Uncle Ruslan Does Not Forgive… And Other News

Uncle Ruslan

Uncle Ruslan is NOT impressed with his nephews.

The father of suspected Boston Marathon bombers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev thinks his sons were framed. Their mother concurs: “I am 100 percent sure that this is a setup,” Zubeidat Tsarnaeva told Russia Today in a broadcast phone interview. But Uncle Ruslan knows better. After learning about his nephews involvement in the bombings, Uncle Ruslan called them “losers” and “barbarians”, saying they “do not deserve to be on this earth”. Both the father and uncle called for Dzhokhar to turn himself in. “Give up. Give up. You have a bright future ahead of you. Come home to Russia,” the dad said. And Uncle Ruslan? “You put a shame on the entire Chechen ethnicity.” ABC News

Delhi Rape #830,284,833Think India’s rape track record can’t get any worse? Think again! A five-year-old girl is in critical condition after being kidnapped and repeatedly raped by a neighbor in Delhi, India. The girl was taken on Monday and was kept in a locked room for over 48 hours until a passer-by heard her screams. In related news, Delhi police are also on the lookout for a group of men who gang-raped a 19-year-old woman on Wednesday.  What a great city! BBC News

Gay Boy ScoutGood news for gay youth who enjoy doing whatever it is boy scouts do: the Boy Scouts of America made some progress today (kind of…), announcing they are considering no longer denying membership to youth on the basis of sexual orientation. The proposal will be put to a vote in May, and if passed will go into effect January 1st. But bad news for openly gay males who want to be scout leaders – that ban is still on. Better luck next year! CNN

Kim Kris Sham WeddingAfter winning the world record for shortest marriage, Kim Kardashian has set a new record: longest divorce negotations. Kim and Kris Humphries’ 72-day marriage finally came to an end 535 days later when they finally reached a divorce settlement. Kris wanted to take divorce to court to try to get the marriage annulled on the basis of fraud, but instead he ended up settling so he didn’t have to miss any basketball games. The settlement package? Kris will get nothing and have to pay for his own attorney fees.  Gold-digging fail! New York Daily News

Ryan Lochte Portrait SessionFor those who thought you can’t get any dumber than Kris Humphries: think again.  Olympic swimmer and resident genius, Ryan Lochte, has a new reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, premiering Sunday, April 21st on E! The show’s main goal, according to Ryan, is to promote “swimming awareness”.  I guess that means awareness of swimming’s existence? Cameras will follow Lochte around documenting his dating life, hanging out with his friends, and basically just saying his catchphrase ‘Jeah’ a lot. Here he is giving an award-winning interview on Good Day Philadelphia:

Well, he didn’t answer the question What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, but he did answer the question What Wouldn’t Ryan Lochte Do? Answer: Math problems.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply