Where In The World Is Mayor Rob Ford?

Where in the World is Mayor Rob Ford

You would think someone so big and constantly stumbling around in a drunken stupor while leaving a trail of crack would be easy to spot, but the search is on for Rob Ford after the crack-smoking mayor mysteriously withdrew his request to enter the United States border last Thursday.

After announcing his plans to enter rehab following the release of yet another crack video, Rob Ford decided to switch it up and wreak havoc on a different city. The mayor took a private plane from Toronto Buttonville Municipal Airport and flew to Chicago, the U.S headquarters of the Ford family business. But at the last minute, Ford decided (or was forced?) to turn back before he officially entered the U.S.

“U.S. Customs and Border Protection confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed,” the Consul General of Canada in Chicago confirmed, noting that the mayor “was not denied entry, per se.”

The current whereabouts of Mayor McCrack are now unknown. His brother, Councillor Doug Ford, refused to give details of his brother’s location, but he did say the mayor is “100 per cent” in a rehab program.

“For the one-millionth time, Rob Ford is in a rehabilitation program,” he told reporters on Tuesday.

“He’s feeling good. He bought into the program and he’s getting the support that he needs,” Doug continued.

The mayor’s lawyer, Dennis Morris, reiterated that the mayor checked into a treatment facility but remained silent on its whereabouts.

“The bottom line is he’s in rehab, he’s getting rehab and he’ll be there for a number of weeks – and that’s the answer. It’s not like he’s at a baseball game in Los Angeles or something.”

In other news, crack sales in Toronto have plummeted and the Etobicoke KFC is going out of business.

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