Tag Archives: Toronto

Sarah Thomson Out-Cracks Rob Ford With A New Transit Video

Sarah THomson Rob Ford

When you’re running a mayoral race against an overweight alcoholic crackhead who’s currently in rehab, it’s pretty hard to make yourself look like the dumbest candidate. Unless, of course, you’re Sarah Thomson…

Toronto Mayoral candidate Sarah Thomson, who ran for mayor in 2010 and later accused Rob Ford of grabbing her butt at an event, is back in the race for 2014 – but this time she brought her A F game. Trading in a more traditional hairstyle for dreadlocks after the last election, Thomson said she will be “keeping it real” this time around.

Hoping to “keep it real” while at the same time hammer home her $25 billion transit plan dubbed “Tunnel Toronto”, Sarah Thomson has unleashed a new music video so cringeworthy that it makes Rob Ford’s “more than enough to eat at home” comment seem almost charming.

Sung to the music of Pitbull and Kesha’s hit song “Timber,” the new transit video features Thomson singing about her tunnel plan with another singer she identifies as “White Kanye.” The remixed version of the song was rewritten to drive home the point that underground transportation (i.e. subways) is the way to go.

“White Kanye” would rather remain anonymous for the time being – for reasons that will become obvious once you watch the video:

When asked why anyone would ever think this was a good idea to promote subway expansion, Thomson told CP24:

“We were just brainstorming on how we could get the message of the need to go underground out… and reaching a broader demographic and we thought ‘why not a music video.’”

I’ll do whatever it takes to inspire people to invest in transit expansion,” Thomson said.

Unfortunately, “whatever it takes” involves making Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford look like the sane choice.

(Dedicated to Charissa, a card-carrying Conservative)

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford’s Latest Crack Video (And More!)

Current Event Cat - Rob Ford Rehab

Mayor Rob Ford, the pride of Toronto’s crack-smoking community, announced last night that he’s taking a leave of absence to check into rehab for a “substance abuse” problem.

Rob Ford said he is “ready to take a break” from his reelection campaign and “go get help” after a new video surfaced of him allegedly smoking crack in his sister’s basement.

Ford previously laughed off the idea of rehab, maintaining that he doesn’t use drugs… anymore. In fact, just a few weeks ago when asked directly if he was continuing to use drugs, Ford said: “You guys ask stupid questions.” But now a new crack-smoking video plus a new drunken audio clip have apparently done the trick and Ford has finally decided to get some help save what’s left of his reelection campaign.

Rob Ford Rehab TripThe latest crack video, which was secretly filmed by a drug dealer in the basement of Ford’s sister’s home this past Saturday around 1am, shows the mayor making a drag of what appears to be crack cocaine from a “long copper-coloured pipe,” exhaling a cloud of smoke and frantically shaking his right hand. Viewed by two reporters for the Globe and Mail, the video stars a man that looks like Alessandro “Sandro” Lisi, the mayor’s former driver who has been charged with drug dealing and extortion, Ford’s sister, Kathy, who has admitted in media interviews to being a drug addict, Mayor Ford, and of course some crack pipes. The dealer claims he’s got three videos of Rob Ford smoking crack and he wants six figures for all of them. Since when did secretly filming videos of Rob Ford become more lucrative than dealing drugs?

While the Globe and Mail was preoccupied watching crack videos, the Toronto Sun was busy obtaining secret audio recordings of Mayor Ford (presumably in one of his drunken stupors) at an Etobicoke bar on Monday night.

On the recording, Ford is overheard saying he would not be able to vote for Ontario Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak because he agrees with “all the gays.”

Ford is also heard to say “I’d like to f—– jam her” when asked about mayoral candidate Karen Stintz.

Jam her? I thought he had more than enough to eat at home? Unless by jam her he meant knock her down in the middle of a council meeting like he did with Coun. Pam McConnell – in which case that’s… still pretty awful.

