Tag Archives: Japan

Japan Stocks Up On Toilet Paper (Just In Case)

Japan Toilet Paper

The Japanese government has launched a new campaign to make sure civilians stockpile a critical emergency item: toilet paper. Translation: Prepare for the shit. Before it hits the fan.

The government and paper companies kicked off a “Let’s stockpile toilet paper!” campaign to mark Disaster Prevention Day. Apparently a lack of TP during a national emergency is a legitimate concern in Japan. The campaign warns of a possible toilet paper crisis because nearly half of the TP supply comes from one of Japan’s most earthquake-prone areas and it’s one of the first items to fly off the shelves during an emergency.

Officials said people immediately think of food and water as emergency supplies, but easily forget toilet paper, and get desperate when it’s too late.

“After running out of toilet paper, people start using tissue, and that could clog up precious workable toilets,” said Toshiyuki Hashimoto, an industry ministry official in charge of paper products.

“Along with food, toilet paper was among the first items that disappeared from store shelves during the disaster, even outside disaster-hit areas,” he continued.

So to avoid panic later, start stockpiling toilet paper now! You don’t want to be without a hefty roll of TP when an earthquake causes you to crap your pants. As the campaign posters say, “Be prepared and no regrets!”

“Toilet paper is an indispensable part of daily life,” Satoshi Kurosaki, chairman of the Japan Household Paper Industry Association, said. “And yet 41 percent of the supply comes from the extremely high-risk zone. So we should be prepared.”

“A family of four should be able to survive for a month on a six-roll pack, priced at 460 yen ($4.40) and with a five-year expiration date,” Kurosaki said.

Wait, toilet paper has an expiration date…? And a family of 4 can survive on a pack of 6 rolls for a month…? What are they eating over there???

Unfortunately for some Japanese civilians, having an adequate TP stockpile to wipe their ass is the least of their earthquake problems. Four men employed to clean up the damaged Fukushima nuclear power plant are suing Tokyo Electric Power and subcontractors for 65 million yen in unpaid hazard money. The Fukushima Daiichi plant, which was damaged in a March 2011 earthquake, resulted in reactor meltdowns and a contamination of the area. The men tasked with removing contaminated debris and patrolling the area say they have not been properly compensated for the dangers in their work and are worried about long term health problems. And that’s something a month’s supply of toilet paper can’t just wipe away.

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Japanese Schoolgirl Decapitates Classmate

Japanese Schoolgirl

Teenage schoolgirls? Gruesome decapitation? It’s a Japanese horror movie come to life!

A 16-year-old Japanese girl was arrested on suspicion of murdering a classmate by hitting her repeatedly, strangling her, and then dismembering her body.

The teen reportedly confessed to killing and decapitating her fellow classmate and leaving the mangled body in a bed in her apartment where she lived alone. Apparently she didn’t pass Hiding Evidence 101. But she did pass Creepy Motives with flying colors. The teen reportedly told investigators she killed her classmate because she “wanted to dissect” someone.

“I wanted to kill someone. I bought tools by myself,” the girl was quoted telling the police.

The accused has admitted she strangled the victim before severing her head and left hand, “using tools … and something like a cord”, a police investigator said.

“The victim was found decapitated, with her left wrist chopped off,” the investigator added. Her belly was also cut open.

The two girls attended the same high school in Sasebo, a city that hasn’t seen a schoolgirl crime this violent since a primary school girl stabbed her classmate to death in 2004.

Violent crime is relatively rare in Japan, but when it rains, it pours.

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Japanese Artist Jailed for Vagina Kayak

Vagina Kayak

A Japanese artist who modeled a kayak after her vagina is “outraged” by her arrest and has vowed to fight the obscenity charges against her.

Megumi Igarashi, 42, was arrested last Saturday for sending data that could be used to create 3D models of her vagina. The Tokyo-based artist had built a yellow kayak with a top shaped like her vagina after raising about $10,000 through crowdfunding. Igarashi then sent 3D printer data of her scanned vagina – the digital basis for her kayak project – as a thank you to a number of donors. Thanks for the money – now here’s my vagina!

But before Igarashi, who also goes by the moniker Rokudenashiko, which means “no-good girl” in Japanese, could get to work on her next vagina boat, she was arrested for distributing indecent material.

The vagina “has been such a taboo in Japanese society”, Igarashi wrote on her website. “It’s been overly hidden although it’s just a part of a woman’s body.”

