Tag Archives: Zimbabwe

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s Wife Awarded PhD… After Being Enrolled for Two Months

Grace Mugabe

The first lady of Zimbabwe, Grace Mugabe, is not known for her academic intellect, but “somehow” she managed to graduate with a PhD from the University of Zimbabwe.

President Robert Mugabe, who just happens to be chancellor of the University of Zimbabwe, capped his wife last week and awarded her a PhD in sociology. Her thesis, according to the state-owned Herald newspaper, was on the changing social structure and functions of the family.

Grace Mugabe, who is best known for getting knocked up with the president’s child while his first wife, Sally, lay bedridden due to a kidney ailment, can now add doctor to her growing CV, which also includes a dairy business, building a school, and keeping the world economy afloat by going on ridiculous shopping sprees.

News of the first lady’s graduation has come as a surprise to many Zimbaweans, mainly because she was only reported to have enrolled two months ago. Plus, past reports in Zimbabwe said the 49-year-old first lady had dropped out of a correspondence course at the University of London after failing most of the exams with marks as low as 7%.

But according to Grace, she had to work hard for her degree. It seems Grace Mugabe may be just as delusional as her husband, who recently claimed the reason he is not invited to Western summits is because Barack Obama is “afraid of him”. It couldn’t be because of all those human rights abuses, right?

Although, to be fair to Grace, it probably does take a lot of hard work to keep Robert Mugabe’s 90-year-old dick erect. So congrats on your latest accomplishment, Grace! Although, you probably could have just gone to India, paid $50 and gotten the degree in half the time. Plus, you wouldn’t have had to marry a crazed genocidal dictator. But everything is 20/20 in hindsight…

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When Animals Fight Back: Elephant Edition

Elephant Tramples Poacher

The hunter became the hunted when a suspected poacher was trampled to death by an elephant in Zimbabwe after he tried to gun it down.

I’m not saying he deserved it but… he deserved it. The bloody remains of Solomon Manjoro were discovered by park rangers in the Charara National Park in Gatshe-Gatshe, Zimbabwe. The rangers suspected they came across a poaching trip gone wrong. It appeared Manjoro was charged at by the elephant after he entered the game reserve for an illegal hunting trip with a friend. Manjoro was unsuccessful at gunning the elephant down and as a result got trampled to death.

Manjoro was part of a poaching trio. His alleged accomplice Noluck Tafuruka, 29, was later arrested inside the park and charged with illegal possession of a firearm. I guess he didn’t have much “luck”. A third man, Godfrey Shonge, 52, has also been arrested over the poaching incident. The two surviving poachers appeared in court last week to face charges of illegal possession of firearms and of contravention of local wildlife laws.

No word on what happened to the elephant. He’s likely off chilling in the forest writing his tell-all memoir: An Elephant’s Revenge.

In recent years, poaching of elephants and rhinos in wildlife reserves throughout Africa has risen dramatically, driven largely by demand for their ivory tusks and horns. Although Ivory sales were banned in 1989, Ivory is still sold on the black market and business is apparently booming – much to the dismay of the dwindling elephant population.

Via: The Telegraph

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Zimbabwe’s Bank Account Makes Us All Feel Richer (except Zimbabweans…)

Zimbabwe's Bank Account

The U.S economy may have shrunk in the last quarter, but to make us all feel better, check out Zimbabwe’s bank account: $217! I’m richer than Zimbabwe!! We’re all richer than Zimbabwe!! (well maybe not all...)

Zimbabwe’s Finance Minister Tendai Biti has said that the country only had $217 left in the country’s bank account last week after paying civil servants. Although the country did receive $30m of revenue the following day, that’s pretty much the definition of cutting it close.

Biti insists that his statement was taken out on context and he was only trying to show how the country could not afford to finance upcoming elections. Apparently Zimbabwe needs nearly $200m to pay for a referendum on a new constitution, as well as the election. Still, it’s hard to take $217 out of context – poor is poor.

Biti has at least partially blamed the state of Zimbabwe’s bank account on the diamond mining companies who haven’t been paying revenues to the government, but Zimbabwe’s economy has been in shambles since President Robert Mugabe’s infamous land reform programs began in 2000. The move, which basically involved seizing white owned farms, demolished investor confidence in the country, paralysed production, prompted international sanctions and repelled tourists. Since then the country has suffered hyper inflation of 231 million percent! Yeeeikes!

Although relatively more stable now with the power sharing government established in 2008, Zimbabwe still needs to come up with some funds to finance elections this year. Biti’s plan is to approach the international community  and ask donors for cash, but I’ve got a better plan: Check Robert Mugabe’s bank account. I’m sure they’ll find more than $217

Via: The National Post

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