Tag Archives: Iran

Iran To Ease Ban on Women Attending Sporting Events

Women Sporting Events Iran

Now that Iran has agreed to suspend its nuclear program (pending Iranian President Hassan Rouhani’s recent ultimatum that Iran will only sign a final nuclear accord with six world powers if all sanctions against the country are lifted), the country can start focusing on more important things – like softening the ban on women attending sporting events.

Since Iran’s Islamic Revolution in 1979, the government has barred women from attending most sporting events involving men, deeming that mixed crowds watching games together was un-Islamic. Then, in January, the Iranian government eased up a little, saying it would allow foreign women to attend men’s matches, but it was still out of the question for Iranian women. Until now… sort of.

Following criticism from international sport federations and protests by Iranian women and women’s rights activists, Iran’s deputy sports minister, Abdolhamid Ahmad, announced that the government would partially lift the ban on women attending men’s sports matches.

And by “partially”, he means while women and families may be allowed to enter some sports stadiums, the rules won’t change for all matches because some sports are mainly related to men and “families are not interested in attending” them. Plus, some “masculine” sports, like wrestling or swimming, which leave little of the male figure to the imagination, are far too risqué for Iranian women.

And by “attending men’s sport matches”, Ahmad means women will most likely be assigned to special sections in the stadiums and perhaps some mixed seating will be available for families. Iranians consider the regular seating areas too rowdy and “not Islamic enough” for women.

Well, I guess progress is progress, no matter how small – plus, it’s more than Saudi women get. Now, if only Iran could ease up on hanging homosexuals from cranes and stoning women for adultery…

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Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Is A Man With A Plan… To Eliminate Israel

Grand_Ayatollah_Ali_Khamenei

Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has put forth a plan (via Twitter) to wipe Israel off the map, which he believes will be accepted by the international arena. Spoiler alert: I don’t think it will.

In a table posted on Khamenei’s official Twitter account on Sunday, the Ayatollah revealed his 9-step plan to destroy the “fake Zionist regime”.

The Supreme Leader of Iran tweeted a set of answers to what are described as the “key questions”, saying that Israel is guilty of a host of “crimes”. He proposes a referendum to install a completely new government that will decide whether “Jewish immigrants who have been persuaded into emigration to Palestine” are allowed to remain in Israel or will be made to “return to their home countries.”

Screenshot 2014-11-10 12.02.45

The nuclear talks must be going great…

On the plus side, the Ayatollah plan does not appear to involve a violent massacre of Jews. Khamenei is n o monster. He draws the line at a “classical war by the army of Muslim countries” and throwing “migrated Jews at the sea.” However, he did tweet that until his plan can be implemented, there should be “powerful confrontation and resolute and armed resistance” against Israel. Just don’t throw them into the sea.

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Iranian Leader: “Uncertain” if the Holocaust Really Happened

Iranian Leader Holocaust

To celebrate the Persian New Year on Friday, Iran’s supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei decided to piss off a bunch of Jews by once again voicing his doubts about the existence of the Holocaust.

Speaking live from the northeastern city of Mashhad, Khamenei declared that “the Holocaust is an event whose reality is uncertain and, if it happened, it’s uncertain how it happened.”

“In Europe no one dares to speak of the Holocaust, the crux of which is not clear if it is true, or if it were, how it was,” Khamenei, who has called the Holocaust a “myth” many times in the past, said.

Well, “not clear” is a bit of an improvement from “definitely never happened” – so, yay? Plus, President Hassan Rouhani, a self-described moderate, has adopted a somewhat softer line, going so far as to condemn “the massacre of the Jews by the Nazis” – a far cry from former president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s stance on the Holocaust – or should I say “Holocaust”.

But the award for worst the worst Holocaust-related statement this week goes to Russian state television. According to Russian state television host Evelyn Zakamskaya, the Jews totally brought the Holocaust upon themselves.