“I cannot agree with the police’s decision to label the data as obscene,” she later said. “To me, my vagina is like my arms and legs. It’s nothing obscene.”

But according to Japan’s obscenity laws, which ban the depiction of genitalia and blur them out in broadcast media and images, 3D vaginas are the definition of obscene.

Maybe so, but if they allow little girl urine flavoured ice cream, can vagina kayaks really be that bad?

Japan Ice Cream

At least they didn’t try go with the chocolate flavour…

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Japan (Finally) Bans Child Porn Possession

Japan Bans Child Porn

Japan has banned possession of child pornography… wait, child porn was legal in Japan?!?

Becoming one of the last developed countries to do so, Japan finally took the plunge and banned the possession of child sex-abuse images.

The upper house of parliament overwhelmingly voted in favour of revising the current laws (under which only the production and distribution of child pornography were banned) to include possession. The new law states that anyone found with child porn images can be jailed for up to a year or fined up to $10,000.

But because it’s Japan and they love their weird sexualized cartoons, the law excludes the depiction of sexual acts with children in “manga” comic books, anime, and video games. Despite the calls for the uber-sexualized manga imagery to be included in the new law, there was strong resistance from manga artists and publishers, who believed such a ban would violate their right to free speech.

So drawings of wide-eyed children engaged in extremely explicit sexual activities are fine, possession of actual wide-eyed slit-eyed children engaged in extremely explicit sexual activities only became illegal this week, but normal porn between two consenting adults is still required to be pixelated in Japan. Makes sense…. in Japan?

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Switched at Birth Japanese Man Wins Lawsuit

Switched at Birth Japanese Baby

60 years ago, a Japanese baby won the vaginal lottery by being the eldest son born into a wealthy family. But then he was accidentally switched at birth and was raised in poverty by a single mother. Oops! Now he’s back for revenge: lawsuit style.

Another baby, born 13 minutes after the Japanese man at the San-Ikukai Hospital in Tokyo, was accidently given to the man’s biological parents. Honest mistake though – they all look the same. Babies, I mean… Anyways, that infant went on to live an affluent lifestyle complete with private tutoring and university. He is now head of a successful property firm.

The other baby didn’t have quite as cushy a lifestyle. After the man he thought was his father died, he and his three “older brothers” were raised by a single mother in a one-room apartment and were dependent on hand-outs from the government. The man went to night school while working day shifts in a factory before settling into a career as a truck driver. Instead of getting married, the man helps take care of his three “brothers”, one of who had suffered a stroke.

In 2011, when the family finally realized the man didn’t really look like any of his family members, they asked to see hospital records and requested a DNA test – which confirmed the switched at birth theory.

When the now 60-year-old Japanese man realized what had happened, he sued the hospital for mistakenly casting him into a life of poverty. Last week, the Tokyo District Court ordered the hospital to pay the man 38 million yen ($393,000) in damages as a result of the mix-up, significantly less than the $2.6 million the man was seeking and certainly not enough to make up for the fact that he will never meet his real parents, who died before the error came to light.

“The links between the man and his real parents were severed and the man was forced to grow up in a poor home,” Judge Masatoshi Miyasaka said in his ruling. “The mental anguish he went through was enormous.

“There were far-reaching differences between the two family environments and the plaintiff suffered an unreasonable loss as a result,” the ruling said.

“It is impossible to assess the scale of the pain and disappointment the parents and the man had to suffer, as they were deprived of opportunities to enjoy their parent-child relationship for ever.”

As for the man switched at birth, he told reporters at a Tokyo press conference last week that he was shell-shocked (and angry!) when he learned the truth.

I might have had a different life. I want (the hospital) to roll back the clock to the day I was born.”

True, his life would have been quite different. But still, while being born into wealth has its privileges, it doesn’t necessarily make you smarter – just luckier. Rob Ford is living proof of that.

Via: Sydney Morning Herald

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Send Your Stuffed Animals on the Vacation of a Lifetime!

Stuffed Animals on Vacation

Too broke to travel? Why not live vicariously through your stuffed animals!

A Japanese travel company is offering package holidays for stuffed animals. Unagi Travel will take your toys to popular tourist attractions, shopping trips and even hot new restaurants. The price of the package trips range anywhere from $20 and $95, depending on the destination. Some of 200 stuffed animals who have already participated have been as far away as Los Angeles and London – while others prefer the nationalistic route and just travel throughout Japan.

