Tag Archives: Rob Ford

Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford Quits Mayoral Race

Current Event Cat - Ford Quits Mayoral Race

Torontonians will no longer have to struggle with the decision of whether Ford more years of terrible leadership is worth Ford more years of hilarious crack stories. Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford has officially withdrawn his name from the Toronto mayoral race – but surprisingly not because of his alcoholism and crack use.

In light of the pseudo-mayor’s recent health problems, Ford’s campaign pulled a surprise move on Friday just before the 2 p.m. candidate deadline and submitted paperwork to take his name off the ballot for the Oct. 27 vote.

But that’s not the end of the Fords. Rob Ford’s brother, Councillor Doug Ford, is replacing him in the Toronto mayoral race. Essentially, Toronto is now facing it’s worst possible nightmare: a healthier, more sober, more aggressive Ford running for mayor. But luckily, Doug doesn’t have the same kind of “star quality” or cult following that his brother did. Back in May, a Forum Research poll suggested that Doug Ford would fare considerably worse in the mayoral race than his brother, who was polling in second place, behind John Tory but ahead of Olivia Chow, when stomach pain sent him to the hospital Wednesday.

As for the fate of Rob Ford, the crack-addict is currently holed up in Mt. Sinai Hospital with what doctors are calling an abdominal tumour.

Doug Ford told the Toronto Sun that the mayor could be facing “a surgery and chemotherapy and could be on his back for six to eight weeks” and his brother “is in for the fight of his life.”

And unlike the fight for the mayoral seat, this is one fight where crack use and drunken stupors won’t improve your chances of success.

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Happy Canada Day: Rob Ford is Out of Rehab!

Rob Ford Canada Day

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has returned to “work” after two months of “intensive treatment” for drug and alcohol abuse.

Rob Ford held a press conference on Monday to apologize for his recent behaviour and kickstart his mayoral campaign – and by press conference I mean he took no questions and much of the media was locked outside.

Ford may not have learned how to control his addiction in rehab, but he certainly picked up a few buzzwords:

“Thanks to my treatment, I can proudly say today that I have begun the process of taking control of my life,” he said in a small, crowded room at City Hall, filled with about two dozen journalists.

“But folks, this is a long, long road to recovery. But no matter what I do I will never be able to change the mistakes I made in the past.”

I am ashamed and humiliated. I have no one to blame but myself. I want to sincerely apologize to not just the people of Toronto but every single person who was hurt by my words or my actions.”

With his two-month stint at a rehab facility in Ontario’s Muskoka region (aka the Ford Family cottage) completed and the heartfelt apology out of the way, Rob Ford is now back on the campaign trail, brushing aside repeated calls to quit the mayoral race.

Seen decked out in Canada Day garb and handing out miniature Canadian flags and magnets at the East York Canada Day parade, Ford shook hands with supporters while enduring some heckling by others.

Perhaps the campaign trail isn’t the most conducive environment for a recovering drug addict or alcoholic… The best thing Torontonians can to help Rob Ford with his health issue is to relieve him of the stress of public office – but given that the latest polls show the mayor’s popularity has actually risen during his two-month stint in rehab and he is now only 7 percentage points behind frontrunner Olivia Chow, it seems Torontonians haven’t had their fill of crack scandals just yet.

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Rob Ford is Already in Trouble at Rehab

Rob Ford Rehab

In his second media interview from rehab, Rob Ford admitted he was getting into trouble for making calls from rehab to journalists.

So naturally, after he got in trouble for talking to the media, he called up the media to tell them about it…

“There’s just a policy you’re not allowed to speak to the media in these programs. I didn’t know about that,” he told the Sun on Wednesday. “They weren’t too happy.”

I got into major shit for talking to you, so I can’t talk to you.”

Except for this one last interview, of course…

In his (final?) rehab interview, Mayor Rob Ford revealed that he is undergoing treatment in a facility that costs as much as six figures.

“It’s worth every dime, every dime,” he told the Toronto Sun. “A hundred grand is cheap. It’s a steal.”

PLEASE tell me it’s not taxpayer funded…

The mayor, who is supposedly undergoing treatment after more allegations of crack use surfaced in recent weeks, still would not reveal the location of the “amazing” rehab facility that reminds him of “football camp”.

