Tag Archives: John Boehner

John Boehner’s Bartender Tried to Poison Him

John Boehner Drinking Bartender

44-year-old Michael Robert Hoyt, a bartender in Deer Park, Ohio, has been charged with threatening to kill the Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner.

Michael Hoyt, who had served Boehner drinks at the Wetherington Country Club for more than five years, said he wished to poison the senior Republican by spiking his drink.

Hoyt called police on Oct. 29 to tell them he blamed Boehner for his life’s troubles a week after being fired. Apparently the call prompted sufficient enough concerns that officers were sent to his home a week later. When the police arrived, Hoyt told them he was Jesus Christ and John Boehner was the devil. Clearly, the bartender has a troubling history of mental illness. Either that, or he really is Jesus Christ and Boehner really is the devil – can’t really rule that out at this point.

Hoyt also told officers he was going to kill Boehner because “Boehner was mean to him at the country club and because Boehner is responsible for Ebola.” Well, at least one of those is probably true…

Hoyt planned on poisoning Boehner’s drink but unfortunately didn’t have the time (or mental capacity) to pull the plan together before he lost his job at the Wetherington Country Club. He then proceeded to tell the cops his Plan B: shoot Boehner with a Beretta .380 pistol and flee the scene.

Police confiscated the weapon and Hoyt was taken to a local hospital for psychiatric evaluation.

To sum up, John Boehner has not been poisoned… despite the alarmingly unnatural orange hue of his skin.

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Fort Hood Shooting Revelation: The Mentally Ill Should Not Have Guns

Fort Hood Shooting

Following the Fort Hood shooting, in which Ivan Lopez, a PTSD riddled Iraq War veteran, killed three people and injured 16, Speaker John Boehner had a startling realization: the mentally ill should not own guns.

No kidding. Speaking at an event on Capitol Hill, John Boehner announced that mentally ill people should be prevented from buying guns.

“There’s no question that those with mental health issues should be prevented from owning weapons or being able to purchase weapons,” Boehner said.

“This issue we need to continue to look at to find a way to keep guns out of the hands of people who shouldn’t have them.”

But didn’t House Republicans kill a bill last year to expand background checks following the Newtown elementary-school massacre? And haven’t Boehner and his fellow House Republicans been constantly resisting the push by Democrats and President Obama to enact stricter gun laws in the wake of other prominent mass shootings, including a 2009 massacre at Fort Hood? The very same Fort Hood?? Meh. I’m sure it’ll be different this time.

But what prompted the Iraq War veteran to go on a shooting spree then take his own life at the Texas military base on Wednesday? Was it mental illness…. or was it Obama?

While the soldier’s motive remains unknown, Lopez was undergoing evaluation for PTSD and possibly had a “verbal altercation” with another soldier before opening fire. But ehe Army said a psychiatrist evaluated Specialist Ivan Lopez just last month and found no violent or suicidal tendencies.

So who or what’s to blame for the tragedy? Well, the hosts of the Fox News morning show Fox & Friends wasted no time blaming President Barack Obama and gun control for the Fort Hood shooting.

“There you have our soldiers not being able to arm themselves,” host Elisabeth Hasselbeck opined. “Still, if they have a weapon, they are to register it within five days of purchase, and obtaining it. But then that must be stored away in these lockers so that it cannot be carried on their person, therefore leaving them vulnerable.”

“Gateway Pundit, which is a way right-leaning blog, what they write this morning is, ‘The Obama administration is responsible for this mass shooting. They witnessed this before, they didn’t learn a thing. Gun-free zones are death zones. It is time to stand up to the lunacy,’” Co-host Steve Doocy chimed in.

Yep, the only solution to mentally ill people having easy access to guns is giving everybody else even easier access to guns. Want less gun violence? Just get more guns and less Obama! So simple, yet so ineffective.

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Current Event Cat of the Day: State of the Union Recap

Current Event Cat - State of the Union

State of the Union recap: Obama spoke, Biden smiled, Boehner did his best grumpy cat impression.

Obama made is through his fifth annual State of the Union address last night, touching on five key points:

Income inequality: Noting that America is growing, but only for a few, Obama pledged to offer “a set of concrete, practical proposals to speed up growth, strengthen the middle class, and build new ladders of opportunity into the middle class”.

Screw You Congress: Obama promised to tackle economic inequality “with or without Congress,” signaling that he’s willing to bypass the stubborn bunch whenever and wherever possible. He also announced he will unilaterally raise the minimum wage for new federal contract staff.

Let Obamacare Be Great: Obama reiterated that Obamacare is here to stay and kindly asked Republicans to stop trying to repeal his signature healthcare overhaul. “Let’s not have another forty-something votes to repeal a law that’s already helping millions of Americans.”

Iran is My New BFF: Obama praised Iran for cooperating (to an extent) in regards to their nuclear weapons program. The president urged Congress to give it some more time and stop demanding new sanctions be placed on Iran.

 Sgt. Cory Remsburg Is Awesome and That’s Something We Can All Get Behind: Obama ended his speech by praising the military and saluting Sgt. Remsburg, an Army Ranger who was nearly killed by a bomb during his tenth deployment. Moral of the story: If Cory can recover, so can America – if Congress butts out that is…

But the best part of the State of the Union speech didn’t involve Obama at all, it was Joe Biden and John Boehner’s opposing facial expressions.  To the left of Obama, he have Joe Biden, smiling, animated, possibly drunk, and overall loving the speech. On the other side, there’s Tan Dad John Boehner. Aside from one friendly thumbs up, the perpetually orange House Speaker, who is darker than Obama at this point, looked like he’d rather watch paint dry than listen to a second more of Obama’s ramblings.