With the Globe and Mail and the Toronto Sun getting all the hot Rob Ford scoops, the Toronto Star was feeling a bit left out. Solution? Add Justin Bieber into the mix! The Star is now reporting that Justin Bieber enraged Rob Ford by “jokingly” asking the mayor “Did you bring any crack to smoke?” when the two met at the night club Muzik on March 15. Rob Ford apparently partied until 5am that night, drank to excess, and at one point went to a private washroom. He emerged 45 minutes later and was incoherent and rambling.

But despite his continued crack addiction, his offensive comments about… everyone, and his drunken fights with teen pop stars, Rob Ford insists he’s going to stay on the ballot for the October mayoral election.  I guess his new re-election campaign will now shift from focusing on the importance of giving second chances to the importance of giving third chances.

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Dr. Seuss Book Deemed “Too Violent” For Toronto Public Library

Hop on Pop Library

STOP. You Must Not Hop on Pop. Or at least according to one library patron who believes that Dr. Seuss’s beloved 1963 children’s book Hop on Pop should be banned from the Toronto Public Library because of the book’s violent themes.

The popular picture book was one of seven books that patrons with too much time on their hands have asked the Toronto Public Library to remove from its collection over the past year.

In Hop on Pop’s case, the patron complained that “it was violent and encouraged children to be violent with their fathers.” The crazed Torontonian library buzzkill not only recommended the book be removed, but also requested the Toronto Public Library apologize to Greater Toronto Area fathers and pay damages resulting from the book’s violent message. Someone must have had a rough hop on pop experience…

Despite the bizarre demand to ban Hop on Pop because it “encourages children to use violence against their fathers,” the Toronto Public Library rejected the request after careful consideration because the story actually advises children against hopping on their fathers.

“The children are actually told not to hop on pop,” reads a recently released report by the library’s Materials Review Committee.

The annual list of patron requests to reconsider material on Toronto library shelves averages about half a dozen. This year, in addition to Hop on Pop, anonymous library users also demanded the following books be banned: the children’s book Lizzy’s Lion the 2012 movie That’s My Boy, starring Adam Sandler, the 1983 romance novel A Kiss, Killing Kennedy by Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, and “Complete Hindi,” an adult language learning kit.

The committee rejected all of the requests.

Maybe next year instead of publishing the names of the “shocking and disturbing” books, they should release the names of the anonymous library patrons requesting their removal…

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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Defends The Biebs

Bieber in Toronto Biebs

Toronto’s crack-smoking mayor knows what it’s like to come out of a drunken stupor and realize you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble, so it’s no surprise that Ford is backing up the Biebs.

Justin Bieber is back in Toronto to turn himself in after being charged with assaulting a limousine driver last month. According to police, the limo picked up the Biebs and five wannabe Biebers outside a nightclub in the early hours of 30 December.

“While driving the group to a hotel, an altercation occurred between one of the passengers and the driver of the limousine,” a police statement said.

“In the course of the altercation, a man struck the limousine driver on the back of the head several times.

“The driver stopped the limousine, exited the vehicle and called police. The man who struck him left the scene before police arrived.”

Bieber was subsequently charged with one count of assault, or what Rob Ford calls child’s play.

Bieber turned himself in at a Toronto police station on Wednesday amid swarming paparazzi and screaming girls. The pop star/Canada’s worst export is scheduled to appear in court in Toronto on March 10.

This latest arrest comes just a week after the Biebs was arrested and charged for driving under the influence in Florida. Law enforcement sources are now saying that the Biebs tested positive for alchohol, marijuana and Xanax. New reports also reveal that Bieber was “excited,” “talkative,” “insulting” and “cocky” and “used profanity”. That sounds about right.

But while the whole world is laughing at Bieber’s downwards spiral, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford – who coincidently was also arrested in Miami, Florida back in 1999 for driving under the influence and possessing marijuana – refuses to slam the singer.

“You know what, he’s a young guy,” Ford told the radio hosts on Thursday, “At 19 years old I wish I was as successful as he was.”

“He’s 19 years old guys, think back to when you were 19, you know.”

If Rob Ford is out smoking crack, drinking and driving, and shouting death threats at half the city at 44 years old, I hate to think what he was like at 19.