Rob Ford posterAfter boarding a private jet bound for Chicago last week, Ford turned back (or was denied entry?) before he officially entered the U.S, leaving Canadians wondering “where in the world is Rob Ford” and “is he really in a rehab facility?” And cue the Rob Ford sightings

After a possible Rob Ford sighting at a Toronto Tim Hortons, his brother, Councilor Doug Ford, insisted that it was him and that the mayor is “nowhere close to the GTA”.

Even Mayor McCrack laughed at the report he was spotted in a Tim Hortons.

“That’s funny,” he said over the phone Wednesday from an undisclosed location which he claims is a rehab centre.

I think I speak for all Torontonians when I say, “Get off the phone and go back to rehab!!”

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Where In The World Is Mayor Rob Ford?

Where in the World is Mayor Rob Ford

You would think someone so big and constantly stumbling around in a drunken stupor while leaving a trail of crack would be easy to spot, but the search is on for Rob Ford after the crack-smoking mayor mysteriously withdrew his request to enter the United States border last Thursday.

After announcing his plans to enter rehab following the release of yet another crack video, Rob Ford decided to switch it up and wreak havoc on a different city. The mayor took a private plane from Toronto Buttonville Municipal Airport and flew to Chicago, the U.S headquarters of the Ford family business. But at the last minute, Ford decided (or was forced?) to turn back before he officially entered the U.S.

“U.S. Customs and Border Protection confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed,” the Consul General of Canada in Chicago confirmed, noting that the mayor “was not denied entry, per se.”

The current whereabouts of Mayor McCrack are now unknown. His brother, Councillor Doug Ford, refused to give details of his brother’s location, but he did say the mayor is “100 per cent” in a rehab program.

“For the one-millionth time, Rob Ford is in a rehabilitation program,” he told reporters on Tuesday.

“He’s feeling good. He bought into the program and he’s getting the support that he needs,” Doug continued.

The mayor’s lawyer, Dennis Morris, reiterated that the mayor checked into a treatment facility but remained silent on its whereabouts.

“The bottom line is he’s in rehab, he’s getting rehab and he’ll be there for a number of weeks – and that’s the answer. It’s not like he’s at a baseball game in Los Angeles or something.”

In other news, crack sales in Toronto have plummeted and the Etobicoke KFC is going out of business.

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Sarah Thomson Out-Cracks Rob Ford With A New Transit Video

Sarah THomson Rob Ford

When you’re running a mayoral race against an overweight alcoholic crackhead who’s currently in rehab, it’s pretty hard to make yourself look like the dumbest candidate. Unless, of course, you’re Sarah Thomson…

Toronto Mayoral candidate Sarah Thomson, who ran for mayor in 2010 and later accused Rob Ford of grabbing her butt at an event, is back in the race for 2014 – but this time she brought her A F game. Trading in a more traditional hairstyle for dreadlocks after the last election, Thomson said she will be “keeping it real” this time around.

Hoping to “keep it real” while at the same time hammer home her $25 billion transit plan dubbed “Tunnel Toronto”, Sarah Thomson has unleashed a new music video so cringeworthy that it makes Rob Ford’s “more than enough to eat at home” comment seem almost charming.

Sung to the music of Pitbull and Kesha’s hit song “Timber,” the new transit video features Thomson singing about her tunnel plan with another singer she identifies as “White Kanye.” The remixed version of the song was rewritten to drive home the point that underground transportation (i.e. subways) is the way to go.

“White Kanye” would rather remain anonymous for the time being – for reasons that will become obvious once you watch the video:

When asked why anyone would ever think this was a good idea to promote subway expansion, Thomson told CP24:

“We were just brainstorming on how we could get the message of the need to go underground out… and reaching a broader demographic and we thought ‘why not a music video.’”

I’ll do whatever it takes to inspire people to invest in transit expansion,” Thomson said.

Unfortunately, “whatever it takes” involves making Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford look like the sane choice.

(Dedicated to Charissa, a card-carrying Conservative)

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford’s Latest Crack Video (And More!)

Current Event Cat - Rob Ford Rehab

Mayor Rob Ford, the pride of Toronto’s crack-smoking community, announced last night that he’s taking a leave of absence to check into rehab for a “substance abuse” problem.

Rob Ford said he is “ready to take a break” from his reelection campaign and “go get help” after a new video surfaced of him allegedly smoking crack in his sister’s basement.

