Tag Archives: News of the Stupid

Dr. Seuss Book Deemed “Too Violent” For Toronto Public Library

Hop on Pop Library

STOP. You Must Not Hop on Pop. Or at least according to one library patron who believes that Dr. Seuss’s beloved 1963 children’s book Hop on Pop should be banned from the Toronto Public Library because of the book’s violent themes.

The popular picture book was one of seven books that patrons with too much time on their hands have asked the Toronto Public Library to remove from its collection over the past year.

In Hop on Pop’s case, the patron complained that “it was violent and encouraged children to be violent with their fathers.” The crazed Torontonian library buzzkill not only recommended the book be removed, but also requested the Toronto Public Library apologize to Greater Toronto Area fathers and pay damages resulting from the book’s violent message. Someone must have had a rough hop on pop experience…

Despite the bizarre demand to ban Hop on Pop because it “encourages children to use violence against their fathers,” the Toronto Public Library rejected the request after careful consideration because the story actually advises children against hopping on their fathers.

“The children are actually told not to hop on pop,” reads a recently released report by the library’s Materials Review Committee.

The annual list of patron requests to reconsider material on Toronto library shelves averages about half a dozen. This year, in addition to Hop on Pop, anonymous library users also demanded the following books be banned: the children’s book Lizzy’s Lion the 2012 movie That’s My Boy, starring Adam Sandler, the 1983 romance novel A Kiss, Killing Kennedy by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, and “Complete Hindi,” an adult language learning kit.

The committee rejected all of the requests.

Maybe next year instead of publishing the names of the “shocking and disturbing” books, they should release the names of the anonymous library patrons requesting their removal…

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This 9-Month-Old Pakistani Baby Has Been Charged With Attempted Murder

9-MOnth-old Baby Musa Khan 

After Pakistan’s troubled police force failed to spot 6 foot 5 Osama bin Laden hiding in their backyard, they’re determined not to let any more criminal masterminds get away – especially not Musa Khan, a 9-month-old baby boy, who has been charged with attempted murder.

Musa Kahn was charged alongside four adults in connection with a violent protest in a Lahore slum back in February. During the protest, slum residents threw stones at gas-company workers attempting to disconnect households that didn’t pay up. The police subsequently charged the entire family, including Musa, with attempted murder.

PAKISTAN-CHILDREN-JUSTICE-POLICEThe ridiculousness of the case became apparent when the child was required to appear in court. Forced to make an appearance and record his thumbprint (since he couldn’t actually sign his release papers), the baby screamed and cried, and required a milk bottle to calm him down.

He does not even know how to pick up his milk bottle properly—how can he stone the police?his grandfather Muhammad Yasin said.

The baby’s official charge is attempting “to murder with intention or knowledge” and if convicted, Musa may face a maximum of 10 years in prison, with even stricter penalties if a judge determines that the crime was done in “the name or on the pretext of honour.” However, the child’s lawyer has argued that children under the age of 7 cannot be prosecuted under Pakistani law.

But Musa’s family is playing it safe and has whisked the child off into hiding until the case blows over. The boy’s grandfather revealed that he had sent the child 200 kilometres away to Faisalabad “for protection” against the “vindictive” police. Except it’s not really ‘going into hiding’ if you tell everyone where he was sent…

I’m not sure what’s more shocking – that Pakistani police see no problem in prosecuting a 9-month-old baby or that Pakistan has access to nuclear weapons.

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New Jersey Man Doesn’t Understand the Concept of Double Jeopardy… Or Just Loves Prison

Shoe Robbery Double Jeopardy

Double Jeopardy? Double crime! After spending 15 years in prison for robbing a children’s shoe store, Christopher Miller headed straight back to the same shop after being released and robbed it again

In 1999, a 25-year-old Christopher Miller was arrested after he forced a bunch of shoe salesmen into the back room of the Stride Rite shoe store in Toms River, tied them up and fled with cash from the register.

Apparently in New Jersey that gets you about 15 years in the slammer so off Miller went.

Fast forward to 2014 and Miller is released from prison. First on his agenda? Rob the shoe store again.

One day after being released Miller, now 40, took a bus from Atlantic City to Toms River to visit his old robbing ground. He entered the shoe store and demanded cash, telling the workers – a teenage boy and 43-year-old woman – to go to the back room. When they refused, he became agitated, grabbed the $389 that was in the cash register and the two employees’ cell phones, and fled the scene. Police later found him a few blocks away and charged him with robbery. Again.

As for why Miller would commit the same crime twice, Toms River Police Chief Mitchell Little has a theory: he really wanted to go back to the comfort of prison (think Brooks in The Shawshank Redemption).

“Maybe that’s the only life he knows, and the only thing he could think of was going back to the same store and doing the same crime again — getting caught and going back where he was taken care of and told what to do and getting meals and shelter and everything else,” he said.

But another theory is that Miller watched the movie Double Jeopardy while in prison and thought “Wait a minute, I can’t be arrested for robbing the same store twice! It’s the perfect crime!”

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