Zakamskaya and her guest were discussing the Ukraine vs. Russia battle of Crimea. The Kremlin has justified Russian annexation of Crimea by saying that “neo-Nazi” and “fascist” elements have taken over in Kiev – which are apparently supported by the Jews.

Zakamskaya was responding to her guest, who said it was “strange” that Jewish organizations support the Ukrainian protest movement.

“They do not realize that they are, with their own hands, closer to the second Holocaust?” the guest said, insinuating that the protesters were right-wing extremists.

To that, Zakamskaya responded: “They also advanced the first [Holocaust.]”

Huh. Who knew Russia had their own version of Fox News?

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Do the Snowden Documents Prove a US-Hitler-Aliens Link? No.

Aliens Hitler US

Iran’s semi-official news outlet, Fars News Agency, has taken conspiracy theories to the next level by proclaiming that the NSA documents revealed by Edward Snowden prove aliens have been secretly controlling U.S. domestic and also helped out Hitler.

Keeping in mind that Fars News is the same agency that picked up a story from the Onion back in September claiming an overwhelming majority of rural white Americans would rather vote for Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than U.S. President Barack Obama in the upcoming U.S. elections (actually that might be true…), to say that this story should be taken with a grain of salt is an understatement. This story should be taken with a 10 gallon bucket of salt.

Anyways, the latest news from Fars is that the United States government has been secretly run by a shadow government made up of space aliens called “Tall Whites”. The aliens, who have been controlling U.S domestic policy since 1945, are based out of Nevada and had previously run Nazi Germany. After the aliens grew tired of building hundreds of Nazi submarines with their superior technology (which somehow wasn’t enough to win the war), they set their sights on the United States. Now President Obama is just a tool of the aliens, whose ultimate mission is to install a global surveillance system that will, somehow, allow them to finally impose a one-world government and enslave humanity.

And the proof for this alien conspiracy is in the pudding. And by pudding, I mean the nearly 2 million “top-secret documents” revealed by Snowden to Russia’s Federal Security Services. Apparently these documents “confirmed” that the alien race was behind American efforts to create a global electronic surveillance system.

Need more proof than top secret documents that never actually made it to Russia? According to Fars News, former Canadian defense minister Paul Hellyer allegedly signed off on the story. Considering Hellyer is 90 and has previously argued that aliens have visited Earth many times, I suppose he could have, through his old-age fog, glanced at the Snowden documents and somehow confirmed Fars News’ suspicion that U.S aliens are on a path to world domination… I mean politicians have uttered weirder things, right?

Only one this is for sure with this story – we need Mulder and Scully on the case. The truth is out there! But you won’t find it at Fox Fars News.

Via: Washington Post & Fars News

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Nuke Deal Reached

Current Event Cat - Nuke Deal Reached

Break out the champagne – the Iran nuke deal has been reached! Unless you’re Israeli – then you can break out the anger. And unless you’re one of those people who looks more than 6 months into the future – then you can break out the mild enthusiasm because the nuke deal is only an interim pact.

Still, the not-yet-finalized six-month interim nuke deal is a big step towards Iran not blowing everybody up! After lengthy negotiations in Geneva between Iran and the P5+1 countries, the countries reached a temporary nuke deal under which Iran would dismantle its military nuclear capabilities and the other countries would lift some of the sanctions imposed on Iran by the UN, US and the European Union.

And while under the deal Iran will have to give inspectors greater access to its key nuclear sites, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is still a little skeptical about Iran’s compliance. Kerry hopes that the nuke deal will keep Iran’s nuclear program in check until a more permanent deal can be reached, but he acknowledged on Sunday that enforcing the agreement could be more difficult than reaching it in the first place.

“The next phase, let me be clear, will be even more difficult, and we need to be honest about it,” he said.

And while Kerry is taking a cautious approach, there is one guy who isn’t afraid to say the nuke deal blows: Iran’s arch-nemesis, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

“This is a bad agreement,” said Netanyahu’s office, in a statement hours after the nuke deal was signed.