Ford previously laughed off the idea of rehab, maintaining that he doesn’t use drugs… anymore. In fact, just a few weeks ago when asked directly if he was continuing to use drugs, Ford said: “You guys ask stupid questions.” But now a new crack-smoking video plus a new drunken audio clip have apparently done the trick and Ford has finally decided to get some help save what’s left of his reelection campaign.

Rob Ford Rehab TripThe latest crack video, which was secretly filmed by a drug dealer in the basement of Ford’s sister’s home this past Saturday around 1am, shows the mayor making a drag of what appears to be crack cocaine from a “long copper-coloured pipe,” exhaling a cloud of smoke and frantically shaking his right hand. Viewed by two reporters for the Globe and Mail, the video stars a man that looks like Alessandro “Sandro” Lisi, the mayor’s former driver who has been charged with drug dealing and extortion, Ford’s sister, Kathy, who has admitted in media interviews to being a drug addict, Mayor Ford, and of course some crack pipes. The dealer claims he’s got three videos of Rob Ford smoking crack and he wants six figures for all of them. Since when did secretly filming videos of Rob Ford become more lucrative than dealing drugs?

While the Globe and Mail was preoccupied watching crack videos, the Toronto Sun was busy obtaining secret audio recordings of Mayor Ford (presumably in one of his drunken stupors) at an Etobicoke bar on Monday night.

On the recording, Ford is overheard saying he would not be able to vote for Ontario Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak because he agrees with “all the gays.”

Ford is also heard to say “I’d like to f—– jam her” when asked about mayoral candidate Karen Stintz.

Jam her? I thought he had more than enough to eat at home? Unless by jam her he meant knock her down in the middle of a council meeting like he did with Coun. Pam McConnell – in which case that’s… still pretty awful.

With the Globe and Mail and the Toronto Sun getting all the hot Rob Ford scoops, the Toronto Star was feeling a bit left out. Solution? Add Justin Bieber into the mix! The Star is now reporting that Justin Bieber enraged Rob Ford by “jokingly” asking the mayor “Did you bring any crack to smoke?” when the two met at the night club Muzik on March 15. Rob Ford apparently partied until 5am that night, drank to excess, and at one point went to a private washroom. He emerged 45 minutes later and was incoherent and rambling.

But despite his continued crack addiction, his offensive comments about… everyone, and his drunken fights with teen pop stars, Rob Ford insists he’s going to stay on the ballot for the October mayoral election.  I guess his new re-election campaign will now shift from focusing on the importance of giving second chances to the importance of giving third chances.

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St. Patrick’s Day + Rob Ford = Another Drunken Video

Rob Ford St. Patrick's Day

A new video has emerged of Mayor Rob Ford that reportedly shows him slurring his words, swearing, stumbling, and generally acting like every other St. Patrick’s Day drunk.

Who would have thought that a holiday devoted to drinking would bring out the worst in Toronto Mayor Rob Ford?

The footage, recorded outside City Hall on Saturday night by a “star-struck” suburban mom and her teenage son, shows the mayor wearing green St. Patrick’s Day beads and standing with a group of people. The mayor agreed to take a picture with them but then began slurring his words and swearing.

When reporters questioned him about the video during the St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Sunday, Ford appeared irritated and wouldn’t confirm whether or not he had been drinking – an activity he had sworn off months in November but quickly backtracked on, claiming he “wasn’t elected to be perfect”.

“Guys, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, alright? It’s about St. Patrick’s Day,” said Ford, who was wearing an oversized shiny-green bow tie and a shamrock necklace.

“Were you drinking last night? You never drink, right? You guys don’t drink,” he said when asked if he had been partying.

Still, it’s a vast improvement over his 2012 St. Patrick’s Day shenanigans, during which Ford allegedly attacked two aides, referred to a South Asian taxi driver as a “Paki” and mocked his accent, stormed the dance floor of a downtown bar, threw a wild after-hours party inside the mayor’s office, and wandered around city hall with a half-empty bottle of booze. So yeah… he’s getting better, one St. Patrick’s Day at a time!

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Daylight Savings: Time To Spring Your Clock Forward – Unless You’re Rob Ford

Rob Ford Daylight Savings

Reason #32,456 to not take advice from Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor: Rob Ford doesn’t understand daylight saving time.

Fresh off his recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel that highlighted his year of gaffes, Rob Ford added another one to the pile when he confused the daylight savings protocol and offered up misguided advice on Twitter.

