff Wagner says he would be “cool with” the mayoral salary of $100,000, although I’m pretty sure most of that would still go to the strip clubs, despite his promise. And another $20 might go towards another high quality campaign ad.

But at least Wagner is being inclusive. Unlike Anthony Weiner / Carlos Danger who only shows his dick outline to internet whores, Jeff Wagner is putting his on display for the whole world to see. So wake the f*ck up and vote for Jeff Wagner Minneapolis!

Via: The Huffington Post

Leave a Comment

New York City Mayoral Update: Weiners & Kittens

Bill de Blasio New York City Race

New York City is one step closer to replacing Mayor Michael Bloomberg!

According to unofficial results, Bill de Blasio has won New York City’s Democratic mayoral primary. But even though he won the most votes, the Board of Elections isn’t letting him go that easy. Instead they said they would hold a recount in the Democratic race since de Blasio captured 40.21 percent of the votes cast—hovering just barely above the magic threshold of the 40 percent needed to avoid a runoff.

You know what else would have avoided a runoff? Weiner dropping out of the race. Now it will take another week or so to recount the votes and if de Blasio is under 40 percent, a runoff will be held on Oct.1 with the second place finisher, former city controller Bill Thompson.

However, without Anthony Weiner/Carlos Danger in the race, we wouldn’t have been able to laugh at his dismal 5% finish. And as if acquiring only 5% of the vote wasn’t humiliating enough, one of his sexting partners, Sydney Leathers (who incidentally is now launching a porn career), showed up at Weiner’s campaign party intending to confront him. When Weiner caught wind of her plan, he tried to sneak in through the backdoor of the McDonald’s next door. Being the fame whore that she is, Sydney ran after him, resulting in an awkwardly hilarious McDonald’s chase.

As for who didn’t show up, well, that would be Wiener’s wife, Huma Abedin. Weiner did not mention her in his concession speech and despite being by his side during the height of his scandal, she was noticeably absent from the party.

After the McDonald’s chase and the concession speech, Weiner was driven away from the rally but not before flipping off a bunch of reporters. Great way to end a great campaign!

On the Republican front, Joe Lhota, the former head of the New York City transit service and the official anti-kitten candidate, won the Republican race with 52% of the vote, defeating gazillionaire John Catsimatidis, who had 41 percent of the vote.

Hmm. I’m not too sure about this one. There’s only one thing I care about when it comes to voting – a candidate’s stance on kittens (hence why Stephen Harper is in power in Canada). After train service was stopped in Brooklyn last week to rescue two little kittens on the tracks, Lhota announced he would not have shut down the trains. Big mistake.

Kitten on Subway Tracks

His opponents quickly jumped on this.

Main rival John Catsimatidis reaffirmed his love of kittens and noted that you can’t spell “Catsimatidis” without “cats”.

As for the Democrats, a spokesman says Bill Thompson would “work to protect” the subway kittens in such a situation.

Christine Quinn’s spokesperson says she “would have stopped the trains for the kitties.”

Even Weiner tried to scrounge up a few votes by appealing to cat lovers.

“If Anthony is elected mayor,” his spokesperson Barbara Morgan said, “he will not only stop trains for kittens, he will personally crawl over the third rail to do it.

Luckily Lhota realized his mistake in time to win the primary. At the Republican mayoral debate Lhota insisted he was pro-cat.

I never said I wanted to kill a cat. I’m not the anti-kitten candidate. Let’s talk about the facts, let’s talk about the real facts here. First off, as you all know, I have pets. I love pets. I grew up with cats … We have thousands of cats, literally thousands of cats, that are in the subway system every single day, day and night, scurrying across the tracks and they don’t get killed.”

On second thought, that doesn’t sound very pro-cat at all…. it sounds like helpless kittens will be left to fend for themselves under Lhota’s rule. Can we get Anthony Weiner back??? Please??

Via: BBC News

Leave a Comment