Biebs Ford

Via: The Globe and Mail

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Can Toronto Handle Ford More Years?

Ford More Years

With his new campaign slogan: Ford More Years, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford filed to put his name on the ballot for another run.

It looks like the crack-smoking, p*ssy eating saga will continue for Torontonians after Mayor Rob Ford officially filed his nomination papers to re-run for Mayor in 2014. Ford, who was the first candidate to arrive at City Hall on Thursday, thinks he’s got a pretty good shot, despite his somewhat turbulent behaviour over the last year.

“I’ve got the strongest track record, I’ve been the best mayor this city has ever had,” Ford told reporters shortly after submitting his nomination papers for the Oct. 27 municipal election.

Well, that’s a bold statement. Must be the crack talking. But you never know… Former DC Mayor Marion Barry also got caught in a hotel room smoking crack with a hooker and won re-election in the 1990s with the slogan: He May Not Be Perfect, But He’s Perfect for D.C.

If anything, Ford’s Ford More Years campaign will be interesting to watch – especially since his brother Doug has taken up the position of Campaign Manager. And don’t forget about the debates! Ford has promised to debate anyone anytime, anywhere – including someone’s backyard. And instead of promising change for the future, Ford has suggested that he won’t do anything differently.

“I’m going to continue doing what I’ve been doing, watching every dime that’s being spent,” he said.

So now Torontonians have ten months to decide if they want to disband the Ford Nation or see Ford More Years of international ridicule. Or the Toronto police can decide for them and charge the Mayor Ford with a crack-related crime…

Via: CBC News

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Current Event Cat of the Day: Rob Ford and His Crack Tape

Current Event Cat - Crack Tape Allegations

It’s been a quiet couple of weeks on the Rob Ford front (relatively speaking), but now the crackhead mayor is back in the headlines denying the latest allegations that he tried to purchase his infamous crack tape.

Information released Wednesday from police wiretaps has left Toronto Mayor Rob Ford sweating even more than usual. While wiretapping cellphone conversations during a drug-trafficking investigation, police overheard a number of conversations regarding the crack smoking mayor.

Heroin Use

Crack may not be the mayor’s only drug of choice. Sketchy characters were overheard on the police wiretaps saying that they have photographs of Mayor Rob Ford “doing the hezza,” or heroin.

Hanging out at Crack Houses

Police documents reveal that the house where Ford was photographed with three suspected gang members is, in fact, a crack house. Wiretap interceptions revealed someone was called to the house on April 20 because the mayor “wants some drugs.” That person was later heard saying that Ford had been “smoking his rocks” that day at the house.

Losing his Phone at a Crack House

According to police documents, Rob Ford may have lost his cellphone at the crack house a month before video of him smoking the drug hit the Internet – contradicting his earlier story about losing his phone at a community event. Maybe it was a community event at a crack house?

Attempting to Purchase Crack Tape

The documents also suggest that Ford made an offer to the men attempting to sell the video to Gawker and the Star. According to the video’s owner, Mohamed Siad, Ford offered him $5,000 and a car in exchange for the crack tape. But Siad and his fellow Somali gang leaders thought the video was worth more, suggesting they should ask for $150k.

Ford Fights Back!

Despite being dangerously dehydrated due to his profuse sweating (and possibly crack use), Ford is fighting back against these new accusations.

When asked about his attempt to purchase the crack tape, Mayor Ford told a Washington radio station, “Number one, that’s an outright lie and number two, you can talk to my lawyers about it.”

Ford also vehementently denied that the house he bought drugs at was a crack house.

That is not a crack house,” Ford told Toronto Coun. Michael Thompson when questioned about the residence. “Have you visited the house? Have you walked in the house? No you haven’t … So you’re listening, you’re listening to what the media says?”

As for the heroin use, Rob Ford didn’t comment. Most likely because it happened during one of his drnken stupors and he couldn’t remember if he shot up or not.

Via: CBC News

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Florida Sheriff: This Isn’t Toronto!