“It gives Iran exactly what it wanted — a significant easing of sanctions and allows it to keep hold of the most essential parts of its nuclear programme.”

“The agreement allows Iran to continue enriching uranium and leaves all the centrifuges in place which allow it to create fissile material for nuclear weapons.”

Israeli Intelligence Minister Yuval Steinitz agreed, saying the nuke deal was likely to bring Iran “closer” rather than further away from building a bomb.

“The current deal … is more likely to bring Iran closer to having a bomb. Israel cannot participate in the international celebration, which is based on Iranian deception and world self-delusion,” he said.

But there’s nothing that a little phone call from President Obama can’t cure (except this). Obama rang up Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu Sunday afternoon to offer his assurances that Israel would be consulted in the Iranian nuclear deal. They might not listen to him, but he’ll be consulted. Obama also assured him that the U.S. “will remain firm in our commitment to Israel, which has good reason to be skeptical about Iran’s intentions.” Although if this is anything like his assurance that Americans could keep their healthcare plans, maybe Israel does have good reason to be worried…

Via: BBC News & Current Event Cats

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Nuclear Deal

Current Event Cat - Iran Nuclear Deal

Despite his best efforts, Secretary of State John Kerry has so far failed to reach an agreement with Iran over its nuclear program.

Representatives from Iran and the so-called P5+1 – the US, UK, France, Russia and China plus Germany have been in Geneva trying to hammer out a deal to limit Iran’s nuclear program and ease up on Western sanctions. On Monday Kerry revealed that negotiators had been “very, very close … extremely close” to reaching a deal with Iran. But sometimes close just isn’t enough – as Kerry learned in 2004 – and the deal fell through over the weekend.

So what happened? Well, Iran is blaming it on the West – namely France. Iran’s foreign minister, Mohammad Javad Zarif, blamed France for “gutting over half” of the U.S. draft.

The U.S, however, is blaming it on Iran. Kerry said Iran backed out of the nuclear deal on the last day of talks. He also maintains that the West was unified when they presented their proposal to the Iranians.

“The French signed off on it, we signed off on it, and everybody agreed it was a fair proposal,” Kerry said. “Iran couldn’t take it at that particular moment.”

While some say the nuclear talks failed because France really wanted tight restrictions placed on the heavy-water reactor being built in Arak and others say they failed because Iran is insisting on formal recognition of its “right” to enrich uranium, both sides are committed to reaching an agreement. Eventually.

Diplomats are expected to meet again Nov. 20 to pick up where they left off and both sides are relatively optimistic.

“We are committed to constructive engagement. Interaction on equal footing key to achieve shared objectives,” Zarif said.

As for John Kerry, he’s just happy Iran is talking.

“We haven’t been speaking in 35 years,” Kerry said. “We just talked more in 30 hours than we have in 30 years prior.”

Via: CBS News 

3-D Guns Are Now A Thing… And Other News

3-D Gun

A Texas company says it has made the first metal gun using a 3-D printer, paving the way for rednecks everywhere to start creating their own firearms. Well this makes me feel very safe.

The Austin company, Solid Concepts, created almost all the parts of the 3-D gun via direct metal laser sintering – whatever that means. While some are concered over the emerging ability to build your own gun, I say c’mon, it’s Texas! You don’t need a 3-D printer – just buy a gun on the internet or take one from a gun show parking lot or find one in your cereal box. Mental patients and felons don’t have time to sit around and assemble a 3-D gun, let alone pay $20k for a 3-D printer – they’ve got places to go and people to kill! CNN

Polio in Syria 2Thanks a lot Syria! After polio made a surprise comeback in Syria after a 14-year absence, health experts are now worried that the disease could reemerge in Europe as refugees come flooding in. Martin Eichner, a professor at the University of Tuebingen, co-authored a letter to the medial journal The Lancet, warning that the vaccine used in the U.S. and Europe offers only partial protection against infection so the disease could enter Europe via unsuspecting refugees and cause an outbreak. The polio virus, which is spread through feces, has no cure – but heightened screening of sewage systems near refugee settlements could help reduce the outbreak. Or sealing off Europe’s borders. Either one. Bloomberg

