Tag Archives: Colombia

Another Colombian Cocaine Smuggling Fail


A Canadian woman has been arrested in Colombia after trying to board a flight to Toronto with a fake pregnancy bump filled with cocaine.

This wasn’t just some pillow case stuffed under a shirt, this was a realistic looking belly made of latex. Unfortunately (for the smuggler) it wasn’t very realistic feeling. When a policewoman Fake Bumpasked 28 year-old Tabitha Leah Ritchie her how far along she was, she reacted aggressively. Well, that made everyone a little suspicious so they went on to search her. When the inspector went to touch her belly, she realized it unusually cold and hard. That’s when police discovered it was a fake and gave her an emergency C-section (c for cocaine of couse). Inside they found 2 kilograms of cocaine hidden behind a pocket of latex in the fake pregnancy prosthetic. Creative? Yes. Stupid. Oh yes. She should have at least invested in a softer prosthetic with internal heaters.

Needless to say the social worker (yes, the social worker) did not make it on the Air Canada flight to Toronto.  Instead the Torotonian will be charged with drug trafficking, possession and production and could be sentenced to between five and eight years in prison. Good thing too – the last thing Toronto needs is more crack addicts. We already have Rob Ford.

This year, nearly 150 people (a third of whom were foreigners) were caught with drugs at Bogota’s airport, often with creative disguises. Just ask those three nuns that were caught back in May. Colombian officials say 874 foreigners are currently held in the country’s jails, mostly stemming from drug charges. Make that 875!

Via: The National Post

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Colombia Unveils Major FARC Breakthrough


Colombia made a deal with the devil. And by the devil, I mean FARC rebels. And by deal, I mean a land reform deal.

The Colombian government joined forces with the leftist FARC rebels on Sunday to reach a breakthrough deal on land reform, the first step in a peace process launched six months ago.

The land reform deal will create a “land fund” of illegally seized land or underused acres that will be put aside to be redistributed to landless peasants. Land rights and distribution are a big deal in Colombia, where 52% of farms are in the hands of just over 1% of landowners. Between 1985 and 2008 a lot of land was stolen, abandoned or forcibly taken as a result of the conflict.

Under this new redistribution plan, farmers would receive loans, technical assistance and marketing advice as well as legal and police protection. Details about how many hectares would be redistributed remain vague at this point.

The deal was not an easy one to negotiate. A FARC negotiator said both sides had worked for two days without sleep, with both sides wanting to end the 50-year conflict. Both sides have motivation to seek peace.

On the government side, the agreement is seen as the first part of a possible peace accord that would be a major boost for Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos, who plans to seek reelection next year. Ending the conflict is also seen as the key to opening up the country to more investment, infrastructure projects and social programs.

On the FARC side… well, FARC hasn’t been doing so well lately. The rebel group has weakened in recent years and has been basically been kept alive with profits from drug trafficking and extortion. With the original goal of overthrowing the government and installing a Marxist regime, FARC seems to have said “FARC it” and resorted to kidnapping people and dealing drugs. FARC is thought to have some 8,000 fighters, down from about 16,000 in 2001. I guess they realized they should probably step up the peace agreements before their numbers dwindle any further.

Via: The Los Angeles Times

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Sister Act 4: Nuns Smuggle Cocaine in Colombia


Three women dressed up as nuns were caught at a Colombian airport with cocaine taped to their bodies. Sadly, Whoopi Goldberg was not involved.

The fake nuns were asked them to step aside when they arrived on the island of San Andres following a flight from Bogota – a notorious drug trafficking route. Police were suspicious because they appeared nervous and something seemed a bit off about their nun garb. All three broke down in tears when police found more than four pounds of cocaine strapped to each of their legs. I guess they got busted for having bad “habits”. All three were arrested on drug trafficking charges. Their chances of getting away with it are slim to “nun”. Ok, I’ll stop now.

Their first mistake was travelling along a well-known smuggling route for cocaine. Their second mistake was strapping the cocaine to their legs – try something more creative! Any smuggler can just strap things to their legs –and cocaine is an easy thing to strap. This Australian genius tried to smuggle two pigeons across the border in his legs. Pigeons!

Pigeon Pants

Next time the nuns should do what any self-respecting self-loathing smuggler does and stick packets of drugs up their butts. No one is going to anally penetrate a nun – fake or not.

Via: BBC News

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