Tag Archives: Hassan Rouhani

Brazil Should Have Built a Vagina Stadium… And Other News

Brazil Stadium

Brazil’s World Cup stadium partially collapsed on Wednesday, killing at least three people.

The workers were killed when an evil crane collapsed while lifting a piece of the stadium’s roof into place, causing the roof to buckle and destroy part of the stands. Brazil has been rushing to finish the Itaquerao Stadium in order to meet FIFA’s December deadline to have all 12 venues ready – but now that the crane has cause damage to the exterior many are wondering if they will be prepared. Considering the workers’ union is halting construction for 30 days while authorities investigate, I’m going to go with ‘not prepared.’ Looks like they should have consulted with Qatar first and built an ultra sturdy, vagina-like stadium. A vagina stadium would never kill anyone – minus all those migrant workers who died building it. Globe and Mail

NorveloAmerican women need to start working on a Plan C, because apparently Plan B is ineffective for women over 176 lbs. A European version of the “morning-after pill” called Norvelo (identical to Plan B) has planned to introduce a new warning label, warning consumers that the emergency contraceptive starts to lose potency in women who weigh more than 165 pounds. And after 176 lbs, the pill becomes completely ineffective.  The average American woman weighs 165 pounds, so many of Norvelo’s current users may want to switch to a new type of morning after pill – unless they want to pay a visit to the abortion clinic– or if they live in Texas, deal with a bunch of obese ‘mistakes’ running around in nine months. CBS News

BADSANTA.jpgMerry Christmas: A 62 year-old mall Santa in Massachusetts has been charged with groping an 18-year-old elf. The Bad Santa (not to be confused with Billy Bob Thornton) has been released on $1,000 bail after pleading not guilty to indecent assault and battery for allegedly groping his 18-year-old assistant/elf. Herbert Jones denied pinching the elf’s butt and making suggestive comments but until the case is resolved Hones must stay away from the mall and refrain from putting on his big red Santa suit. TIME

Aids in GreeceGood news: People are not giving themselves HIV in Greece to get benefits. The World Health Organization retracted their claim that half of new HIV cases in Greece were self-inflicted so that the individuals could get benefits of $1,000 a month. WHO blames a “gross editing error” for the HIV statistic that was published in a report last month. The bad news: there are still some people intentionally injecting themselves with the HIV virus to collect state benefits – but not nearly as many as the WHO first claimed. The new statement reads: “Half of the new HIV cases are self-injecting and out of them few are deliberately inflicting the virus.” Few is better than half! The Guardian

Rouhani Music VideoHassan Rouhani: Iranian President…. and pop star? Iran’s President Hassan Rouhani has been featured in an online music video, entitled Nowsafar (New Journey). To celebrate his 100 days in office and presumable to pay tribute to Barack Obama’s 2008 Yes We Can video, Rouhani’s music video shows him delivering a speech at his endorsement ceremony with Iranians singing/speaking his words.  Now that I think of it, the black and white clip is a total rip off of Obama’s music video! The video opens with Rouhani’s speech: “In the presence of the holy Koran and before the nation, I swear to the omnipotent God to safeguard the official religion of the country and the Islamic Republic as well as the country’s constitution.” Ok, it’s a little different from Obama’s… The Atlantic

Hot SauceTime to stock up on Sriracha hot sauce! After a month long battle between Huy Fong Foods and neighbouring residents over the strong smell of the hot sauce, a California judge has ordered that the plant must stop any operations that cause the strong odours and quickly make the changes necessary to limit future smells. Although the judge stopped short of shutting down the factory entirely, it’s a victory for residents of the Los Angeles suburb who complained that the hot sauce fumes were “extremely annoying, irritating and offensive to the senses.” Huy Fong Foods founder David Tran has previously said that he will not change the type of chilli pepper used because it makes for a better hot sauce. Tran’s slogan throughout the controversy, “If it doesn’t smell, we can’t sell!”, has now become “ If it smells, I’m going to jail.” Catchy. USA Today

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Obama and Rouhani Take Their Relationship to the Next Level… And Other News

Phone Relationship

President Obama and Iranian President Hassan Rouhani took their pen pal relationship to the next level today and spoke ON THE PHONE.

