Tag Archives: Rob Ford

Rob Ford’s Christmas Gift Advice: Women Love Money

Rob Ford Dance Gift

Rob Ford is full of Christmas spirit (and possibly some crack)! After performing an awkward city council boogie, the Toronto Mayor shared some of his holiday gift-giving tips.

On Wednesday, the embattled Toronto Mayor was filmed dancing around to a Christmas song and Bob Marley’s “One Love” during a city council session. Warning: this is what the Pillsbury doughboy would look like if he having a seizure while drowning in a pool of his own sweat.

Later, when Ford had fully recuperated from his super sexy dance workout, he made his regular Thursday phone-in chat on a U.S radio show Sports Junkies, to give some Christmas gift advice. When asked about his holiday gift-giving plans for his wife, Renata Ford, the mayor responded:

“Just money. Women love money. Give them a couple of thousand bucks and they’re happy. Get some treats on the side obviously for her,” he said. “At the end of the day, she wants her cash. So I give her a nice cheque and we’re all happy.”

And what will Rob Ford’s wife get him in return? All the p*ssy he can eat.

Via: The National Post

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford and His Crack Tape

Current Event Cat - Crack Tape Allegations

It’s been a quiet couple of weeks on the Rob Ford front (relatively speaking), but now the crackhead mayor is back in the headlines denying the latest allegations that he tried to purchase his infamous crack tape.

Information released Wednesday from police wiretaps has left Toronto Mayor Rob Ford sweating even more than usual. While wiretapping cellphone conversations during a drug-trafficking investigation, police overheard a number of conversations regarding the crack smoking mayor.

Heroin Use

Crack may not be the mayor’s only drug of choice. Sketchy characters were overheard on the police wiretaps saying that they have photographs of Mayor Rob Ford “doing the hezza,” or heroin.

Hanging out at Crack Houses

Police documents reveal that the house where Ford was photographed with three suspected gang members is, in fact, a crack house. Wiretap interceptions revealed someone was called to the house on April 20 because the mayor “wants some drugs.” That person was later heard saying that Ford had been “smoking his rocks” that day at the house.

Losing his Phone at a Crack House

According to police documents, Rob Ford may have lost his cellphone at the crack house a month before video of him smoking the drug hit the Internet – contradicting his earlier story about losing his phone at a community event. Maybe it was a community event at a crack house?

Attempting to Purchase Crack Tape

The documents also suggest that Ford made an offer to the men attempting to sell the video to Gawker and the Star. According to the video’s owner, Mohamed Siad, Ford offered him $5,000 and a car in exchange for the crack tape. But Siad and his fellow Somali gang leaders thought the video was worth more, suggesting they should ask for $150k.

Ford Fights Back!

Despite being dangerously dehydrated due to his profuse sweating (and possibly crack use), Ford is fighting back against these new accusations.

When asked about his attempt to purchase the crack tape, Mayor Ford told a Washington radio station, “Number one, that’s an outright lie and number two, you can talk to my lawyers about it.”

Ford also vehementently denied that the house he bought drugs at was a crack house.

That is not a crack house,” Ford told Toronto Coun. Michael Thompson when questioned about the residence. “Have you visited the house? Have you walked in the house? No you haven’t … So you’re listening, you’re listening to what the media says?”

As for the heroin use, Rob Ford didn’t comment. Most likely because it happened during one of his drnken stupors and he couldn’t remember if he shot up or not.

Via: CBC News

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Florida Sheriff: This Isn’t Toronto!

Florida Mayor Toronto Mayor

A Florida sheriff has taken Toronto’s embarrassment over their crack-smoking mayor to a new level. After arresting Barry Layne Moore, the mayor of Hampton, Florida, for allegedly procuring and selling prescription drugs, the sheriff declared, “This isn’t Toronto!” When Florida is making fun of you, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

A warrant for Barry Layne Moore was issued on Monday and he was promptly arrested. The local politician faces charges of selling a Schedule I or II drug, as well as possession of a Schedule I or II drug. His drug of choice? OxyCodone. Kind of reminds you of the time Rob Ford offered to “try” and help a constituent score OxyContin

The official Sheriff’s statement read:

This isn’t Toronto. We will not tolerate illegal drug activity, in my jurisdiction, by anyone to include [sic] our elected officials.”