For the bargain price of $45 dollars your teddy bear can embark on the Tokyo tour, stopping at five major sightseeing stops in the city. A day and a half tour to Kyoto, however, will set you back $95. The best deal though is the “mystery tour” which only costs $35 and your stuffed animal gets to travel on a plane to an exotic locale.

38-year-old Sonoe Azuma is the brains behind the stuffed animal travel operation. She claims that living vicariously through inanimate objects actually makes you feel like you’re on a vacation yourself. And the tour guides make sure every magical moment of your stuffed animals trip is captured – either through pictures or videos. Just make sure your stuffed animal doesn’t sucker you into sitting through a four-hour trip slideshow.

Via: The Daily Mail

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French Cartoon Angers the Japanese

The Japanese Mad About Cartoon

The Japanese and Muslims now have something in common: they both throw fits of rage over cartoons in obscure European newspapers.

The Japanese are furious after the French satirical weekly, Le Canard Enchaine, published a cartoon depicting two emaciated sumo wrestlers with extra limbs at the stricken Fukushima nuclear plant. The caption of the political cartoon reads: “Thanks to Fukushima, sumo is now an Olympic sport”, a reference to Tokyo’s successful bid to host the 2020 Olympic Games.

Fukushima cartoonA second image features two people in protective clothing conducting radiation tests by the side of a pool, along with the caption: “There is already a pool in Fukushima for the Olympics.”

The Japanese SO MAD that they plan to lodge an official compliant (gasp!) with the French embassy.

The triple meltdown at Fukushima, which is about 227 km north of Tokyo, was deemed a level seven incident on an international scale. For context, only one other incident was ever given this high of a ranking – the 1986 Chernobyl disaster. Since the incident, which was triggered by the 2011 tsunami, the plant has continued to be plagued by problems, such as leaks of radioactive water from storage tanks and concerns that contaminated water is seeping into the ground.

Chief Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga said the cartoons give the wrong impression about Japan and the nuclear plant meltdown and resulting wastewater issues are under control and will not affect the Olympics.

“It is inappropriate and gives the wrong impression about the issue of contaminated water at Fukushima Daiichi,” Suga said. “It is extremely regrettable.”

Relax Japan. You’ve already won the Olympic bid despite the whole Fukushima nuclear crisis/ongoing safety concerns. And you’ve got bigger things to worry about. Like developing thyroid cancer from all that radiation…

Via: The Guardian

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Only in Japan Would a Haiku Killer Exist

Haiku Killer

Hundreds of police are searching for the Haiku Killer, a 63-year-old man accused of murdering 5 people and burning down 2 homes in a small Japanese town with only 16 residents.

5 victims out of 16 residents?? So the Haiku Killer basically murdered a third of the town. The suspect, who has been MIA since Monday, left the police a clue in the window of his home in the form of a Haiku poem. According to the authorities, the poem translated as: “Setting on fire, smoke gives delight, to country fellows.”

The Haiku killer is thought to have burned down two homes after murdering five elderly victims in their sleep. The victims were found in the smoldering remains of their homes, and were later discovered to have been beaten to death. All five reportedly died instantly after being struck on the head with a blunt instrument.

According to the remaining residents of the town, the man reported to be the Haiku Killer was known to be unfriendly and “something of a troublemaker”. After his parents died 8 years ago, he grew increasingly alienated and began taking medication. Also, one of the victims frequently fought with him over his dog, who she didn’t like. So obviously she had to be burned to death. I’d write a Haiku about it, but I’m not Japanese.

Via: CNN

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World’s Oldest Man, Jiroemon Kimura, Dies… And Other News

Jiroemon Kimura

The world’s oldest man, Jiroemon Kimura, is…dead.

116 year-old Jiroemon Kimura wasn’t just the world’s oldest person – he was the oldest man to have ever lived! Jiroemon Kimura, who was born in 1897, died of natural causes on Wednesday in a hospital in Kyotango, Kyoto. He leaves behind a sh*tload of relatives: 7 children, 14 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, and 14 great-great grandchildren. His secret to a long life? “Eat light and live long.” He never smoked and made it a habit to eat until he was only 80 percent full. I guess Americans are screwed. Telegraph

Gay LobbyThere is a “gay lobby” inside the Vatican and Pope Francis is very worried about it. Pope Francis acknowledged the existence of a ‘gay lobby’ in the Roman Curia during a private meeting with a group of Latin American Catholic clerics. He also suggested that he was considering taking action on it. The Vatican would have to “see what we can do” about the “gay lobby” operating in the bureaucracy, he said. “It is true, it is there,” a report quotes him as saying. Apparently gay Vatican clergymen had been working together to advance their personal interests. And just how gay is this gay lobby? So gay that it is speculated to have influenced then-Pope Benedict XVI decision to retire. BBC News