Big step! I’m not even kidding – it’s the first time since 1979 that leaders of the two countries have been in direct contact. Also, it was very difficult to find a picture of Hassan Rouhani on the phone – so you know he doesn’t enter into a phone relationship with just anyone. Anyways, it sounds like everyone wants to nail down this nuke deal. Yesterday Secretary of State John Kerry, Iran’s Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif, and foreign ministers from the U.K., France, Russia, China, and Germany all gathered in the U.N. Security Council’s consultation chamber to discuss what to do about Iran’s nuclear program. If there’s one place to hold a discussion, it’s clearly the consultation chamber! Kerry said the talks went well but more work needs to be done and Zarif said the meeting was “very businesslike” and he was “satisfied”. Ok… so no more nuclear weapons? Haaretz

mcdonalds-healthy“Yum, I’ll have the McDonalds salad with a side of apples and a cold glass of 2% milk,” said no one ever. Despite the supposed lack of demand, McDonald’s is going to start promoting healthy alternatives to fries and sodas. The fast food company will begin offering fruit, salads and vegetables as sides and plans on only advertising water, milk, and juice with its Happy Meals. How Bloomberg of them. Business Insider

Bankrupt_Detroit_0Obama administration officials are off to Detroit today and if they don’t get caught in the crossfire of a gang fight, the administration plans to offer $300 million in federal and private aid to help the city get back on its feet two months after its historic Chapter 9 bankruptcy filing. The money would be spent on rebuilding efforts, transit improvements, and bolstering the police force, but considering Detroit has $18 BILLION worth of debt, I don’t think it will be enough for a Motown comeback. New York Times

KKKThe Ku Klux Klan still exists? Yes – and they’re setting up shop in Gettysburg National Military Park. A Maryland-based KKK group has been granted a permit to hold a rally at the renowned Civil War battlefield. The white supremacist extravaganza will be held on the afternoon of October 5 – so clear your schedule. Park officials said US freedom of speech rules required them to make the site available to any group, even if their views are contrary to those of most Americans. The KKK does have one thing in common with the majority of Americans though – both disapprove of President Obama (albeit for different reasons…) Fox News

RomaFrom what I’ve gathered talking to Europeans, they have a love hate relationship with the Roma – in that they hate them and would love to see them kicked out of their gypsy camps. Well, the French, who are well known for their tolerance (of like-minded French people), have done just that. Police in the northern French town of Roubaix told the Roma to pack up their caravans and get the hell out. According to the mayor of Roubaix, the town requested their removal for reasons “security, hygiene and major inconvenience to local residents”. French Interior Minister Manuel Valls was quite pleased. He had earlier made comments that called for the Roma to be expelled, saying few Roma could ever integrate into French society and “the majority” should be sent “back to the borders”. But he’s not all bad – Valls is willing to offer them free flights (!) back to their countries of origin. BBC News

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Rouhani Recognizes Holocaust… kind of…

Current Event Cat - Rouhani Holocaust

The new Iranian leader, Hassan Rouhani is trying to butter up the Jews by recognizing the holocaust – but Israel isn’t buying it.

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani took another moderate step away from his predessor Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, by calling the Holocaust a “reprehensible” crime committed by the Nazis against the Jewish people. Ahmadinejad famously infamously denied the Holocaust, calling it a “myth”.

Rouhani’s comments come after he was criticized by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for failing to adequately denounce Ahmadinejad’s Holocaust comments. Netanyahu ordered the Israeli delegation to boycott Rouhani’s speech to the UN on Tuesday – partly because of Iran’s denial of the Holocaust and partly because they just hate each other.

So Rouhani sucked it up, figuring he’s already made a few moderate moves – so why not another? But the clever cleric that he is, he spoke in pretty vague terms, and evaded the interviewers question on whether he accepted the Holocaust and the scale of its atrocities.

“I have said before that I’m not a historian and when it comes to speaking about the dimensions of the holocaust, it’s the historians who should reflect on it,” he said, speaking through a translator. “But in general I can tell you that any crime that happens in history against humanity, including the crime the Nazis created towards the Jews, is reprehensible and condemnable.