Kerry and NetanyahuJohn Kerry is taking his sweet time putting together a deal on Iran’s nuclear program. The Secretary of State arrived in Geneva on Friday to talk with Iranian representatives but stressed that no agreement has been reached on Iran’s nuke program and emphasized that the parties still have significant ground to cover. Under the current deal being floated, Iran would freeze expansion of its nuclear program in exchange for loosened economic sanctions. While the West is mulling it over, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has already made up his mind: Iran is evil! Netanyahu said he “utterly rejected” the deal with its arch nemesis Iran and if it went through, it would be a “grievous historic error.”  So to sum up, he’s not a fan. BBC News

I'm SorryPresident Obama is sorry. He’s sorry the health care website is full of glitches, he’s sorry he falsely promised Americans that they could keep their health insurance plans, and he’s sorry about the backlash he’s getting because of it. “I am sorry that they are finding themselves in this situation based on assurances they got from me,” he told NBC News. Well you can stuff your sorries in a sack mister because despite repeated assurances that anyone who likes their health insurance plan could keep them under Obamacare, the administration has apparently known since the summer of 2010 that this was not the case and millions of Americans could lose their insurance under the law. “Obviously we didn’t do a good enough job in terms of how we crafted the law,” Obama said in the interview Thursday. “And, you know, that’s something I regret.” No kidding. NBC News

Canada-Toronto MayorRob Ford needs a vacation and perhaps a little bit of counselling – according to his brother, Councilman Doug Ford, in what must be the understatement of the century. After admitting to smoking crack in a drunken stupor and watching a video of himself utter death threats in a drunken stupor, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is finally ready to potentially start considering the fact that he may have a bit of a drinking problem. Facing increasing pressure to resign, Ford is now considering entering rehab – and by rehab I mean a short vacation from drugs and booze. “If Rob goes away on a vacation, for a week or two weeks, Rob loses 50, 60 pounds, stays on the straight narrows, because he’s a good man … it’ll be tough to beat Rob Ford,” his brother said on Talk Radio 640. Losing 50-60lbs in a week or two without the help of crack? Good luck! The Globe and Mail

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Botched Hanging Survivor Sentenced to Hang for the Second Time

Hanging Out in Iran Again

Iran’s New Motto: If at first you don’t succeed, try hanging him again!

An Iranian drug smuggler somehow survived a botched hanging last week. The prisoner, Alireza M. was found alive by his family in a morgue the day after he was left to hang for 12 minutes and declared legally dead.

“We found him alive again, which made his two daughters very happy,” a family member told Iranian state media.

The man was quickly transferred to a hospital under the watchful eye of armed guards. Iran, being the compassionate country that it is, is nursing the poor man back to health – so they can hang him again.

But not if Amnesty International has anything to do with it (which they don’t)! The human rights group is pressing Iran not to go through with the second hanging attempt.

“The horrific prospect of this man facing a second hanging, after having gone through the whole ordeal already once, merely underlines the cruelty and inhumanity of the death penalty,” Philip Luther, director of Amnesty International’s Middle East and North Africa Program, said in the statement.

Unfortunately Iran loves its executions like it loves its kebobs (i.e. A LOT).

“The verdict was the death sentence, and it will be carried out once the man gets well again,” an Iranian official said.

In fact, Iran is believed to be only second to China in the number of people it puts to death. And nothing gets in the way of a good old-fashioned Iranian hanging. Just last week, relatives of a condemned murderer tried to stop his execution at a prison by hurling a grenade at the crowd. 30 people were injured but they still managed to go through with the hanging!

Via: BBC News

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North Korea Totally Needs a Luxury Ski Resort… And Other News

North Korea luxury ski resort

Forget the crippling poverty, the widespread media censorship and the rampant human rights abuses – North Korea needs a luxury ski resort!

