True Love is Over: Courtney and Doug Split! And Other News…

Courtney Stodden and Doug

It’s true – Courtney Stodden and her husband/legal guardian Doug Hutchison have announced their divorce!

If a 16-year-old child bride with triple F boobs and a creepy 50-something-year-old pedophile who made a few movie appearances can’t make it, no one can!! The teen bride, now 19, and her husband of two years have officially confirmed that they are ‘legally separated’ and will soon divorce. According to her rep, Courtney is “interested in exploring life as an unmarried single young adult – with the freedom to explore her independence.” Translation: she wants to slut it up – Z-list style. But before you try to wipe away your sorrows by chugging ten bottles of vodka and re-watching “Don’t Put it On Me Girl”, Courtney wants everyone to know that Doug will remain her best friend “for life” as well as the co-manager of her career. They will also share custody of their dog, Dourtney. As for Doug, he can now try his luck with Courtney’s long lost sister Courtina or her troubled half-sister Courtland. Hollywood Life

NJ-Mall-Shooting-gunmanWhile it wasn’t as dramatic on the Kenyan mall siege, the New Jersey mall shooting did have a happier ending. Richard Shoop, the man suspected of opening fire at a New Jersey mall Monday night, was found dead early Tuesday from what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The 20 year-old fired off six founds in the Westfield Garden State Plaza Mall prompting an immediate mall lockdown. No one (aside from Shoop) was reported injured. The motive for Shoop’s suicide mission? It appears he was addicted to MDMA – so who knows. ABC News

china-cat-sterilizedSave the cats! A massive cat rescue mission is underway in eastern China after hundreds of cats were taken from a cat dealer and released into a mountainous region. A truck carrying 1,000 cats (presumably to be eaten) was stopped at a highway toll gate. After officials determined the track lacked proper permits, they ordered the cats to be released into the wild. Animal-loving volunteers are now combing the area trying to locate the wandering cats and return them to their owners. CBC News

07-11-2012drcsoldiersPeace in the Congo! Just kidding – but it is a step in the right direction. The M23 rebel group in the eastern Democratic Republic of Congo announced that their 20-month rebellion is over, hours after the government claimed military victory. The rebels were cornered in in the hills along the border with Uganda and Rwanda, gave up, and said they would adopt “purely political means” to achieve their goals from now on. But don’t get your hopes of yet – there are still some 20 armed groups operating in Congo’s lawless state. BBC News

Russian TeenGoing once, going twice, sold to the creepy Russian gentleman for $27,950! A 18-year-old Russian girl has sold her virginity in an online auction for the noblest of causes: she wants money. The 18-year-old, known only by her nickname of Shatuniha, wrote that she is “in urgent need of money, so I am selling the most precious thing I possess.” A man named Evgeniy Volnev will do the honors after bidding almost $28k. The two will seal the deal at a hotel in Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk. NY Daily News

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