As for the sheriff’s opinion of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, he told CP24:

“He just keeps making a mockery of the good people of Toronto.”

“It’s an embarrassment…this guy is full of excuses and stupidity.”

“You just don’t smoke crack one time.” Sheriff Smith continued. “I wanna give a shout-out to your police chief, I think he’s  a stand-up guy, and if he had any way to put [Mayor Ford] in jail I believe he would….this guy is not going to quit.”

Correction: when even the sheriff of a northern Florida town with a population of 500 who gives “shout-outs” to police chiefs and can’t produce grammatically correct official statements would make a better mayor of your city, then you’ve hit rock bottom.

Via: National Post

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The Rob Ford Reality Show, Ford Nation, is Cancelled… And Other News

Rob Ford Nation

Times are tough for Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and his Ford Nation.

Just one day after having his mayoral powers stripped by the Toronto City Council, Sun News Network cancelled his reality show Ford Nation after just one episode. Ford Nation’s debut episode (and I guess the series finale) aired on Monday night and featured the crack-smoking mayor and his brother Doug, who sits on the city council. The hour long show was basically just the Fords going back and forth about the media’s obsession with the mayor and his crack-smoking, p*ssy eating, drunk-driving ways. But even that was not enough to draw more than 155,000 viewers and Ford Nation was quickly sacked. Hollywood Reporter

Burger King IndiaIndians are about to get a little fatter and a little more American. Burger King has just announced that it will be expanding its franchises into India. Ever since the first McDonald’s opened in 1996, fast food places have been popping up all over the country – and Burger King wants a piece of the action. “India is a market with huge potential for Burger King restaurants and we have the chance to offer the unique Burger King brand proposition to its consumers with our own local twist to the menu,” said Elias Diaz Sese, president of BK AsiaPac Pte. Ltd. No word yet on whether the fast food giant will sell its signature Whopper or other beef burgers. When McDonalds broke into the market they dropped beef and pork from menus, in keeping with the religious practices of Hindus and Muslims, and added such India specific items: the McVeggie sandwich and the Spicy Paneer Wrap. Authentic Indian food – yum! Wall Street Journal

Afghan DealIs the war in Afghanistan coming to an end? No, it’s the war that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend, some people started fighting it not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue fighting it forever just because…no one is pulling out the troops – not even after 2014. The US and Afghanistan have reached a security agreement about life after 2014. Well, they haven’t so much as reached an agreement as they’ve agreed to the text of a security agreement – the real thing still needs to be drafted up and officially accepted by Afghan leaders and the Afghan parliament.  The approval of the security agreement would pave the way for a small number of Americans troops to remain on the ground in Afghanistan beyond 2014 – as long as they are given immunity from Afghan courts. Otherwise, they are out of there! But according to White House spokesman Jay Carney, these remaining soldiers would have a very limited mission. “The war in Afghanistan will end next year, as the president has promised,” Carney said. “The combat mission will be over.” CNN

Texas Abortion LawThe Texas abortion law is here to stay… for now. The U.S. Supreme Court refuses to stop a restrictive abortion law in Texas, meaning the law, which opponents say have led more than a third of the state’s clinics to stop providing abortions, will remain in effect until a planned appeal hearing in January. “This is good news for the unborn and for women,” Texas Gov. Rick Perry said after the decision. Minus the women with unwanted pregnancies… The restrictive law, which will effectively close abortion clinics in much of the state, has sparked a fierce debate – mainly between Gov. Rick Perry and State Senator Wendy Davis who filibustered the bill for 11 hours in June. USA Today

SmartiesSmarties are the new gateway drug – or Rockets if you’re from Canada. A third grader was suspended after he crushed up some Smarties/Rockets into powder and snorted them. Nine-year-old Demitri Santiago got the idea from watching another classmate sniffing candy powder. The third grader’s mom chalked up the incident to childhood curiosity but also wants to warn other parents about the dangerous new trend. “Anything going up the nose and especially candy – anything is terribly dangerous,” she said. Kids today… 11Alive News

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Methodist Pastor Breaks Church Law… And Other News

Methodist Gay Son

A United Methodist pastor was convicted of breaking church law after he officiated at his gay son’s wedding.