The question is, who in North Korea can afford to go to a luxury ski resort? Kim Jong-un and… well just Kim Jong-un I guess. Maybe he built it so he won’t be tempted to go to Japanese Disneyland and pull a Kim Jong-nam (Kim Jong-un’s infamous half brother who ruined his chances as North Korea’s leader by sneaking into the amusement park). Or perhaps the multimillion-dollar ski resort was built to stick it to South Korea who is hosting the 2018 Winter Olympics. Regardless of the reason, the project suffered a few set-backs (aside from the fact that only 0.02 percent of the population know how to ski) – Switzerland, Austria and France have all refused to sell ski lifts to North Korea because of ongoing sanctions on the sale of luxury goods to the communist state. North Korea called the refusal to sell ski lifts a “serious human rights abuse.” Huh. Washington Post

Dilma RousseffWho’s Brazil accusing of spying on them now? Canada! Brazil’s foreign affairs minister summoned Canada’s ambassador to the country (which is apparently a big diplomatic deal) to discuss Brazil’s spying allegations. Apparently Canada used phone and email metadata to map the communications of Brazil’s Mines and Energy Ministry. Nothing angers Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff more than spying. Rousseff called the alleged surveillance a clear case of industrial espionage. Your response Canada? No comment. CBC News

Smog SportsAthletes are always afraid they’re going to choke, but when they’re playing in China they are literally going to choke – ON SMOG! International athletes at the LPGA golf event and the China Open tennis championship in Beijing have been seen sporting surgical-style face masks – and not just to blend in with the locals. Pollution levels have gone from China’s normal hazardous to super hazardous, prompting athletes to complain about the air quality calling it “a disaster” and “a joke.” CNN

Jeans in IranOk Iran, we get it – you like pants. After Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave an interview saying, “I think if the Iranian people had freedom, they would wear jeans, listen to western music, and have free elections.” Iranians have been quick to prove him wrong – by showing off their pants. Iranians began tweeting pictures of themselves wearing blue jeans and mocking Netanyahu and his backwards impression of Iran. The jeans fiasco took away from Netanyahu’s message that Iran was a wolf in sheep’s clothing and is trying to pull the wool over the United States’ eyes regarding its nuke program. But if he can’t even see their jeans, how can he see their nuclear weapons? The Guardian

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Looking Good! Hassan Rouhani Shows Off His Moderate Side

Hassan Rouhani

Iran’s new president, Hassan Rouhani, and President Obama are on the fast track to becoming lifelong pals. Or at least diplomatic acquaintances…

First, it was revealed that the two are pen pals. Despite their two countries having no diplomatic ties for the last 34 years (see: Argo), the two leaders have been in direct communication through the written letter. Obama even sent Hassan Rouhani a nice congratulatory note after his election victory. Rouhani appreciated the note and said that since then he and Obama have exchanged  “positive and constructive” letters. Ahhh, pen pals.

Second, Iran decided to randomly release 11 prominent political prisoners, including noted human rights lawyer Nasrin Sotoudeh, on the eve of a visit by Rouhani to the United States. Talk about a diplomatic charm offensive! Swoooon.

And now Rouhani went on US television to reassure Americans that Iran will never build any nukes.

Under no circumstances would we seek any weapons of mass destruction, including nuclear weapons, nor will we ever,” Rouhani said in an interview with NBC.

“We have never pursued or sought a nuclear bomb and we are not going to do so. We are solely seeking peaceful nuclear technology.”

Hassan Rouhani seems pretty hellbent on coming across as a more moderate president – although compared to the last president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hitler would seem pretty moderate. At least he acknowledged the Holocaust…

Anyways, it’s great that Rouhani is trying to repair diplomatic relations with the West. Now if only Iran would re-think its position on launching cats into space… Maybe Obama can mention that in the next letter.

Via: The Guardian

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