Tag Archives: Darwin Award

From Facebook to Faceplant: Tourist Falls Off Pier While Checking Facebook

Facebook Pier Faceplant

A Taiwanese tourist had to be rescued by police after accidentally walking off a pier in Melbourne while checking her Facebook page on her phone.

The woman was walking along a bay in Melbourne on Monday night when she got distracted by her Facebook newsfeed and tumbled into the chilly waters (chilly by Australian standards…) A concerned witness quickly alerted the police who then rescued her in a speedboat after about 20 minutes. After all, Taiwanese tourists aren’t a priority – especially Darwin award-winning ones.

“She was still out in the water laying on her back in a floating position because she told us later that she couldn’t swim,” Senior Constable Dean Kelly of the water police said.

Yes, Facebook can be a death trap – especially when walking on a pier and especially when you can’t swim.

“With Facebook, or social media in general as far as we’re concerned, if you’re anywhere near the water just pay attention,” Kelly said. “Especially if you can’t swim.”

Wise words Constable Kelly.

The water police found the tourist floating only 20 metres from the pier, still clutching her mobile phone. Who needs their hands free for swimming when they could be taking some drowning selfies?

Via: The Guardian

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And This Week’s Darwin Award Goes To…. The Edmonton Man Who Nearly Killed His Friend in a Stab-Proof Vest Demonstration

Darwin Award Stab Proof Vest

A 21-year-old Darwin Award recipient from Edmonton was sentenced to six months in jail for wounding his friend was testing out a stab-proof vest.

The Darwin Award winning duo were hanging out at an apartment when Justin Harder, 18, came up with the bright idea to test out the “stab-proof” vest he’d just acquired. Harder was so confident that he vest made him invincible that he begged Calvin Wesley Clackson, 21, to stab him in the chest.

Clackson obliged and stabbed at his friend with a folding knife. But buyer beware: the vest didn’t work as advertised. Instead, the blade tore through the vest and stabbing Harder in the heart area.

“It was a non-stab-proof vest, if you can call it that,” Crown prosecutor Mark Huyser-Wierenga told the court.

So in other words, it was just a vest…

When Clackson saw the blood gushing out, he did what any Darwin Award Winner would do and fled the scene, leaving his girlfriend behind to call 911. Harder was rushed to the hostpial to receive life-saving emergency surgery while Clackson was later picked up by police trying to cash a forged cheque at a Money Mart.

Clackson pleaded guilty to criminal negligence causing bodily harm and was  handed an “extremely charitable” six-month jail sentence for the stabbing.

“This was a pretty serious incident, even though the victim was incredibly stupid, to put it politely,” the judge told court. “It was foolish of the friend to give the invitation, but it was criminally negligent for Mr. Clackson to take up the invitation. Stabbing a person in the heart area, irrespective of a vest or not, is a dangerous activity.”

And the Darwin Award runner up? The man who butt-dialed the guy he was planning on killing while talking about his plan to kill him. 68-year-old Larry Barnett from Arkansas butt-dialed his intended victim while giving a hitman instructions on how to kill him. The victim, who listened in on the call for an hour and a half (it must have been a complicated kill), heard Barnett give the hitman a description of himself and directions to his house. Needless to say, he rang up the police as soon as the call ended and Barnett and his accomplice were charged with conspiracy to commit murder.

Congratulations to the “winners!”

Via: Edmonton Journal 

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