After weeks of cross-examinations, witnesses and evidence, Rev. Frank Schaefer was found guilty of violating the faith on Monday by a 13-member jury of fellow Methodist pastors. More specifically, the charges were “conducting a ceremony that celebrates same-sex unions” and showing “disobedience to the order and discipline of the United Methodist Church.” Now the jury must decide Rev. Frank Schaefer’s penalty, which could range from a short suspension to losing all of his ministerial credentials.  Schaefer was the first of five Methodist ministers to be accused by church officials of violating the church doctrine on same-sex marriage and is no stranger to the gays – three of the pastor’s four children are gay. AP

Bynes SelfieAnd the word of the year is… selfie. Oxford English Dictionary paid tribute to narcissistic duck-faced teenagers everywhere by announcing ‘selfie” as the word of year, beating out ‘twerk’ and ‘bitcoin’. “It seems like everyone who is anyone has posted a selfie somewhere on the Internet,” wrote Oxford English Dictionary on its blog. “If it is good enough for the Obamas or the pope, then it is good enough for Word of the Year.” The dictionary’s publishers believe that ‘selfie’ first appeared in an Australian chat room on September 13, 2002, by an Australian who posted a drunken photo of his bleeding lip. And now it’s officially a word, meaning: “A photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.” CNN

NSAThe NSA is dealing with a large number of record requests. Fueled by the Edward Snowden scandal, more and more Americans are want to know if they’re being spied on. The NSA has been flooded with requests but they continue to give the same answer: we can’t tell you. Anyone requesting open records gets a standard pre-written letter in response that says NSA cannot confirm or deny any information has been gathered. Considering the Supreme Court recently upheld the controversial spying program, there are sure to be even more requests in the future. So I’ll just save everybody a lot of time by saying yes, you are being spied on, and no, they didn’t find anything interesting. USA Today

Rob Ford BlueRob Ford to become a born again Christian? Toronto’s crack smoking mayor has announced that he had a “come to Jesus moment” and he is “finished” with alcohol. No word yet on if he’s finished with crack, but at least this is a step in the right direction! So why did Jesus come to him and tell him to put down his keg? “Just the humiliation and the belittling and the people I’ve let down,” Ford said. “And it’s all because of alcohol. Excessive, stupid, immature behavior and that’s it.” Ford also vowed an “outright war” on city councillors who voted to further limit his powers, calling them Saddam Hussein – which would of course make him Kuwait. “You guys have just attacked Kuwait,” he said. So now he’s Kuwait, the White Obama, and a non-drinker? Yeah, he definitely hasn’t given up the crack. BBC News

DoodnaughtEveryone’s worst nightmare has come true – a doctor who fondles you while you’re sedated! A Superior Court judge has found Dr. George Doodnaught, a Toronto anesthesiologist, guilty of sexually assaulting 21 women while they were under conscious sedation in a hospital. Dr. Doodnaught (soon to be Prisoner Doodnaught) was known around the hospital as being touchy-feely – no kidding – and is believed to have been turned on by the excitement and risk of molesting his patients. Dr. George Doodnaught’s misconduct ranged from touching and breast fondling to having the women perform oral sex during surgeries at North York General Hospital. Since they were relatively unconscious, I assume that means he just placed his penis in their mouths. Whatever works for you… CBC News

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Nazi Art Owner Refused To Give Up Loot… And Other News

Nazi Art Collector

Who knew Nazi art owners would be difficult to deal with?

The German art collector found to have a Nazi art trove in his Munich apartment says he isn’t willing to return any of the looted art to previous owners, including pieces taken from Jews. 80-year-old Cornelius Gurlitt’s wartime stash, comprised of 1,400 works – many of which were believed to be destroyed – is thought to be worth $1.35 billion. Gurlitt’s father was a Nazi art dealer who sold art that had been confiscated or bought by the Nazis – but apparently he kept quite a few for himself and passed them down to his son who now refuses to give them up. “I won’t freely give anything back, no, no,” Cornelius Gurlitt, 80, said to German weekly Der, “When I’m dead they can do with them what they want.” Well, that shouldn’t be too long from now. Wall Street Journal