Whatever criminality the Nazis committed against the Jews, we condemn. The taking of human life is contemptible. It makes no difference whether that life is Christian, Jewish or Muslim. For us it is the same.”

But it just wouldn’t be a speech from an Iranian leader if it didn’t take a small swipe at the Jews and throw in a little support for Palestine.

“This does not mean that on the other hand you can say ‘Nazis committed crimes against a group, now therefore they must usurp the land of another group and occupy it,'” he said. “This too is an act that should be condemned. There should be an evenhanded discussion.”

Meh. I’ll take what I can get, but Israel wasn’t too pleased.  Netanyahu denounced Rouhani’s address as “a cynical speech that was full of hypocrisy.” The Israeli PM didn’t think Rouhani did a great job condemning the Holocaust and isn’t buying his nuclear weapons promise either. Netanyahu said Iran’s strategy was “to talk and play for time in order to advance its ability to achieve nuclear weapons.”

 “We will not be fooled by half-measures that merely provide a smoke screen for Iran’s continual pursuit of nuclear weapons,” Mr. Netanyahu told reporters in Tel Aviv hours before Rouhani spoke at the U.N. General Assembly. “And the world should not be fooled, either.”

Well, we’ll see about that. Obama and Rouhani are pen pals now after all.

Via: The Telegraph & Current Event Cats

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Looking Good! Hassan Rouhani Shows Off His Moderate Side

Hassan Rouhani

Iran’s new president, Hassan Rouhani, and President Obama are on the fast track to becoming lifelong pals. Or at least diplomatic acquaintances…

First, it was revealed that the two are pen pals. Despite their two countries having no diplomatic ties for the last 34 years (see: Argo), the two leaders have been in direct communication through the written letter. Obama even sent Hassan Rouhani a nice congratulatory note after his election victory. Rouhani appreciated the note and said that since then he and Obama have exchanged  “positive and constructive” letters. Ahhh, pen pals.

Second, Iran decided to randomly release 11 prominent political prisoners, including noted human rights lawyer Nasrin Sotoudeh, on the eve of a visit by Rouhani to the United States. Talk about a diplomatic charm offensive! Swoooon.

And now Rouhani went on US television to reassure Americans that Iran will never build any nukes.

Under no circumstances would we seek any weapons of mass destruction, including nuclear weapons, nor will we ever,” Rouhani said in an interview with NBC.

“We have never pursued or sought a nuclear bomb and we are not going to do so. We are solely seeking peaceful nuclear technology.”

Hassan Rouhani seems pretty hellbent on coming across as a more moderate president – although compared to the last president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hitler would seem pretty moderate. At least he acknowledged the Holocaust…

Anyways, it’s great that Rouhani is trying to repair diplomatic relations with the West. Now if only Iran would re-think its position on launching cats into space… Maybe Obama can mention that in the next letter.

Via: The Guardian

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Hassan Rouhani

Current Event Cat - Hassan Meowhani

There’s a new Mahmoud in town and his name is Hassan Rouhani.

A day after the polls closed, Iranian authorities announced that Hassan Rouhani, a cleric and former nuclear negotiator, won the presidential election to replace Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with 50.7% of the votes.

Hassan Rouhani was considered the most moderate of the six candidates – although being the most moderate candidate approved by Iran’s ultra conservative Guardian Council is kind of like being the smartest kid with downs syndrome. Nevertheless, the Iranian people were pretty pumped about the election, erupting into street parties celebrating Hassan Rouhani’s campaign pledges to bring more freedom and better relations with the outside world.

Rouhani thanked Iranians for “choosing moderation” and vowed he would deliver on his election promises. What were his election promises? In a nutshell:

  • Restore diplomatic ties with Iran’s arch nemesis: the United States
  • Free political prisoners and guarantee civil rights
  • More transparency in Iran’s nuclear programs
  • Uranium enrichment activities are still ok – keep them going
  • The Syria situation is Syria’s problem, not Iran’s!
  • Improve the economy (a no brainer!)

Well that’s all lovely but in reality Iran’s president has limited powers. The key policy decisions (mainly in the areas of nuclear weapons, defense and foreign affairs) are generally made by the Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei  – hence his title of Supreme Leader.

Via: BBC News & Current Event Cats