Joselyn-Martinez-Justo-SantosAspiring actress one-ups the NYPD: Joselyn Martinez solved her father’s cold case murder 26 years later. The 36-year-old star of the upcoming Web series Wives in the Heights tracked down the man who allegedly murdered her father in 1986 and delivered his phone number and address to the NYPD. How did she do it? Well, her family knew the killer’s name so she did some research, paid about $300 in fees for Internet background-check sites and gave police the info. Justo Santos was then arrested and confessed to the killing. He will be brought to New York later this week to face charges. CNN

Baggy PantsBad news for Beiber and his diaper pants: A beach town in the US state of New Jersey is passing a ban on the wearing of low-slung pants, jeans or shorts on its boardwalk. Wildwood Mayor Ernest Troiano is sick and tired of exposed skin and underwear so he has introduced a new dress code prohibiting pants that hang more than 3 inches below the hips. Mayor Troiano said: “When you have good families who call you up and say, ‘I’ve been coming here 20 years, 30 years, 40 years and I’m not going to any longer because I’m not going to subject my children or my parents or grandparents to seeing some kid walk down the boardwalk with their butt hanging out,’ you have to do something.” BBC News

8 Month ErectionAnd while we’re on the topic of New Jersey, a New Jersey man has sued his doctor over an 8-month erection. Yes, 8 months. 44-year-old Daniel Metzgar,  is suing the Delaware-based urologist who gave him a botched penile implant. The procedure involved inserting a three-piece implant in his groin, including a scrotum pump, inflatable cylinders inside the shaft of his penis, and a reservoir for fluid under his abdominal wall. But Metzgar experienced  volleyball-sized swelling on his scrotum after the procedure and was advised to have it removed. Although he said at the time he couldn’t afford it, it later had to be removed after the tubing punctured his scrotum during a family vacation. Metzgar got the implant to boost his confidence but things did not go as planned. “I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner,” Metzgar complained to jurors. “It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends.” Raw Story

The publishers of a controversial colouring book are angry at the White House for allegedly sending them an email laced with profanity, asking that Bill Ayers (a one-time associate of Obama) be removed from its “The True Faces of Evil – Terror” list. Despite having no evidence to back the email up, the publishers claim the White House disapproved of ‘The True Faces of Evil – Terror” colouring book.

true faces of evil IIHIH

First of all, who makes terrorist colouring books for kids? ‘Here’s your new colouring book Jimmy – ‘The True Faces of Evil – Terror.’ Remember to colour inside the lines of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s face… or it’s off to Guantanamo!’ But don’t worry – if your kids aren’t into terror, there are other options: “Tea Party Coloring Book for Kids” and “We Shall Never Forget 9/11: The Kids Book of Freedom”. Raw Story

Dunkin Donut NutAfter much public prodding, Dunkin’ Donuts has said they will honor two employees who endured a racist nutcase’s rant. The donut nut, 27-year-old Taylor Chapman berated the minimum-wage workers and demanded free food after, she claims, a worker failed to give her a receipt the day before. Chapman, who despite not being in high school still takes car selfies (see picture), videotaped the whole thing thinking she would come across as a hero for demanding receipt justice. Instead she came across as a lunatic and went on a Arab-phobic rant, threatening to “to nuke your whole planet from Mars.” The two workers who endured the harassment handled the situation calmly and both have been invited to an internal company event in Boca Raton later this month for further recognition. Gawker

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Japanese Automakers

Current Event Cat - Japanese Automakers

Four Japanese automakers announced the recall of 3.4 million vehicles due to defective airbags that could potentially injure passengers by failing to deflate and setting on fire. Yep, setting passengers on fire would be a good reason to recall.

Among the Japanese automakers are Toyota, Nissan and Honda, meaning any Camry and Corollas may be at risk for setting passengers on fire. The defective cars were sold in the years 2000-04, and the firms said the defective airbag was supplied by parts maker Takata Corp. ‘That’s what you get for not buying American made!’ Some Glenn Beck-type is probably yelling somewhere.

As of yet, no injuries or deaths have been blamed on the faulty airbags. But I guess the Japanese would rather be safe than sorry. Or liable. 

Via: Current Event Cats