Tag Archives: Toronto Mayoral Election

Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford Quits Mayoral Race

Current Event Cat - Ford Quits Mayoral Race

Torontonians will no longer have to struggle with the decision of whether Ford more years of terrible leadership is worth Ford more years of hilarious crack stories. Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford has officially withdrawn his name from the Toronto mayoral race – but surprisingly not because of his alcoholism and crack use.

In light of the pseudo-mayor’s recent health problems, Ford’s campaign pulled a surprise move on Friday just before the 2 p.m. candidate deadline and submitted paperwork to take his name off the ballot for the Oct. 27 vote.

But that’s not the end of the Fords. Rob Ford’s brother, Councillor Doug Ford, is replacing him in the Toronto mayoral race. Essentially, Toronto is now facing it’s worst possible nightmare: a healthier, more sober, more aggressive Ford running for mayor. But luckily, Doug doesn’t have the same kind of “star quality” or cult following that his brother did. Back in May, a Forum Research poll suggested that Doug Ford would fare considerably worse in the mayoral race than his brother, who was polling in second place, behind John Tory but ahead of Olivia Chow, when stomach pain sent him to the hospital Wednesday.

As for the fate of Rob Ford, the crack-addict is currently holed up in Mt. Sinai Hospital with what doctors are calling an abdominal tumour.

Doug Ford told the Toronto Sun that the mayor could be facing “a surgery and chemotherapy and could be on his back for six to eight weeks” and his brother “is in for the fight of his life.”

And unlike the fight for the mayoral seat, this is one fight where crack use and drunken stupors won’t improve your chances of success.

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Sarah Thomson Out-Cracks Rob Ford With A New Transit Video

Sarah THomson Rob Ford

When you’re running a mayoral race against an overweight alcoholic crackhead who’s currently in rehab, it’s pretty hard to make yourself look like the dumbest candidate. Unless, of course, you’re Sarah Thomson…

Toronto Mayoral candidate Sarah Thomson, who ran for mayor in 2010 and later accused Rob Ford of grabbing her butt at an event, is back in the race for 2014 – but this time she brought her A F game. Trading in a more traditional hairstyle for dreadlocks after the last election, Thomson said she will be “keeping it real” this time around.

Hoping to “keep it real” while at the same time hammer home her $25 billion transit plan dubbed “Tunnel Toronto”, Sarah Thomson has unleashed a new music video so cringeworthy that it makes Rob Ford’s “more than enough to eat at home” comment seem almost charming.

Sung to the music of Pitbull and Kesha’s hit song “Timber,” the new transit video features Thomson singing about her tunnel plan with another singer she identifies as “White Kanye.” The remixed version of the song was rewritten to drive home the point that underground transportation (i.e. subways) is the way to go.

“White Kanye” would rather remain anonymous for the time being – for reasons that will become obvious once you watch the video:

When asked why anyone would ever think this was a good idea to promote subway expansion, Thomson told CP24:

“We were just brainstorming on how we could get the message of the need to go underground out… and reaching a broader demographic and we thought ‘why not a music video.’”

I’ll do whatever it takes to inspire people to invest in transit expansion,” Thomson said.

Unfortunately, “whatever it takes” involves making Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford look like the sane choice.

(Dedicated to Charissa, a card-carrying Conservative)

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