PAris GunmanThe manhunt is on – Paris style – after a gunman opened fire at a newspaper office, shooting a photographer’s assistant twice. The gunmen then fled the scene and forced a motorist to drive him to the Champs Elysees. Another gunman – or very possibly the same gunman – also opened fire at the bank Societe Generale, but there were no injuries reported. In another incident on Friday – which may or may not be related – a gunman broke into BFMTV on Friday and threatened journalists with a gun before leaving. Either this guy’s been really busy over the last few days or a lot of people in Paris hate journalists. BBC News

Shocked LionsLion on lion violence at the Dallas Zoo! Every cat owner’s worst nightmare happened at the Dallas Zoo on Sunday when one of the lions attacked and killed a lioness in the exhibit. A 5-year-old lioness was bitten on the neck by one of the male lions and died after about 10 minutes. Zoo officials are baffled over the incident, which occurred in full view of zoo visitors. “I would have to think something caused the males to react that they don’t normally see every day,” the zoo’s vice president of animal operations and welfare said. “Lions can be aggressive, but they don’t kill each other.” For now, officials say the male and female lions will be placed in separate exhibits until they can figure out what the problem was. USA Today

Zimmerman ViolenceSpeaking of domestic violence, Neighbourhood Watch’s Poster Boy George Zimmerman has been arrested in Florida on domestic violence charges after allegedly pointing a gun at his girlfriend. The incident, which took place at his unnamed girlfriend’s home in central Florida, isn’t the first time police have been called in to settle a Zimmerman-related domestic dispute. Earlier this summer police investigated a domestic dispute between Zimmerman and his wife Shellie Zimmerman after she filed for divorce. Quick temper? Check. Reckless use of a gun? Check. No jail time served? Check. Sounds like Zimmerman! CNN

Rob Ford Knocks Over CouncillorToronto Mayor Rob Ford has issued another apology – this time for knocking over a City Council member and giving her a fat lip. As the Toronto City Council debated limiting the cracked-out mayor’s powers even further in the wake of the ongoing crack scandal, Rob Ford bulldozed into Toronto City Councillor Pam McConnell, knocking her off her feet. Ford wasn’t rushing over because someone was waving around a crack-laced Big Mac as many first assumed. No, he was rushing over to help out his brother, Doug Ford, who was apparently in an altercation/shouting match with a heckler. “It was a complete accident,” Ford said. “I sincerely apologize.” NBC News

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What’s New With Toronto’s Crack Smoking Mayor?

Crack Smoking Mayor

Rob Ford, Toronto’s notorious crack smoking mayor spent his weekend making the rounds at U.S. news outlets.


The 44-year-old heart attack waiting to happen told U.S. broadcasters that he is “seeking professional help” but insisted he was “not an addict.” Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, so Toronto’s crack smoking mayor has already flunked the program.

But while Ford is in denial about his substance abuse, he’s willing to work on his fitness in order to shed a few pounds/tonnes. Ford says he’s been hitting the gym for two hours every day and is adamant that people will notice his new rock hard body.

“If you don’t see a difference in the next four (or) five months then I have to eat my words,” he told Fox News.

Well, I’d rather see him eat his words than the other stuff he’s been eating more than enough of at home


Over at CNN, Rob Ford continued his denial train, insisting that he would have admitted to smoking crack cocaine long before his eventual admission, but no one asked him the right question.

“If someone would have said, came up to me and said, ‘Have you ever smoked crack? Have you ever smoked weed? I would have said, ‘Yeah, I have,’ ” Ford said. “But when you come and accuse me of being a crack addict and say, ‘Do you smoke crack?’ No I don’t. Have I? Yeah, OK. Have I drank, have I acted like an idiot when I drank? Yeah, I did.”

Even though reporters asked him numerous times over the last few months if he ever smoked crack while mayor, Ford is doing what he does best: sticking to his story until photographic evidence pops up.


Toronto’s crack smoking mayor also revealed to Fox News that he thinks he’s got what it takes to run for Prime Minister one day.

“Yes one day I do want to run for Prime Minister. Most definitely I can. You know we all make mistakes and we move on. All I can do is apologize which I have done profusely.”