SOTU Gif

Via: BBC News

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Debt Ceiling Deadline

Current EVent Cat - Debt Deadline

It’s T-12 hours until the world implodes and it’s all in the capable hands of the Senate now. Majority Leader Harry Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell are “apparently” close to finalizing a deal to reopen the government and avoid debt default ahead of the midnight Thursday deadline.

The U.S. Senate leaders are “optimistic” about scrounging together a bipartisan deal after negotiations failed to produce anything concrete on Tuesday night. But today is a new day and they will reconvene at noon to try again. There’s no pressure anyways – except from the calendar deadline, financial markets and public opinion polls.

Once the Senate a deal in place, the House will still need to vote on it and send it off for Obamapproval. While it’s not 100% finalized yet, their plan reportedly would extend the federal borrowing limit until February 7 and fund the government to mid-January, and would include relatively minor changes to Obama’s signature healthcare law, affectionately/angrily known as Obamacare.

The House itself, led by Speaker John Boehner, was unable to produce a bill of its own that would pass. But John Boehner still has one important task: he must muster up enough votes in the Republican-led House to pass the Senate bill before he midnight deadline. A daunting task given recent Tea Party antics…

Meanwhile, the Fitch credit rating agency is just itching to push the downgrade button on the U.S.’s AAA rating. And once that happens, the U.S government will… sue them for fraud? Implode? Cause the markets to crash? All three?

Via: CNN

Update: The Senate has reached a cross-party deal! Next stop: the House. Last Stop: Obama’s desk.

Government Shutdown Update: STILL NO PROGRESS

Government Boehner

Yesterday Obama attempted to make a temporary deal with Republicans: reopen the government and extend the debt ceiling in exchange for long-term talks.

House Speaker John Boehner rejected the offer, calling the request an “unconditional surrender.”

“The president said today if there’s unconditional surrender by Republicans, he’ll sit down and talk to us,” Boehner said on Tuesday. “That’s not the way our government works.”

All we’re asking for is to sit down and have a conversation,” Boehner continued. “There’s no reason to make it more difficult to bring people to the table. There’s no boundaries here. There’s nothing on the table, there’s nothing off the table. I’m trying to do everything I can to bring people together and have a conversation.”

But Obama and Democrats are holding firm, saying they would only be willing to have that conversation after Republicans reopen the government and raise the debt ceiling. So it’s back to square one.

Meanwhile, the Democrats have been experimenting with some new tactics to try and get the Republicans to cave. Two House Democrats are calling for the House gym and spa to be closed during the shutdown. Reps. Bill Foster (D-Ill.) and Patrick Murphy (D-Fla.) are insisting that Congress shouldn’t enjoy perks while others are not getting paid and have asked John Boehner to deem the tax-payer funded House gym non-essential for the duration of the shutdown. So far, the Republicans have yet to comment, but judging from the looks of them, they wouldn’t be too concerned if the gym closed.

Out of Shape

Except for Paul Ryan. He will be devastated. 

Paul Ryan Working OUt

If the gym threat fails (and it will), Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) has another idea: pointing out Congress’ rapidly declining approval ratings. In a speech on the House floor, Grayson pointed to recent polls and read out a list of items that the American people found more likable than Congress.

“What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or witches? Congress, 32 percent; witches, 46 percent,” he said. “What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or hemorrhoids? Congress, 31 percent; hemorrhoids, 53 percent. What do you have a higher opinion of, Congress or dog poop? Congress 40 percent; dog poop 47 percent.”

Unfortunately the Speaker cut Grayson’s dog poop speech short and it was quickly added to the list of things Congressional Republicans have shut down.

Via: The Huffington Post

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Government Shutdown Update: NO PROGRESS

Government Shutdown No Progress

President Obama called House Speaker John Boehner earlier today and told him that he will NOT negotiate with Republicans until they end the shutdown and agree to raise the debt limit.

The president then called a press conference and pretty much reiterated that to the American people. Obama said any negotiations on the ongoing government shutdown or the debt limit “shouldn’t require hanging the threats of a shutdown or economic chaos over the heads of the American people”. So end the shutdown and then we’ll talk!

Obama called those Republicans considering a default “irresponsible” and “out of touch with reality,” saying that they’re too scared of Tea Party challengers to side with the Democrats / think logically. He urged the House to pass “clean” proposals that don’t have partisan amendments pushing GOP priorities… or the consequences could be dire.

Obama also apologized to Americans for the partisan deadlock.

“We’ve got to stop repeating this pattern. I know the American people are tired of it,” the president said, adding: “I apologize you have to go through this stuff every three months, it seems like. And Lord knows, I’m tired of it. At some point we’ve got to break these habits.”

JohnKerryAsiaSummitAPBut most of all, Obama was upset that he missed out on his trip to Asia. He had to send John Kerry as a stand-in at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in Indonesia. This could have been him!!! —->

“I should have been there,” Obama said. “It’s like me not showing up at my own party.

The President criticized Republican lawmakers further by saying that the government shutdown and the missed opportunities that result from it hurt America’s credibility around the world. Although, to be fair, wearing that outfit may have hurt his credibility even more…

Via: The New York Times

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