While not as bad as driving while drunk and smoking crack while mayoring, Rob Ford apparently doesn’t know that daylight saving time requires individuals to set their clocks forward instead of back.

The mayor tweeted, “Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.”

Screenshot 2014-03-10 10.04.14

Not sure what type of smoke alarms he was referring to, but the original tweet was deleted corrected 29 minutes later (or 31 minutes ealier?) and a new tweet was posted with correct information.

But does Rob Ford even write his own tweets? Well, Ford’s receptionist and social media manager Tom Beyer resigned on Friday so either yes, Rob Ford has unsuccessfully learned how to tweet, or he has put someone equally incompetent in charge of the mayor’s Twitter account.

Not that I’m one to talk. After a 30 hour journey back from Thailand, I spent the morning trying to figure out why my clock and iPhone didn’t match up…

UPDATE: 

Dan Jacobs, Mayor Rob Ford’s chief of staff, confirmed that he was the one who tweeted the daylight saving time tweet from the mayor’s Twitter account.

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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Defends The Biebs

Bieber in Toronto Biebs

Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor knows what it’s like to come out of a drunken stupor and realize you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble, so it’s no surprise that Ford is backing up the Biebs.

Justin Bieber is back in Toronto to turn himself in after being charged with assaulting a limousine driver last month. According to police, the limo picked up the Biebs and five wannabe Biebers outside a nightclub in the early hours of 30 December.

“While driving the group to a hotel, an altercation occurred between one of the passengers and the driver of the limousine,” a police statement said.

“In the course of the altercation, a man struck the limousine driver on the back of the head several times.

“The driver stopped the limousine, exited the vehicle and called police. The man who struck him left the scene before police arrived.”

Bieber was subsequently charged with one count of assault, or what Rob Ford calls child’s play.

Bieber turned himself in at a Toronto police station on Wednesday amid swarming paparazzi and screaming girls. The pop star/Canada’s worst export is scheduled to appear in court in Toronto on March 10.

This latest arrest comes just a week after the Biebs was arrested and charged for driving under the influence in Florida. Law enforcement sources are now saying that the Biebs tested positive for alchohol, marijuana and Xanax. New reports also reveal that Bieber was “excited,” “talkative,” “insulting” and “cocky” and “used profanity”. That sounds about right.

But while the whole world is laughing at Bieber’s downwards spiral, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford – who coincidently was also arrested in Miami, Florida back in 1999 for driving under the influence and possessing marijuana – refuses to slam the singer.

“You know what, he’s a young guy,” Ford told the radio hosts on Thursday, “At 19 years old I wish I was as successful as he was.”

“He’s 19 years old guys, think back to when you were 19, you know.”

If Rob Ford is out smoking crack, drinking and driving, and shouting death threats at half the city at 44 years old, I hate to think what he was like at 19.

Biebs Ford

Via: The Globe and Mail

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Can Toronto Handle Ford More Years?

Ford More Years

With his new campaign slogan: Ford More Years, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford filed to put his name on the ballot for another run.

It looks like the crack-smoking, p*ssy eating saga will continue for Torontonians after Mayor Rob Ford officially filed his nomination papers to re-run for Mayor in 2014. Ford, who was the first candidate to arrive at City Hall on Thursday, thinks he’s got a pretty good shot, despite his somewhat turbulent behaviour over the last year.

“I’ve got the strongest track record, I’ve been the best mayor this city has ever had,” Ford told reporters shortly after submitting his nomination papers for the Oct. 27 municipal election.

Well, that’s a bold statement. Must be the crack talking. But you never know… Former DC Mayor Marion Barry also got caught in a hotel room smoking crack with a hooker and won re-election in the 1990s with the slogan: He May Not Be Perfect, But He’s Perfect for D.C.

If anything, Ford’s Ford More Years campaign will be interesting to watch – especially since his brother Doug has taken up the position of Campaign Manager. And don’t forget about the debates! Ford has promised to debate anyone anytime, anywhere – including someone’s backyard. And instead of promising change for the future, Ford has suggested that he won’t do anything differently.

“I’m going to continue doing what I’ve been doing, watching every dime that’s being spent,” he said.

So now Torontonians have ten months to decide if they want to disband the Ford Nation or see Ford More Years of international ridicule. Or the Toronto police can decide for them and charge the Mayor Ford with a crack-related crime…

Via: CBC News

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