Apparently if you apologize enough for smoking crack, lying about smoking crack, drinking and driving, lying about drinking and driving, public drunkenness, and, of course, lying about public drunkenness – then all is forgiven and your political career becomes a blank slate. Good to know. Maybe one day I too can run for Prime Minister.

And according to Rob Ford’s brother and city councilor Doug Ford, Rob Ford totally has what it takes to be Prime Minister because he’s the White Obama.

“Everyone keeps saying Rob’s a conservative. He’s a HUGE, MASSIVE social liberal. He LOVES Obama. The headlines of the papers when he won? ‘The White Obama.’ ”

Ok – that headline may have appeared on the Ford Family Christmas letter, but it definitely didn’t make any Canadian newspapers.


Meanwhile, Rob Ford had an awkward Monday morning at work. The Toronto City Council has spent their day furiously trying to figure out how to limit the powers of the crack smoking mayor  – or doing what Doug Ford calls a third world “coup d’état” in a “kangaroo court.”

Three days ago, the council voted overwhelmingly in favour of stripping the mayor of his ability to appoint and dismiss the deputy mayor and committee chairs and also removed his ability to exercise emergency powers. Now they’re trying to scale back the mayor’s office budget and delegate additional powers to the deputy mayor.

But Rob Ford is not giving up that easy.

“I’m going to continue to fight for the little guy. I’m going to continue to save taxpayers money. And if the councillors want to strip all my powers, that’s up to them,” Ford said.

Looks like it will be harder than the City Council thought to push Rob Ford out of office. Maybe once he sheds a few pounds it’ll be easier.

Via: CBC News

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Jenna Jameson Returns to Porn… And Other News

Jenna Jameson

Because oxycontin’s only cheap if you don’t do it ten times a day, Jenna Jameson announced she will be returning to the porn industry after vowing in 2008 to “never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever.”

But times got tough for Jenna Jameson – her husband beat her, she got divorced, she lost her house to foreclosure  – and now she must find a way to feed her family / oxycontin addiction the only way she knows how: porn. The 39-year-old porn star is now doing some webcam work, stripping and performing sex acts online in exchange for tips. Considering that 20 years of banging on camera left Jenna Jameson looking like a weathered tranny, she should probably start thinking of some backup plans (aside from her erotic novel). Huffington Post

50 Shades of HerpesSpeaking of inanimate objects that have been passed around a few too many times and are dripping in STDs, Belgian scientists recently found a library copy of Fifty Shades of Grey that has herpes.  Two professors in Belgium decided to perform toxicology and bacterial screenings on the 10 most popular books at the Antwerp library. The results? The popular erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey tested positive for trace amount of the herpes virus and all 10 of the books contained traces of cocaine. The amounts were not high enough that people would get high or contract herpes from touching Fifty Shades of Grey, but were definitely enough to consider investing in your own copy. Or you can just wait until Valentine’s Day 2015 when the movie is out and spend your night quietly masturbating in the theatre. Gawker

Brian Wilson BeardNo razor? No Yankees! The New New Yankees have a strict Steinbrenner-era facial hair policy, which requires neatly groomed mustaches and NO hair below the lip. General Manager Brian Cashman revealed that the team had shown interest in Brian Wilson, the eccentric former San Francisico Giants closer known for his wildly unkempt beard. Wilson, however, reportedly refused to shave his facial hair in order to join the team. He also reportedly turned down a $1 million offer from a razor company to shave it off. Cashman’s response? “Cross him off the list.” Well, he could always try out for Duck Dynasty. NY Daily News

Whitey Mob BossBoston mob boss James “Whitey” Bulgar has been handed two life sentences plus five years by a court in Boston after being convicted of racketeering, extortion, money laundering, obstruction of justice, narcotics distribution, and participation in eleven murders. Did they really need to tack on the extra five years? According to U.S. District Judge Denise Casper, yes. “The scope, the callousness, the depravity of your crimes are almost unfathomable. Your crimes are made all the more heinous because they are all about money,” she said. The 84-year-old mobster, who prosecutors described as a “sociopath,” had been on the FBI’s most wanted list alongside Osama bin Laden for sixteen years before being arrested by the FBI in 2011. BBC News