Florida Mayor Toronto Mayor

A Florida sheriff has taken Toronto’s embarrassment over their crack-smoking mayor to a new level. After arresting Barry Layne Moore, the mayor of Hampton, Florida, for allegedly procuring and selling prescription drugs, the sheriff declared, “This isn’t Toronto!” When Florida is making fun of you, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

A warrant for Barry Layne Moore was issued on Monday and he was promptly arrested. The local politician faces charges of selling a Schedule I or II drug, as well as possession of a Schedule I or II drug. His drug of choice? OxyCodone. Kind of reminds you of the time Rob Ford offered to “try” and help a constituent score OxyContin

The official Sheriff’s statement read:

This isn’t Toronto. We will not tolerate illegal drug activity, in my jurisdiction, by anyone to include [sic] our elected officials.”

As for the sheriff’s opinion of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, he told CP24:

“He just keeps making a mockery of the good people of Toronto.”

“It’s an embarrassment…this guy is full of excuses and stupidity.”

“You just don’t smoke crack one time.” Sheriff Smith continued. “I wanna give a shout-out to your police chief, I think he’s  a stand-up guy, and if he had any way to put [Mayor Ford] in jail I believe he would….this guy is not going to quit.”

Correction: when even the sheriff of a northern Florida town with a population of 500 who gives “shout-outs” to police chiefs and can’t produce grammatically correct official statements would make a better mayor of your city, then you’ve hit rock bottom.

Via: National Post

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What’s New With Toronto’s Crack Smoking Mayor?

Crack Smoking Mayor

Rob Ford, Toronto’s notorious crack smoking mayor spent his weekend making the rounds at U.S. news outlets.

SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP & GETTING RIPPED

The 44-year-old heart attack waiting to happen told U.S. broadcasters that he is “seeking professional help” but insisted he was “not an addict.” Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem, so Toronto’s crack smoking mayor has already flunked the program.

But while Ford is in denial about his substance abuse, he’s willing to work on his fitness in order to shed a few pounds/tonnes. Ford says he’s been hitting the gym for two hours every day and is adamant that people will notice his new rock hard body.

“If you don’t see a difference in the next four (or) five months then I have to eat my words,” he told Fox News.

Well, I’d rather see him eat his words than the other stuff he’s been eating more than enough of at home

DENYING HIS DENIAL ABOUT SMOKING CRACK

Over at CNN, Rob Ford continued his denial train, insisting that he would have admitted to smoking crack cocaine long before his eventual admission, but no one asked him the right question.

“If someone would have said, came up to me and said, ‘Have you ever smoked crack? Have you ever smoked weed? I would have said, ‘Yeah, I have,’ ” Ford said. “But when you come and accuse me of being a crack addict and say, ‘Do you smoke crack?’ No I don’t. Have I? Yeah, OK. Have I drank, have I acted like an idiot when I drank? Yeah, I did.”

Even though reporters asked him numerous times over the last few months if he ever smoked crack while mayor, Ford is doing what he does best: sticking to his story until photographic evidence pops up.

RUNNING FOR PRIME MINISTER & BEING THE WHITE OBAMA

Toronto’s crack smoking mayor also revealed to Fox News that he thinks he’s got what it takes to run for Prime Minister one day.

“Yes one day I do want to run for Prime Minister. Most definitely I can. You know we all make mistakes and we move on. All I can do is apologize which I have done profusely.”

Apparently if you apologize enough for smoking crack, lying about smoking crack, drinking and driving, lying about drinking and driving, public drunkenness, and, of course, lying about public drunkenness – then all is forgiven and your political career becomes a blank slate. Good to know. Maybe one day I too can run for Prime Minister.

And according to Rob Ford’s brother and city councilor Doug Ford, Rob Ford totally has what it takes to be Prime Minister because he’s the White Obama.

“Everyone keeps saying Rob’s a conservative. He’s a HUGE, MASSIVE social liberal. He LOVES Obama. The headlines of the papers when he won? ‘The White Obama.’ ”

Ok – that headline may have appeared on the Ford Family Christmas letter, but it definitely didn’t make any Canadian newspapers.