Rob Ford and WifeToronto Mayor / heart attack waiting to happen Rob Ford has apologized for the “unforgivable language” about oral sex he used on Thursday in remarks made to reporters. Hours after telling the world he doesn’t want to eat his staffer’s “pussy” because he’s “got more than enough to eat at home,” he appeared again before reporters to apologize. Oh, and he dragged his wife along too. “When you attack my integrity as a father and as a husband, I see red. Today I acted on complete impulse in my remarks,” Ford told reporters while his humiliated wife, who was probably wishing she was dead, stood at his side. Ford also said he was under “tremendous stress” and was “receiving support from a team of health care professionals.” Nothing that a little crack smoking and pussy eating won’t cure! The Toronto Star

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Mayor Rob Ford Makes Graphic Remarks at Media Scrum

Rob Ford Media Scrum

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford should probably stop talking (and eating – but that’s a whole other story). The latest news surrounding the crack smoking mayor is that he announced during a profanity-ridden media scrum that he’s taking legal action against staffers for crack and prostitution allegations.

A profane media scrum aired live on television left journalists vomiting in their notebooks and viewers ripping out their eardrums.

Rob Ford made some graphic remarks while defending himself against his drug use (old news) and his prostitution use (new news!). Ford threatened legal action against former chief of staff Mark Towhey and others following the release of court documents, which revealed that his staffers told police they thought a young blonde friend of his was a prostitute – among other things.

“I don’t appreciate people calling Alana a prostitute, I never had a prostitute here, I’m very happily married at home,” he said. “She’s a friend and it makes me sick that people are saying this.”

Ford also denied saying “I want to eat your pussy” to a former female staffer, another allegation contained in the court documents.

“I’m happily married, I have more than enough to eat at home,” he said.

And that’s the moment everyone threw up.

Ford also threatened to sue a waiter from the Bier Markt who claimed Ford was doing lines of coke on St. Patrick’s Day, 2012.

However, there was one allegation that Ford owned up to: drinking and driving.

“I might have had some drinks and driven, which is absolutely wrong.”

“I’m not perfect.. I know none of you guys have ever, ever had a drink and gotten behind the wheel. I know that,” he told the group of reporters at the media scrum.

When asked by reporters if he was considering taking a leave of absence, Ford replied, “You guys can take a leave of absence!”

Great comeback.

Via: CBC News

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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Also Buys Illegal Drugs

Illegal Drugs Rob Ford

Big surprise. After already admitting to smoking crack cocaine while in office and struggling with alcohol, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has now admitted to buying illegal drugs in the past two years. At least we know he’s not a moocher!

Rob Ford promised a “rumble in the jungle” before appearing before the city council, who were voting on whether or not the scandal-ridden mayor should take a leave of absence to deal with his personal problems. Instead, they got him to admit that he has bought illegal drugs within the past two years.

Councillor Denzil Minnan-Wong, who put forth the motion asking Ford to temporarily step aside, asked:

“Have you purchased illegal drugs in the past two years?”

After a long pause, Ford replied, “Yes I have.”

I’m humiliated by it, but I can’t change the past,” said Ford. “All I can do is move on and that’s what I’m doing.”

Toronto city council members also voted 41-2 in favour of asking Rob Ford to step down. Unfortunately, the vote was symbolic pointless, as the council has no real authority to remove the mayor from power. Only the mayor (or criminal charges) can do that and Ford shows no signs of stopping. The crack-smoking mayor insisted on remaining in office, telling the council, “I’m definitely keeping this job. I am not leaving here.”

As hundreds of protesters chanted “resign” outside of Toronto’s City Hall and hundreds more lined up to receive commemorative Rob Ford bobbleheads, the mayor pledged to stay on as mayor and reaffirmed his plans to run for re-election in October 2014.

Councillor Denzil Minnian-Wong, who is also thinking of a mayoral run in 2014, was not impressed with his competition.

“People who live in this city will be paying for the damage caused by terrible judgment, serial deception and rampant ego for a long while to come,” Minnian-Wong said.

“I’m so tired of waking up in the morning and wondering: ‘What will it be today?’

Really? I’m not tired of it at all. And judging from the current pace of things, tomorrow’s headline will probably be “Rob Ford: Baby-Stealing, Kitten-Eating Drug Dealer”.

Via: The National Post

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