GETTING STRIPPED OF ALL HIS MAYORAL POWERS

Meanwhile, Rob Ford had an awkward Monday morning at work. The Toronto City Council has spent their day furiously trying to figure out how to limit the powers of the crack smoking mayor  – or doing what Doug Ford calls a third world “coup d’état” in a “kangaroo court.”

Three days ago, the council voted overwhelmingly in favour of stripping the mayor of his ability to appoint and dismiss the deputy mayor and committee chairs and also removed his ability to exercise emergency powers. Now they’re trying to scale back the mayor’s office budget and delegate additional powers to the deputy mayor.

But Rob Ford is not giving up that easy.

“I’m going to continue to fight for the little guy. I’m going to continue to save taxpayers money. And if the councillors want to strip all my powers, that’s up to them,” Ford said.

Looks like it will be harder than the City Council thought to push Rob Ford out of office. Maybe once he sheds a few pounds it’ll be easier.

Via: CBC News

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Toronto Film Company Centre of Child Pornography Investigation

Child Pornography Investigation

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for Toronto’s reputation and it’s not getting much better. Police have revealed that a Toronto-based film company was the centre of a three-year child pornography investigation.

Toronto police announced that over the course of the investigation, 348 people have been arrested and nearly 400 sexually abused children rescued.

At the heart of the child pornography ring was Toronto-based Azoz Films. The film company allegedly sold DVDs and streamed videos of naked children, which they marketed as “naturist” and claimed the “non-sexually explicit” material was legal in Canada and the U.S. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

With the help of law enforcement from the U.S. and Eastern Europe, Toronto police were able to determine the identities of customers using Azov Films’ databases, leading to a series of raids and arrests of purchasers of child pornography around the world.

“It is alleged that officers located hundreds of thousands of images and videos detailing horrific sexual acts against very young children – some of the worst they have ever viewed,” police told reporters.

Among the 348 people arrested in the international child sex abuse investigation were 40 teachers, six law enforcement personnel, nine pastors or priests and a few doctors and nurses. Translation: don’t trust your kids with anyone.

The owner of Azov Films, Canadian Brian Way, 42, has been in custody since his arrest in May 2011, and his company has since been shut down. The investigation, however, known as Project Spade, is still ongoing and police are certain that more arrests will be made – so stop watching child pornography, you perverts.

Via: CNN

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Mayor Rob Ford Makes Graphic Remarks at Media Scrum

Rob Ford Media Scrum

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford should probably stop talking (and eating – but that’s a whole other story). The latest news surrounding the crack smoking mayor is that he announced during a profanity-ridden media scrum that he’s taking legal action against staffers for crack and prostitution allegations.

A profane media scrum aired live on television left journalists vomiting in their notebooks and viewers ripping out their eardrums.

Rob Ford made some graphic remarks while defending himself against his drug use (old news) and his prostitution use (new news!). Ford threatened legal action against former chief of staff Mark Towhey and others following the release of court documents, which revealed that his staffers told police they thought a young blonde friend of his was a prostitute – among other things.

“I don’t appreciate people calling Alana a prostitute, I never had a prostitute here, I’m very happily married at home,” he said. “She’s a friend and it makes me sick that people are saying this.”

Ford also denied saying “I want to eat your pussy” to a former female staffer, another allegation contained in the court documents.

“I’m happily married, I have more than enough to eat at home,” he said.

And that’s the moment everyone threw up.

Ford also threatened to sue a waiter from the Bier Markt who claimed Ford was doing lines of coke on St. Patrick’s Day, 2012.

However, there was one allegation that Ford owned up to: drinking and driving.

“I might have had some drinks and driven, which is absolutely wrong.”

“I’m not perfect.. I know none of you guys have ever, ever had a drink and gotten behind the wheel. I know that,” he told the group of reporters at the media scrum.

When asked by reporters if he was considering taking a leave of absence, Ford replied, “You guys can take a leave of absence!”

Great comeback.

Via: CBC News

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